Some basic political algebra: If a hot woman is smart and a smart woman is for Obama, are all hot women for Obama? OK, math is not my thing — I’ll leave that to StuntDouble and her gang of Lesbian Scientisticians. But hot, smart women are most definitely my thing, which brings me to Anne Hathaway.

I’ll pause a minute while you catch your breath.

Better? Hathaway was among the celebrities at the Democratic National Convention — was it really just last week? — as part of Hollywood’s Creative Coalition. Between appearances, she found time to share her thoughts about Obama with the Associated Press. What better time to examine what makes Anne one of AfterEllen.com’s favorite smart/hot women?

Smart: Hathaway didn’t take Obama’s message of hope at face value.

"I was kind of afraid of Obama the first time I saw him. … I’ve been burned by politicians before that I wanted to believe in and just didn’t live up to it.”

I loved Mamma Mia!

I know the critics were not kind, but seriously, what’s not to like? Beautiful scenery on a Greek island, head-bobbing music you know from your youth and, best of all, Meryl Streep dancing in overalls.

In fact, the only thing that could make this movie more fun is if we could be on that Greek isle, singing and dancing along. And just in time for the holiday weekend, we’re getting two out of three in the form of Mamma Mia! The Sing Along Edition. The lyrics to every musical number in the film will appear on-screen, just in case the music of ABBA isn’t seared permanently into your brain.

Sometimes a movie comes along that I just know I’m going to love. Death Race is not that movie. Vicious prison inmates drag racing to their deaths? Unless it happens to be an episode of Bad Girls, I think not. I have to say, though, that a certain someone has caused me to reconsider — Joan Allen, to be exact.

Allen plays Warden Hennessey, the corrupt prison matron of Terminal Island. If you’ve never quite understood the meaning of the term “sociopath,” her character could teach you. She would be quite strict, too, with authority oozing from every pore. Uh, what was I talking about again?

Oh, yes, Joan Allen as the prison warden who forces prisoners to participate in violent races and reaps financial rewards via pay-per-view broadcasts of the contests. The year is 2012, and whoever was elected president apparently did not fix the economy. The U.S. is in a depression, crime rules the streets and reality TV has morphed into a futuristic version of Extreme Gladiators called — wait for it — Death Race. The show features felons in armored cars with full artillery racing for freedom or death, with nary a Pennzoil logo in sight.

If you’re wondering why Allen took a role like this, you’re not alone. She has been asked as much at every promotional interview for the movie. Her answer? “It was just really fun.”

I’m a sucker for shows about the paranormal. Ghost Whisperer? Check. Medium? Check. Blood Ties? Check. The fact that these shows star very sexy women is purely coincidental.

But I have mixed feelings about Eli Stone — not that the show has a shortage of gorgeous females. If you wondered what happened to Natasha Henstridge after Commander in Chief was canceled, wonder no more. Henstridge plays Taylor Wethersby, Eli’s ex-fiancée and fellow attorney. Such a pretty, um, face.

The unsettling thing about Eli Stone is that Eli’s prophetic visions are attributed to a brain aneurysm. When I stop to think that an aneurysm might allow someone to see into the future, I get all caught up in the concept of time and simultaneous dimensions and before long, I begin to believe that I have an aneurysm myself. So, rather than ponder whether Eli has an illness or a gift, let’s look ahead to two acclaimed guest stars for Eli Stone, Season 2.

First up: Katie Holmes will play an attorney on the Oct. 21 episode, marking her return to television. Rumor has it that she will be in one of the show’s trademark song-and-dance numbers.

Holmes is a friend of the show's producer Greg Berlanti, who also produced Dawson’s Creek. Sure, the role is stunt casting, but I’ll be happy to see Katie on television again. I still miss Joey Potter.

One of the strengths of Season 1 of Army Wives was its exploration of the dynamic within this group of unlikely friends.

This season, however, has focused on individual drama. But instead of giving the characters more depth, the approach has weakened them. This episode was no exception. In the midst of a lot of dramatic tension, I found myself not really caring what happened.

You don’t have to read many of these mini-caps to know my feelings about Catherine Bell. In a word: yowza. She is one of the sexiest women on TV. And her character’s relationship with Claudia Joy is always a highlight. I was hoping that Denise and C.J. would regain some of their, um, closeness in the aftermath of Getti’s death. Sure enough, we got some nice moments of subtext.

Unfortunately, C.J. advised Denise to go home to Frank. Denise doesn’t exactly seem thrilled with the prospect. But, seriously, if you had the choice between Kim Delaney and Frank, which would you prefer? Yep — me, too.

As if Denise wasn’t conflicted enough, Getti’s dad asks her to meet him at the Julep, where he tells her how much Getti loved her. Dad is happy his son was in love when he died. Is it just me, or do you think it was kind of mean to tell her that? Especially so soon after the funeral.

Ah, Friday. The perfect day for wasting time figuring out how you’re gong to waste time over the weekend. And AfterEllen.com is here to help, with two ways to have hours of fun without accomplishing a single productive thing.

