Remember those long, insufferable clip montages from the Oscars? Apparently, the Emmys do. This year, the awards show is putting the content in our hands (so if it sucks, I guess we’re to blame). You can cast your vote for “Television’s Most Memorable Moments” in the categories of drama and comedy, and the winning clips will air during the live broadcast on September 21. The ABC site lists all 40 nominees and has videos of each one to refresh your memory.

You’ll find plenty of Emmy darlings, like The Sopranos and M*A*S*H, but there are also some surprises. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which never took home a major Emmy, gets the nod (and my vote) for Sarah Michelle Gellar’s “death” scene in season five’s “The Gift.” I’m hoping the producers will re-cut the clip for the broadcast because the one up now stops awkwardly short of the episode’s trademark line: “Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.” (*Single tear* — it gets me every time!)

The big one for us is in the comedy category. Our girl, Ellen DeGeneres, is up for her groundbreaking coming-out episode from 1997. The highlighted clip covers the funny and moving airport scene, in which Ellen tells guest star Laura Dern she’s gay over the loudspeaker.

If that’s not enough to send you to the online poll immediately, check out these other nominees with strong female leads.

Over the last 20 odd years, the Olympics have been pretty predictable when it comes to controversy. You can expect that a handful of athletes will get accused of doping, that a gymnastics judge or two will make some really bad calls and that at least one bizarre scandal will surface and leave you scratching your head. For the Beijing games, that special controversy was the lip-syncing debacle involving two little girls.

If you haven’t heard by now, here’s the gist: A representative of the Chinese government didn’t like the look of the 7-year-old girl (Yang Peiyi) chosen to sing at the opening ceremony, so he had a “cuter” substitute, 9-year-old Lin Miaoke, installed to lip-sync along to Yang’s voice (wow, China has the gold for “Biggest A-Hole Move” in the bag). If you’re wondering just how hideous this poor Yang is, check out her photo.

Where’s the gross deformity? The eye-patch? The horns? You can stop looking — she’s your typical 7-year-old cutie pie. And her show-stopping replacement?

Yeah, she’s cute, too. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by the lack of sensitivity, given the country’s stellar human rights’ record, especially when it comes to girls. But you’d think the host nation would have more important things to do than swapping cute for cute like, oh, I don’t know, adding fake CGI fireworks into the ceremony broadcast, stacking their women’s gymnastics team with 14-year-old ringers (allegedly) or hiding all their gold from Michael Phelps. So, what gives?

Lots of new DVDs are hitting stores this week and, of course, very few of them (make that one) feature lesbian and bisexual characters. Strangely enough, though, there doesn’t seem to be a shortage of Girls Gone Wild-type docs (I counted no less than six separate titles this week — go figure.) But don’t let this sad little fact make you cancel your subscription to Netflix. There are still a couple of DVDs with hot lady appeal.

Preaching to the Perverted

Writer, actress, all-around celesbian Guinevere Turner plays a dominatrix ruling the London S&M scene with an iron whip in this 1997 controversial film. There’s this whole plot about a guy who’s sent in by a minister to spy on her and figure out a way to bring her group down ... blah, blah, blah. But let’s cut to the chase: You can expect lots of hot leather outfits, lesbian trysts, and more fetish fun than you can shake an inappropriately used riding crop at.

Smart People

One of our favorite indie starlets is back and doing what she does best: playing a witty teen with lots of attitude and interesting choices in wardrobe. Ellen Page takes on the role of Vanessa, a sarcastic, SAT-obsessed girl who has her hands full with her brilliant but disconnected father (Dennis Quaid). She gets a little help loosening him up from his new love interest, played by Sarah Jessica Parker.

Hello, my name is Ms. Anthrope, and I’m a DVD-aholic. But I’m not addicted to just any ol’ DVD — sci-fi shows with kick-ass female leads are my crack. (You know you have a problem when you already own each individual season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and still couldn’t resist buying the pricey complete-series box set.) I’ve been clean since Christmas when I did some major Battlestar Galactica damage, but I’m about to fall off the wagon — big time. The reason for the relapse? Too many DVDs featuring supernaturally hot TV chicks are hitting shelves this summer! Take a peek at these upcoming cult favorites.

Birds of Prey: The Complete Series
Release Date: Tomorrow

A Plot Refresher: Based on the DC comic, the show centers on three crime-fighting superheroes who are — get this — all women. Even the main villain (Mia Sara) is female! (Uh, why didn’t this show last longer than a season? I blame the totally dull Dinah character; she’s way more culpable than, say, the lowly network.)

