"The L Word" Recaps: Episode 5.6 "Lights! Camera! Action!"

Emotional whiplash — After that giddy bubblegum stuff, we see Alice on her bed, crying. The camera moves slowly across the bed, and I half expect to see Ghost Dana perched on a pillow. I don't know whether that would have been good or bad. I could use a little pick-me-up, frankly.

We are family — Tina and Angelica are having breakfast at Tina's house. (Nice digs, by the way.) Tina suggests that they call Mama B to see if she wants to meet them at The Planet. Angie whispers "Mama B" so many times and so cutely, I think I'm going to faint from gasping at the darlingness.

Alas, it's not to be: Bette is having breakfast with Jodi. Funny how girlfriends can get in the way of affairs. But actually, Jodi wouldn't have interfered at all. She's in the mood to go out and is surprised Bette doesn't want to join Mama T and Angie.

Bette: I would really just like to sit in my garden and read the newspaper.

Ahh. The perfect Sunday morning. But this one isn't, at least not for Jodi.

Bette: But if you want to go to The Planet and do another podcast ...

Passive-aggressive much? That's not fair, and Jodi knows it, and so does Bette — and we know what it's really about.

Jodi: I said I was just joking. And I said I was sorry, too. Are you gonna go on punishing me forever?

Bette apologizes and says she really just needs some "Sunday alone time" so she can prepare for the meeting with the board about the traumatic soapstone-gun performance art. (Is there such a thing as non-traumatic soapstone-gun performance art?)

Jodi: What are you going to tell them?
Bette: I really don't know.
Jodi: [signing] Tell them your judgment was clouded because Professor Lerner is an incredibly hot f---.

Bette laughs nervously, which probably isn't the reaction Jodi was hoping for. But she winks anyway.

Gosh: First we had the tongue-clicks from Jenny and Joyce, and now the winks from Jodi and Joyce. Everyone whose name starts with J has been taking courses at the Wischnia Institute for Advanced Progressive Sustainable Global Policy Reform and Macking Innovation.