drummerdeeds's blog

A few weeks ago, we told you about the possibility that Archie Panjabi’s character, Kalinda, on CBS’s The Good Wife is bisexual. Lesbians and bisexual women everywhere squealed with joy at the possibility of the Bend it Like Beckham hottie canoodling with another badass women like herself after a long day of kicking ass and taking names.

However, this week, Entertainment Weekly’s “Ausellio Files” reported that The Good Wife producers are casting Kalinda’s potential love interest — and it’s a bro.

WTF happened to Donna? Wasn’t she supposed to be Kalinda’s boo nasty? I’m so sad right now. We want Donna back!

The New York Post is reporting that Stephanie Adams, most famously known for being the first and only out lesbian Playboy playmate, is set to marry a dude.

This might come as somewhat of a shock to lesbians and straight fans alike, who have followed Adams’ public coming out as a lesbian and subsequent fervent support of the LGBT community. Adams, named “best NYC lesbian sex symbol” in 2004 by the Village Voice, informed Page Six that she is indeed engaged to a “loving, supportive, successful man,” and would like to hereby “retire from being a public persona so that we can settle down and have children ... Life is good ... I have no regrets for anything.”

In 2004, Adams told the crowd at NYC’s Gay Pride Rally, “One year ago, I decided to finally come ‘out’ publicly as a lesbian in spite of what could have come out as a result of it.” This speech jumpstarted her involvement as a high-profile LGBT activist and advocate. Since then, she's authored books like Sapphica: Astrology For Lesbians and Empress: A Sapphic Novel.

Newlywed pop star Fergie is known for her Black Eyed Peas and solo-career fame, and less so for that awful girl group Wild Orchid in the 1990s. (Anyone remember them hosting the lip-syncing ABC Family show The Great Pretenders?) This week, she spoke openly to The Advocate about her new role in the movie Nine and her highly-publicized bisexuality.

In previous interviews, Fergie has noted she's had sexual experiences with women, but now she talks about her bisexuality in the context of her marriage — and no, she will not be making a threesome sex tape.

In the new musical film Nine, Fergie plays a “voluptuous Italian whore who first stimulates the young libido of philogynist filmmaker Guido.” On whether she can relate to this role, Fergie replies:

Definitely. There will be teenage boys at my shows, so sometimes I’m seducing them from the stage. It’s not like anything’s going to happen — it’s very playful and flirtatious — but it’s funny because I’m 34 and they’re 14. So I get that about Saraghina.

Umm, creepy. Mothers, hide your little boys. Lesbians, cover your eyes.

News sources and fans are abuzz with word that Winona Ryder will be joining Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis for Darren Aronofsky’s supernatural thriller, Black Swan.

If AfterEllen.com had a nickel for every time we wrote a blog post about lesbian plotline-turned ratings stunt, we’d be able to give every single reader ten copies of the entire L Word series and rent out U-Hauls for free. That’s a lot of nickels.

Spoiler warning: If you haven't watched the episode yet, stop reading now.

Appropriately, in a move that disappointed many but shocked no one — especially during sweeps, where networks try to get their highest ratings — Heroes’ potential lesbian relationship between Claire Bear and Gretchen disappeared before our eyes like Becky Taylor on the kill.

A few weeks ago, we told you about Charlize Theron’s selfless act of a kissing a woman for $140,000 donated to charity. She’s a regular Mother Teresa.

Apparently, though, not everyone was as enthused. In a totally disappointing interview, many of Bollywood’s top actresses — Bipasha Basu, Kareena Kapoor, Katrina Kaif and Shilpa Shetty — wrinkled their noses at the girl-on-girl kiss for charity. They would prefer auctioning off dinner dates and perform in runway shows instead.

Bipasha Basu

Now, why would they be so opposed? Perhaps they don’t want to smudge their lipstick. Or maybe they’re afraid of the H1N1 virus. Actually, Kareena and Katrina attribute their reservations to different “social values” between Western culture and Indian culture.

Katrina Kaif

Kareena says: “What Charlize did was really cool but our social values [in India] are different and it would become more of a national sensation than a charitable cause if I kissed a woman on her lips.” But for a good cause, she would gladly kiss a woman on the cheek.

Halloween is my favorite holiday of all the holidays-turned-consumerism fest in America, as it allows me to get into a ridiculous character and eat free candy. However, it’s also the worst holiday ever, because many Americans feel that it’s a day off of being decent, tactful human beings.

Walk around any college campus and you’ll see every stereotype: men ridiculing drag queens and it be socially acceptable, people squinting their eyes to appear Asian and crowd after crowd of crass costumes.