First, via Whitney at Pop Candy, the challenge to make a Manga of yourself with “Face Your Manga.” It’s fun, but a little limited in terms of hairstyles and other identifying characteristics, like ears. Did you know that ears are as distinct as fingerprints? But I digress.

Here are my versions of No. 1 Hottie Tina Fey and the woman who (sort of) started it all, Ellen.

And here is Jodie Foster with me — the only chance I will ever have to say that. Actually, it’s me except for the hair and the cleavage. But what good is a tool like this if you can’t enhance yourself a little?

Play with it a bit and post your creations in the comments.

At the other end of the creativity spectrum — as in requiring none at all — is the latest offering from the funny folks at JibJab.com: Olympic Sendables. I spent hours at this site, plugging in various faces. The fact that I laughed every time gives you an idea of my mental age.

How many Lifetime-ish storylines can you fit into 60 minutes? I think we found out on this week’s episode of Army Wives.

We saw betrayal, drugs, adultery, death, addiction, sexual experimentation — OK, that last one isn’t the normal Lifetime story. But never fear; the way the writers treated the much-teased same-sex kiss was the closest I’ve ever come to being bored watching two women lock lips. In fact, I think Lifetime has created a whole new genre: girl-on-girl inaction. But let’s save that for last, shall we?

Denise is beside herself about Getti’s motorcycle accident — and beside him is where she wants to stay while his condition is critical. Trouble is, Frank’s home on his mid-tour leave. Seeing those two together again is like nails on a chalkboard. (Do schools still have chalkboards?) To Frank’s credit, he is trying very hard to be sweet and understanding. Denise tries to put on a good front, but sorry, Frank, she’s just not that into you.

Frank realizes that all is not well and tries to talk to Denise, then offers to take her out for a nice, romantic dinner. But when he stops by the hospital, he sees Denise at Getti’s bedside, kissing his hand. Oops. Denise doesn’t see Frank, but I have a feeling he’s not going to stay silent for long.

Before being a lesbian was “hot,” I had a collection of straight guy friends — most were guys I worked with. For a while there, I had the best of both worlds: The “girls” invited me to their nights out and the “boys” invited me to theirs. It was seriously fun.

But as the straight world started learning more about lesbians (sort of), both genders got a little nervous around me. The men realized that I was actually a woman. I’m not sure what the women realized, but they obviously were uncomfortable. Maybe they thought I’d attack them in the restroom or something.

I think that’s why I don’t love My Boys — I’m jealous. I want to be P.J. (Jordana Spiro), hanging out at the bar, going to the comic store and drinking beer at ball games with the guys.

A former boss of mine, Celia, could’ve written this week’s Army Wives. Celia was all about guilt. Everything she did, she did out of guilt. Those of us who worked for her were left trying to figure out what was going on. Sort of like we had to do with this episode, “Casting Out the Net.”

Fortunately, none of the guilt was related to last week’s lesbian storyline. In fact, no one even mentioned that situation — strange, since Roland had been fired as a result. I guess we can assume he accepted his job back and will pretend nothing ever happened. Which is pretty much how the military approaches lesbian soldiers in their ranks: If no one mentions them, they don’t exist. However, the other characters had plenty of guilt to go around.

Guilty of adultery, maybe

Is kissing a person other than your spouse adultery? Denise obviously thinks so. She has been off work since last week’s episode (however long that is), sick with guilt over the passionate kiss she and Getti shared.

The person we wish she’d kiss, Claudia Joy, shows up with soup, crackers and gossip rags, although her presence alone would make anyone feel better. Denise comes clean about the smooch. C.J. seems to think it’s not a huge deal — meaning, of course, that when she finally does kiss Denise, she will be guilt-free — as long as it goes no further. C.J. is so kind and understanding that Denise seems to have completely forgotten Getti for the moment.

Denise returns to work, avoiding Getti until he tells her that he’s leaving in a week to find another job. He is smitten (duh) and doesn’t want to cause problems in her marriage. Just as she’s about to go meet Getti for a goodbye pancake, Frank calls to say he’s coming home to “get things back on course.” I don’t much like Frank, but his timing is incredible. Denise texts Getti to say she’s not coming to the diner and he hops on his bike to ride into the sunset. Instead, he apparently rides into a semi. The EMTs bring him into the ER just as Denise is leaving for home. She sees that it’s Getti and starts crying. I’m sure she will blame herself. (Guilt is like that.)

I have a friend who hates my use of the word “awesome.” She prefers to reserve it for things she deems to be truly awe-inspiring. She wouldn’t have the least objection, though, to my using the word to describe Robin Roberts.

My love for Robin goes back to the first time I saw her during a women’s basketball broadcast on ESPN. It was in 1990, shortly after the Lady Vols had proven to me what an idiot I was for not appreciating the game earlier. Robin quickly became my favorite commentator, not only because she’s absolutely gorgeous, but also because she loves the game. And it’s obvious that those who play the game love her — last week, the WNBA let Roberts know what she meant to professional women's basketball by presenting her with the 2008 WNBA Inspiration Award.