Anyway, the biggest bad-ass of the trio is Huntress, the lovechild of Batman and Catwoman. But more importantly, she’s played by a brooding, raven-haired Ashley Scott (think Angelina Jolie’s character from Foxfire, only with superpowers). Her mentor in lesbian subtext is the former Batgirl, who’s now known as the wheelchair-bound Oracle (Dina Meyer).

The DVD Lowdown:

BOP fans have been pushing for the release of the complete series ever since it was canceled way back in 2002. While the wait is finally over, don’t get your hopes up for a big production: The penny-pinching studio didn’t even bother to buy the rights to the original theme song. They did manage, however, to include all 13 episodes and two bonus features. The first one is the complete web series of Gotham Girls, which is probably great if you’re into animation (I’m not). But I did like watching the un-aired pilot extra, mainly because it’s interesting to see how Sherilyn Fenn played the recast role of Dr. Harleen Quinzel.

I was going to start this post off singing the praises of TV god Joss Whedon — you know, the divine creator of all that is good and holy in the Buffyverse (Vamp Willow decked out in black leather for one). But then I realized that calling him a genius on AfterEllen.com is like preaching to the choir. I might as well say women are hot. (Duh.) So, I’m going to skip the Joss love-fest and just point out the fact that the man can do it all: He turned a failed feature film into a TV show (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), a canceled TV show into a feature film (Firefly/Serenity), and me into a comic-book lover (Fray). It should be no surprise then that he’s about to break new ground once again with what has to be the first-ever “Internet miniseries event” called Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.

The official site for the “supervillain musical” starring out actor Neil Patrick Harris as a mad scientist (is there any other kind?) went live this past weekend, and the trailer has already sent fangirls and boys everywhere into an online tizzy. Check out what all the buzz is about here.

That looks awe – wait for it – some, as Neil’s character, Barney (from How I Met Your Mother), would say. The teaser, of course, doesn’t give away too much. I guess we’ll have to tune in to find out if it’s as good as Buffy’s Once More with Feeling or just a way to pass the time until Dollhouse debuts in the winter. But one thing is for sure: NPH is the perfect choice for this kind of campy villain. He can sing, he can do comedy (see the HIMYM reference above), and he’s already played a doctor (paging Doogie Howser!) on TV.

The summer TV schedule has barely gotten off the ground, and the networks are already rolling out the big trailers for fall. This means you’ll probably be sick of most shows before they even premiere — which is usually the case for me. But I have a confession to make: I’ve been sucked in by the Fox hype machine. After watching a promo the other night, I’m now totally psyched for the new J.J. Abrams joint, Fringe, starring Anna Torv and Pacey Joshua Jackson.

If Fringe is half as good as Abrams’ other shows (Felicity, Alias, Lost), we’re in for lots of smart, ass-kicking fun. And by the looks of the new trailer, we’ve got nothing to worry about. Check it out and let me know what you think.

OK, how cool was that? It reminds me of a cross between Alias and The X-Files — with a Lost-style plane crash thrown in for good measure. And it doesn’t hurt that Torv is smokin’ hot either. Her FBI character, Olivia Dunham, could be the next Sydney Bristow (minus the awesome wigs, unfortunately).

Springtime sweeps have come and gone, but don’t turn off your TV just yet. While you can expect more than your fair share of reruns, there are lots of new shows hitting the small screen this summer — and some of them are even scripted!

Throw in returning favorites like The Closer, Weeds and My Boys, and it’s shaping up to be a halfway decent TV line-up for women (well, if you don’t count all the reality-show rejects leftover from the fall writers strike). Check out our guide to the good, the bad, and the WTF of summer programming.

SCRIPTED SHOWS

(All show times based on EST)

In Plain Sight

(June 1 at 10 PM on USA)

The Premise:

Mary McCormack packs some major heat (oh, and she carries a gun, too) as a U.S. Marshall who relocates people into the federal witness protection program. She’s a pro at helping witnesses start new lives — the problem is she can’t seem to get her own under control.

The Prediction:

DVR-worthy! USA has a good track record (Monk, Psych, Burn Notice) for creating this type of cool yet quirky detective series. Now if they’d only bring back the 4400.

Swingtown

(June 5 at 10 PM on CBS)

The Premise:

In the midst of a gas crisis, unrest in the Middle East and the social and political upheaval of 2008 1976, a family moves into an upscale Chicago suburb, looking for a little more peace and quiet. They find just the opposite, thanks to their swingin’ neighbors.

The Prediction:

Wow, CBS is airing a show about swingers? Didn’t see that one coming. While it seems better suited for HBO or Showtime, I’m definitely intrigued by the concept — and by Molly Parker (Deadwood), who plays the wife.