Nothing makes me madder, though, than when people do blackface aka painting their faces a dark brown color to resemble African-Americans. Enter Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Whitney Isleib, who committed the cultural crime by donning blackface for her costume of soon-to-be incarcerated Lil Wayne.

The pictures of the cheerleader were tagged on Facebook, leaked first to Deadspin and then all over the internet.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, 90210 show runner Rebecca Sinclair gives us some, er, straight talk about what’s in store for the nascent lesbian relationship we reported on last week.

Sinclair insists that the relationship between Gia and another female character is far from the faux-lesbian flings so notoriously exploited by primetime soaps. She explains that they’re “coming at this [relationship] from a genuine place,” rather than creating a “titillating story that will grab some promotion.” Titillating. Ha.

Caution: Spoilers ahead.

I didn’t think it was possible for a lesbian character to look so good in a power suit since Bette Porter, but Christine Woods has proven me wrong. This week, Woods spoke to The Advocate about her (awesome) initiation into primetime, major network lesbianhood as Janis Hawk, the federal agent star of ABC’s new drama FlashForward.

Woods is more than enthusiastic to be playing a lesbian for the first time in her career and pushing the limits of her acting experience. She describes Janis as a “tough broad” who “holds her own” in her predominantly male FBI squad based in LA.

About playing gay for the first time, Woods gushes, “I love it,” and applauds ABC for having “some really great gay characters on a lot of their shows.”

Hmmm, I don’t know if they deserve that much applause — a certain platonic Calzona relationship and firing Dr. Erica Hahn in the middle of her sexual breakthrough come to mind — but nonetheless, she’s right when she appreciates the fact that her coming out on a date with Maya wasn’t a “big to-do; it was just part of her life and it was normal for her.”

It’s that time of year again, ladies. You’re agonizing over the fact that you’ve outgrown the stage where you used to be able to put “slutty” in front of any old costume — librarian, trucker, lumberjack, blogger — and it’d be (kind of) socially acceptable. If you still think it’s acceptable, you’re wrong.

But never fear, AfterEllen.com is here to help you! We take a look at some ordinary Halloween costumes and give them lesbian twists, inspired by both famous queer women and our own dykey Halloween costumes.

Now, a doctor or nurse costume is boring. But a bisexual, strange women-seducing, medically brilliant doctor is much more intriguing. White lab coat, suspenders, enrapturing brooding eyes, and voila: Thirteen!

If you’re the bubblier type, don some scrubs and a girlfriend (whom you never kiss, because lesbians never show affection like straight people), and poof, you’re Dr. Callie Torres!

Last week, Gibson posted a list of its 10 favorite “All-Female Bands.” (Thanks to AE reader monica_s for the tip!) They got a few right:

Vixen, the late 80’s “hair-metal” response to the likes of Warrant and Poison. Some critics dubbed them the “female equivalent of Bon Jovi,” but who’s to say Bon Jovi isn’t the male equivalent of Vixen?

The Donnas are known for their “infectious hooks” and “snarling riffs,” plus badass lyrics like “You can play my game/But I’ll put you to shame.” They picked up more queer credit with their theme song, “I Don’t Want to Know” for South of Nowhere.

The Dixie Chicks, the undoubtedly “highest-selling all-female group of all-time,” have come a long way from awkward music videos, to showcasing their musicianship and turning the every country music stereotype on its head. Yes, you can play country music and hate George Bush.

AfterEllen.com’s forums have been abuzz with readers whose gaydars have been picking up on the non-straightness of Archie Panjabi’s character, Kalinda Sharma, on CBS’s The Good Wife. Though there aren’t any American news sources confirming Kalinda’s sexuality, South Asian-specific blog Sepia Mutiny and several Indian news sites, as well as some in the UK, reported a month ago that Panjabi’s character is indeed bisexual.

Rediff Movies states that Panjabi, the Indian-origin actress of Bend it like Beckham fame, plays Kalinda, a “bisexual Indian investigator who works alongside the show’s attorney protagonist, [Alicia Florrick], played by Julianna Margulies.”

No word yet on whether Kalinda’s bisexuality will be explored or portrayed in a healthy way, but according to the forums, I’m clearly not alone in speculating that the character Donna is Kalinda’s lezzy lover. And now, in light of these confirmations, Donna very well may be the Kalinda-loving girlfriend we’ve all been waiting for.