In case you are a Today Show-watcher and don’t know, Roberts is co-anchor of Good Morning America with Diane Sawyer — they are the first female pair to host a morning show. Between her Emmy Award-winning tenure at ESPN and her GMA audience, Roberts has developed quite a following. So, when she went public about her diagnosis with breast cancer last year, the outpouring of support was immediate and dramatic. (Kleenex alert!)

I knew I’d seen an Oscar-worthy performance when, at the end of Brideshead Revisited, I truly detested Lady Marchmain. Not that anyone would be fond of the cold, calculating, religiously abusive woman, but she was played by one of my favorite actors, Emma Thompson.

I would guess that the highest praise you could give an actor is that she became the character — and Thompson has been recognized many times for her talent. She won an Emmy for my personal favorite of her roles, playing a closeted Midwesterner (and lesbian) on Ellen. If you’ve never seen that episode, find it — it’s a brilliant piece of self-parody.

She also won the New York Film Critics Award, Golden Globe and Academy Award as Best Actress for Howard’s End.

Somebody came out of the closet this week on Army Wives.

OK, it’s not who you think it is — no matter who you think it is. The character was new this week and, unfortunately, Renée O’Connor didn’t play her. But we’ll get to that in a bit. First, let’s look at the closets our other characters went into.

Closet No. 1 — the one like on Grey’s Anatomy where sex happens

Remember last week, when Roland noticed how happy Denise was around Getti? This week, he tells her that he understands the temptation to get involved with a new person when your spouse is not meeting your needs. Denise is appalled.

But Roland, being the expert at denial, ignores Denise and advises her to walk away. Which means, of course, that Denise ends up walking right into Getti’s arms after a particularly tense moment in the ER. Getti goes into a medical supply closet; Denise follows. Getti kisses Denise; Denise kisses back. So little chemistry, so much tension.

Set your DVR — all day today, Lifetime pays tribute to Estelle Getty with a Golden Girls marathon from noon to 5 p.m. ET, starting with the series pilot. The final episode, airing at 4:30 ET, is the one voted by viewers as their favorite Sophia Petrillo episode. Getty died Tuesday, just three days before her 85th birthday.

Getty and the Girls have been in my bedchamber more than any other woman — and that’s a good thing. For years, The Golden Girls was on opposite the 10 o’clock news and I usually chose laughter as the best way to end my day. At 4’11, Sophia, with her ever-present purse, didn’t cut an imposing figure like her on-screen daughter, Dorothy (Bea Arthur), but she usually won the war of words, no matter which Girl she faced.

Many lovely tributes have been published, including one by our own Dorothy Snarker. Rather than review what others have said, let’s just have a laugh or sing a song. Wait, wrong show. Here are some of my favorite Sophia zingers, courtesy of IMDb.com.

Dorothy: You couldn’t sleep either, huh?
Sophia: No, I’m sleeping so good I thought I’d come try it in the sink.

Funny how time flies when you’re building a good bar. And even though Roxie just hired a contractor last week, this week’s episode of Army Wives revolved around the grand opening of the rebuilt Hump Bar.

I’m going to assume that more than a week has gone by in TV time, because I’d be disoriented otherwise. However, Trevor is just now getting in trouble for losing his cool in his TV interview, so we can’t be too far down the road. Why am I trying to be logical? In any case, Michael’s “punishment” for Trevor’s outburst is to take him off the interview circuit. And, when the doctor OKs it, he is to rejoin his unit in Iraq. Trevor is thrilled. Roxie is not. Roxie thinks Trevor is putting his career over family; Trevor thinks she has forgotten that she married a soldier. Hmm, maybe they should have talked a little more during the four days they knew each other before they got married.

Meanwhile, over at the Holden house, another fight is brewing — this one is over whether or not the family should go to the opening of the bar. Michael refuses, since Amanda was killed there. Claudia Joy thinks that they should support Roxie, difficult though it may be. C.J. even helps Roxie by working on the flowers with Denise. Finally, these two are on screen together again. I understand why the writers keep them apart — they have more chemistry than any of the married couples.

Let's talk about Katherine Heigl. After all, everyone else is.

Unless you've been in seclusion, you're probably familiar with the Katherine Heigl brouhaha. (Isn't brouhaha a great word?) Heigl withdrew her name from Emmy consideration — even though we'll never know if she was in consideration in the first place — saying that she just didn't have any Emmy-worthy material on Grey’s Anatomy last season. Let me pause here to give you some wisdom that you can carry with you the rest of your life: never, ever piss off a writer. We've got words; we know how to use 'em.

The interwebs have been ablaze with talk that Grey’s showrunner/writer Shonda Rhimes has decided to kill off Heigl’s character, Izzie, as a result of Heigl’s comment. At TCA last week, Rhimes said that she was surprised at Heigl’s remarks, but not insulted, and that they have a great story planned for Izzie. (I just bet they do.)