If you were alive in the 1990s, then you are aware of the ever-popular show Beverly Hills, 90210, about trendy high schoolers from the chic Beverly Hills zip code who never seemed to graduate. OK, they did graduate, but it took a really long time.  

The CW network owns the rights to create a new version of the 90210 series, but the project still hasn't been greenlit.  I'm not sure why they're delaying this brilliant piece of magic.

As an avid fan of the original show, I sat in my bedroom at night and pictured myself as the cool, rebellious Luke Perry, aka Dylan McKay (what a fabulous and truly believable character name), but now in retrospect I was really Nat from the Peach Pit. Beverly Hills, 90210 changed me, as it changed so many other teens wearing hypercolor shirts and MC Hammer pants.

Although there is no replacing the lovely and extremely talented Tori Spelling, I have decided I want to do my own casting for the lesbian version of 90210, and it would go something like this:

Brandon Walsh, played by Ellen Degeneres

This is an obvious choice but had to be made. Ellen is the perfect twin protagonist to lead this pack of cliquey lesbians.

Brenda Walsh played by Jill Bennett

The other twin protagonist/scene-stealer with a dark streak can only be played by our very own AE hottie Jill Bennett.

Don't judge the number on this list!  Six is my lucky number.  Or am I just saying that six is my lucky number as an April fool's joke?  You can't be sure what is or isn't true today, can you? Now that I have made you paranoid, here are my Top Six Moments in Entertainment that I wish were just bad pranks rather than true events.

6. Anne Heche Phones Home

Anne Heche has had some public ups and downs but nothing shines so bright as her attempt to board the Mothership.

In 2000, Heche (aka Celestia, aka AreYouKiddingMe?!) was found wandering in a rural area outside Fresno wearing only a bra and shorts (attire only acceptable for Dinah Shore weekend).  AreYouKiddingMe?! rang a stranger's doorbell and requested directions to a gateway into outer space and then asked if she could use their shower. (I always freshen up before exiting the planet.)

5. Cher Retires...

...again and again and again.  The artist only known by one name (and Mama Bear to Chastity Bono, pictured below sporting a mullet) has been entertaining the world for over 40 years. She won an Academy Award, Grammy Award, Emmy Award and three Golden Globes.

Sadly, Cher hung her wigs up for good during her Farewell Tour in April 2005 at the Hollywood Bowl. We miss you Cher we miss you ... but wait! We will NOT miss you anymore because you're back in effect at Caesar's Palace performing the Cher Resurrection Cher Returns tour!

You tricked us Cher! We thought you were going to sit home in a rocking chair crocheting until death came knocking at your door. Good one Cher! You really April-fooled us this time! (P.S. more butt tattoos, please.)

4. Winona Ryder Needs to Borrow Five Bucks

In 2002, Hollywood's not so-girl next door Winona Ryder was convicted of stealing $5,500 in clothing from Saks Fifth Ave.  The two-time Academy Award nominee has worked with Tim Burton and sex goddess Angelina Jolie, yet all she ever wanted was a petite oyster-colored sweater set.

In one afternoon, Ryder set pixies back 20 years. Tinkerbell is the only one we can trust now.

With all the advanced technology in the world it's only a matter of time before robots take over the planet. I'm sure you are all thinking the same thing: Without human beings how will the robots stay entertained? Answer: remake movies, of course!

(Actually I was really thinking, "Would dating a lesbian robot be easier than dating a lesbian human?" Yes, if the robot can transform into a U-Haul.)

Here are movies with hot chicks recreated by robots:

Aeon Flux

Basic Instinct

Tyra Banks makes me tired. A full weekend for me is when I watch a movie and do a load of laundry but Tyra Banks, our favorite supermodel, turned talent scout/reality show star turned talk show host apparently wasn't busy enough this past Friday so she decided to create her own award show to honor past America's Top Model contestants in the first annual "Fiercee Awards" (yes two Es) which will air on an upcoming episode of The Tyra Banks Show.

Tyra Banks is not only the most successful entrepreneur in the world but she's also a MACHINE!

Tyra's endless efforts to give young women self-esteem exhausts me. Ironically, Tyra makes me feel bad about myself since I can't even move my car on street sweeping day to avoid a parking ticket let alone invent my own award show.

Here are some past ANTM contestants all dressed up for the big event:

Bianca Golden

Camille McDonald

Caridee English