Attention AfterEllen readers: The rumors are true. Beyoncé and Lady Gaga are in the same music video. I didn’t think it was possible to be this excited about a duet since Brandy and Monica did “The Boy is Mine,” but, sure enough, B invited the powerhouse pop star to take some time off from showing support for the LGBT community and make a cameo appearance in her new single “Video Phone” off of I Am…Sasha Fierce.

Can I get a hell yeah?

I think the song is pretty silly, actually (“…press record/ I’ll let you film me on your video phone”), but I love Beyoncé, and who wouldn’t be excited for two amazing divas — both known for putting on unforgettable shows — to simultaneously star in a music video?

This Friday, Playboy hits the stands with none other than Marge Simpson on its cover. CNN reports (I have no idea why) that in an effort to rejuvenate the magazine’s dismal sales, the blue-haired babe will be featured to hopefully garner attention among younger readers. The spread will include a “scantily-clad Marge in cartoon lingerie,” in a way that creators hope will be “hip, cool and unusual.”

The cover’s design is also a throwback to their October 1971 cover that featured the breathtaking Darine Stern, the first Black woman to grace Playboy’s cover. Editorial director Jimmy Jellinek decided to recreate Stern’s cover because it was one of their “most iconic covers” and Marge’s blue beehive reminded him of Stern’s “beautiful, voluminous hairdo.”

I find it quite peculiar that he’s comparing the first Black woman on Playboy to the first cartoon woman on their cover. I’m not supporting or denouncing them when it comes to evaluating whether it was revolutionary for a black woman to be on the cover in terms of changing our standards of beauty or instead extending the scope of demographics of women to objectify, but it seems rather insulting to me.

Angelina Jolie is in talks to replace Charlize Theron in Tourist, the remake of the French film Anthony Zimmer. Theron apparently opted out of the film to shoot the Hancock sequel, and, thankfully, Tom Cruise stepped out and was replaced by Sam Worthington.

In a move that shocks us all, Jolie would be playing a female agent. I think it’s high time for Angie to diversify her blockbuster movie roles.

I mean, doesn’t she get sick of wearing tight leather?

Bisexual pop star Lady Gaga will be marching alongside her fellow gays this Sunday in Washington D.C. for the National Equality March. I think I just peed myself. No, not because I have an overactive bladder, but because I’m going to be there! As a D.C. native, I know I have to be down there to show support for LGBT rights, and maybe I’ll even get my mom to march alongside her gay (and favorite) daughter.

Gaga spoke passionately at a fundraiser for the March after performing on SNL, telling supporters, “Next week is the gay pride march and I know I’m going to be there marching with all of you.”

Oops. Lady Gaga, don’t know you that Pride happened during the summer? This is not just a “gay pride parade”— this is for political, social and human rights for LGBT Americans. This is much more than a party (though I do hope there’s an after-party); millions of Americans will be marching in policymakers’ backyards, making it impossible for them to shut the blinds of their offices and ignore our rights. I know she meant well, but she should realize her mistake.

This just in: There will be a bisexual female character in the new Bollywood film, 3 Nights 4 Days, but she’s not a murderer plotting revenge against some girl’s boyfriend! That’s a relief.

The movie boasts a cast full of, as of now, no-name newcomers playing a group of college friends who reunite in Goa for a wedding. Since Goa is notorious for being a 24-hour party island, things get interesting when the old friends, whose “personalities and ideologies” have changed since graduating from Pune University three years ago, party, catch up and hook up.

One of the friends, Zoha (played by Madhuri Bhattacharya), is the is disowned by her “affluent Hyderabadi Muslim family” because of her bisexuality, but leads a successful life as a fashion designer. She’s also described as having “average looks and sharp brains,” which is definitely a breath of fresh air from the oversexed bimbos in some other Bollywood films. Luckily, though, her looks are far from average.

Ohmygod, ohmygod! Madonna and Lady Gaga just kissed! Well, almost.

This past weekend, SNL was hosted by Ryan Reynolds. Too bad nobody cares. I obviously skipped ahead to only the parts with musical guest Lady Gaga in them.

On the “Deep House Dish" talk show skit, Madonna made a cameo and performed standard teeny bopper choreography in sync with Gaga, which eventually erupted into a wig-pulling, leather-boot kicking, diva-on-diva cat fight slash strangling match. Kenan Thompson was the host, and brought the brawling blondes on either side of him on the couch to keep them from inflicting real bodily harm on one another.

As a worshipper of Karen O's ingeniously inventive style, nutcase performances and banshee-like vocals, I was hesitant to listen to the soundtrack of Where the Wild Things Are. I had heard from various friends that it was far from anything like, "Boy you're just a stupid b---h and girl, you're just a no good d--k," and, instead, more subdued.