Fear Itself

(June 5 at 10 PM on NBC)

The Premise:

Each week, a different “Master of Horror” brings his or her (most likely his) thrilling tale of blood and guts to a TV near you. Stars set to appear in an episode include Cynthia Watros (Lost), Shiri Appleby (Roswell), and Elisabeth Moss (The West Wing).

The Prediction:

I liked this show the first time I saw it … when it was called Tales from the Crypt. I’ll probably stick with Swingtown in the 10 p.m. slot.

Come this fall, you’ll be seeing fairies everywhere (and not the gay kind). Walt Disney Pictures officially announced the October 28th release of Tinker Bell, the first in a four-part feature-length DVD series all about Peter Pan’s tiny sidekick and her fairy friends. The voice cast stars some or our favorites, including America Ferrera, Anjelica Huston, Lucy Liu, Raven-Symoné and Kristin Chenoweth.

All the Disney hype is centered on the fact that this is the first time the audience will get to hear Tinker Bell (Mae Whitman) speak. But I’m more interested in the character of Fawn, who is voiced by none other than Ugly Betty herself. (She’s the one next to Tink in the picture below, wearing the pants and the “sensible” shoes. You can see where this is going, right?)

Even better than her more butch appearance and demeanor is the way she’s described in an early press release: “This rascally tomboy is full of mischief and mirth — she loves to tweak Iridessa [Raven-Symoné] just to see her glow. Fawn is always ready to play and the more rough-and-tumble the game, the better.” She loves to “tweak” her, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Sorry, I dyke-gress.

Don’t get too excited about the possibility of a Fawn/Iridessa pairing just yet, though. If pop-cult history is any indication, Fawn is just another in a long line of what I like to call the “wink, wink, nudge, nudge” tomboy. Everything about this thinly veiled lesbian character — her clothes, behavior, interests (usually playing sports) — screams “butch,” but the writers always fall short of outing her. Instead, they slap on the non-threatening “tomboy” label and either set her up in an awkward boy-crush or strip her of her sexuality all together. And this play-both-sides-of-the-fence formula seems to work magic: Lesbians adopt the tomboy as one of their own — hey, it’s not like we have that many openly gay characters to relate to — and the general viewing public also embraces her, since she’s never revealed to be anything more than a bit on the boyish side. It’s a win-win situation for the producers. But we, of course, have to settle for lesbian subtext and watered-down versions of ourselves yet again.

Last week we wrote about children’s books that feature a two-mommy family. While these books are great, they are few and far between — as are all gay-friendly books for that matter. One of the most recent LGBT-themed kids’ titles is a lovely picture book called And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell. Based on a true story, it’s about two male penguins that want to raise a family so badly that they start caring for an egg-shaped rock. The zookeeper is so moved by this that she gives them a real egg to nurse. The book features cute penguins, characters that overcome the odds, and a wonderful message about the importance of family. So, what’s not to love?

Apparently, a lot — And Tango Makes Three is the most “challenged” book in schools and libraries for a second straight year, according to the American Library Association. What’s the public’s beef with a sweet kids’ book? You can probably guess, but here’s the explanation Judith Krug of the ALA gave the Associated Press: “The complaints are that young children will believe that homosexuality is a lifestyle that is acceptable. The people complaining, of course, don't agree with that." Well, we can’t have that, now can we? Let’s not upset the breeders with a book that teaches kids about antiquated things like compassion, acceptance, and understanding.

Recently I got to check out the Family Circle Cup in Charleston, S.C. To be honest, I'm not much of a tennis fan, but I'm also not one to turn down the chance to watch athletic girls running around in short skirts and grunting loudly after each and every swing. (Mama didn't raise no fool, ladies!)

On the trip down from NYC, I started picturing a mini Dinah Shore weekend, complete with LGBT booths, celesbian athletes signing autographs, and sporty females decked out in a mix of Lacoste visors and wrist cuffs. After all, the 35-year-old cup is a women's tennis tournament — you know, the sport of Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova. So imagine my surprise horror when nary a gay woman was to be found (well, an out one anyway).

Now, I'm not naïve. I wasn't expecting the level of Dinah debauchery you'd see in Palm Springs — South Carolina isn't exactly known as a hotbed of (open) lesbian activity. But I thought there would be at least one special event planned by the local LGBT community or an after-hours party at a gay bar. Two days in, I would have been happy to just see a rainbow-colored anything.

And that's when it hit me: What a missed opportunity this whole thing was, especially for all the East Coast and Southern ladies who couldn't make it to California for Lesbian Spring Break. If ever there was a tournament that demanded a dyke presence, it's a female-only tennis cup.