Karen O, one of the wildest things that ever were, seems like a natural fit for the film’s music with her unorthodox vocal performances and outrageous visions.

Director Spike Jonze, writer Maurice Sendek and Karen O

However, her performance on the record is the complete opposite of what you'd expect from her. When I finally gave it an open-minded listen, I looked beyond the insane stage antics of the intriguing front woman of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs — the woman can sing! Karen O composed and co-produced much of the music for her ex-boo’s (Spike Jonze) more-than-a-children’s movie, alongside her two Yeah Yeah Yeahs bandmate bros. This stripped down soundtrack reminds me of Kimya Dawson's unconventional contributions for Juno's backing tunes.

There’s nothing like consoling your significant other with tales of your lesbian dalliances.

In last night’s episode of house, “Epic Fail,” we get a handful of failures on many fronts: House quits after being too emotionally unstable, Foreman assumes the position and is now Thirteen’s boss, Taub quits in order to pursue culinary arts, Thirteen offers to tell a tale of her college lesbianism to Foreman, who later fires her. WTF?

Rewind.

Let’s be honest: The only reason why I watch House is because of Olivia Wilde. I didn’t even start watching the show until I saw the infamous teaser of her hooking up with another woman in the episode “Lucky Thirteen.” I refuse to watch any season before she graced Princeton-Plainsboro (late 2007— yes, I’m obsessed) with her brooding stares, sexy suspenders and medical brilliance.

This weekend, Saturday Night Live returned with a premiere that gave viewers more excitement than they had expected. As if Megan Fox hosting the show wasn’t enough to tantalize and tease, newcomer Jenny Slate upstaged the Jennifer’s Body star by dropping the “F-bomb.”

Slate uttered the big daddy of all curse words during the “Biker Chick Chat” among banter about jorts (jean shorts) and drinking beers with Kristen Wiig and Megan. After saying “freaking" one billion times, Slate got a little too caught up and said, “You know what? You stood up for yourself, and I f-----g love you for that.” Slate looked like a puffer fish after realizing her error, but the skit continued on just fine.

Obviously, NSFW for about a second as long as it takes for her to utter the word:

This morning, in honor of the new Courtney Cox series Cougar Town, the New York Daily News compiled a photo tribute to Hollywood’s hottest cougars and their (much) younger prey. Among the usual cradle-robbers — Demi, Madonna and Mariah — was our very own Ellen DeGeneres.

That the 51-year-old new American Idol judge is married to 35-year-old Portia di Rossi, clearly makes her a cougar, but I guess it just never occurred to me to classify her as one. Damn heteronormativity. Good thing the folks over at the NY Daily News aren’t as oblivious as I am, and did well to include a lesbian in their list. Bravo!

The ALMA (American Latino Media Arts) Awards aired last Friday, September 18th from UCLA’s Royce Hall to honor Latinos in America for their achievements in the entertainment industry.

The show, also called the “Latin American Oscars,” was co-hosted by the new hottie mommy Eva Longoria Parker. An entire gallery really should be dedicated to how on fire she was on the red carpet and onstage charming the audience. Though it looked kinda like she rummaged through her closet and found all seven of her unused prom dresses from the '80s, the Desperate Housewives diva was smokin’ hot.

Now if only we could drop that pesky “Parker” from her name.

Last week, The Real World: Cancun crew reunited to dish on more drama — if that were even possible — that took place in the house this season. Among overly dramatic scream sessions that resulted in Emilee storming offstage, tears over skinny little boy toys and really harsh backstabbing comments, Ayiiia’s girl-loving dalliances were talked about the most.

First, we learn that in Cancun, the thing that opened up Ayiiia’s world to the wonders of sleeping with women was the fact that she and Emilee “diddled” between the sheets. Diddled? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I’m guessing we can all use our imaginations and diddle the possibilities of what might have happened.

Emilee responds to the fact that she’s like a gateway drug for questioning girls by speculating her lovemaking prowess: “Turn ‘em all, then they fall in love.”

Warning: do not try this at home.

This past Sunday marked the end of the 2009 World Rhythmic Gymnastics Championships, held in Ise, Mie, Japan. Last week, the women with the least number of bones in their body traveled from all over the world to out-split, out-bend and out-contort one another. Individual events included all-around, hoop, ball, rope and my personal fave, individual ribbon. Groups competed in all-around, hoops, ribbons and ropes, for a the-more-the-limber-er flexibility fest.

Hell, I can’t even do the splits, yet these competitors defied anatomy and delivered.

Monika Mincheva of Bulgaria outdoes herself in the ball qualifying round