Hornito's blog

It looks like I’m going to have to tell my girlfriend to make some room on the DVR queue to allow for some Friday Night Lights action. Thanks to a tip from AfterEllen.com reader Jenna, I get to look at pictures of Stephanie Hunt for the rest of the day.

Hunt plays the role of Devin, a cute rock n’ roll bass-playing lesbian who is living outside of the closet in their small, conservative town of Dillon, TX. On this week’s episode, she convinces her friend Julie (Aimee Teegarden) to accompany her to the town’s gay bar.

There was some major flirtation taking place and (gasp) some proper representation of what real lesbians look like!

I swear, I could’ve partied with those girls on a trip to Wellesley back in the day (those girls really knew how to throw a party, let me tell you)!

There are many reasons to purchase Rachael Cantu's latest album, Far and Wide, and I'd be lying if I said one of the reasons isn't because she is absolutely adorable. Fortunately, she's more than just a pretty face. Her singer/songwriter capabilities have taken her on tour with Tegan and Sara, Ben Lee and most recently with blues legend B.B. King. Her cover of Ra Ra Riot's "Can You Tell" makes me want to crawl inside her pant pocket and curl into a little ball forever.

Here's what else is new today:

Kid Sister — Ultraviolet (Downtown/Fool's Gold)

This girl has got some serious swagger and a tongue so sharp it could cut diamonds. The debut album is bursting with samples that make me reminiscent of my high school dances (because I'm old like that). She's got some support from Cee Lo Green, Kanye, Estelle and DJ Gant Man. Sure, she's sexy, but she's also wicked smart and has a quick wit that could rival most of the male MCs out on the scene right now. I challenge you to listen to "Switch" and not bounce around in your seat. This is Chicago house music at its finest. Stream it in its entirety over at Spinner.com today.

Lady Gaga debuted a brand spankin' new video out for her single "Bad Romance" this week, and I'm not over-exaggerating when I say it's like throwing a Matthew Barney film into a blender with Britney Spears, Hype Williams, True Blood, pyrotechnics, Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" video and they gayest man you know. Obviously this equals crazy fa-bu-lous.

Truth be told, I still don't understand exactly what's going on in the video but I'm a little slow. Let's try to break it down.

Obviously the next big fashion trend comes from the costume designers for Where The Wild Things Are.

For some reason, when her hair has taken on the color of when my Nanny used to dye her hair herself, it seems as though she has dipped a bit too much into the Robitussin container. Her eyes bug out, the women around her grab her out of a bathtub and try to force a drink down her throat.

This week is chock-full of great new releases that I am amped up about. These releases all tend to have a similar autumnal vibe that makes me either want to play in the leaves or relax in a chair while sipping some apple cinnamon spice tea and doing the crosswords. (OMG how stereotypical did I just get!) Let’s begin, shall we?

Essie Jain — The Inbetween (The Leaf Label)

This is a North American reissue and I’m thankful they decided to put it back out there because otherwise I never would’ve known of the sweet sounds of Essie Jain. Her throaty voice sits atop piano, cello, violin and horns. You almost can’t go wrong with that combo. She recorded a live session over at Daytrotter this Sunday so be on the lookout for free downloads soon.

Forget about Tila Tequila, Flava Flav, Bret Michaels and all those other psuedo-celebs who have used television to find love — there’s a couple of reality TV stars who actually did find love and they want to show it to the world. Why should you care? Well, my dears, because you and I have probably asked for it: It’s a lesbian reality star couple.

The psuedo-celesbian couple du jour are Lisa Rizzo and Brooke LaBarbera, who took to their joint Twitter account to hint at the new show for several weeks. The latest:

For those of you who actually stuck around for season 2 of A Shot at Love, you might remember Lisa. Personally, I couldn’t get over the fact that Dani wasn’t picked during the first season so I boycotted everything Tila-related (except for actual tequila). From the fan videos I’ve seen of her, and the video footage she’s shot on YouTube, she seems like an incredibly down-to-earth practical joker from Jersey.

Heavenly Creatures was the first queer movie I had ever seen that I was absolutely intrigued by. I’m fairly certain I wore out my remote’s rewind and play buttons just to keep watching Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey kiss each other passionately. Director Peter Jackson did such a remarkable job of combining both fantasy and reality it’s hard to believe the 1994 film was based on a true story.

No longer able to hide her past Anne Perry’s life is being brought to the screen again, this time in documentary form. Dana Linkiwicz's Anne Perry — Interiors has started making its festival debut and is described as "the fascinating story about a woman who lived with a horrific secret until it was brought to the big screen through Jackson’s work." (Thanks to AE reader Anna for the tip!)

This secret, if you haven't seen the film, is that she helped kill her best friend's mother.

It’s been a long time since I saw my last episode of 90210 and boy, has a lot happened. Of course, if you are like me and tuned in just to see Samantha Ronson, it was a gigantic let-down.

Let’s see if I can give you a breakdown of what transpired so you’ve got some context. Navid and Adriana broke up. Adriana tries to get Navid back with a lame song and strum of the guitar. He says hell no.

It took 20 minutes for Silver to get on my screen — which is way too long, CW, you hear me?

Liam is a surfer now and has surfer friends and they all say "dude" way too much. The girl surfer invites them all to some Hollywood party that everyone else seems to have been invited to as well.

So much great new music is out today. Let's get into it!!

Kate Earl — Kate Earl (Universal Republic)

Kate Earl has a great R&B, pop-reggaeton sound and an interesting background. She grew up in Alaska, the daughter of a Dutch/Welsh father and Filipino motherl and would sing in her parents' gas station as a child (she's already cooler than Jewel in my book).

When she could, she finally flew out to L.A. and started making a name for herself. Now she's friends with the boys in Maroon 5 and currently touring the country with them. (Oh, and she's totally hot. What is it about aggressive bangs and the ability to play harmonica that I find so attractive?) You can stream her entire album at her website.

Leave it to a bunch of soccer moms in New Jersey to get fed up with watching their kids get all the glory of kicking some balls. New York Times sports columnist Harvey Araton’s book, Alive and Kicking: When Soccer Moms Take the Field and Change Their Lives Forever (2007) chronicled the lives of these women and now soccer superstar (and total hottie) Mia Hamm will be producing the film version.

The book centers on a New Jersey suburb where the mothers of young soccer players struggle with their involvement in the game. A description of the book notes:

The women of Montclair were mostly of that pre-Title IX generation, and many of them had never played competitive sports in their lives. In Alive and Kicking, Harvey Araton follows these women through their turbulent first two seasons. He turns his keen sportswriter's eye onto the battles, both on the field and in the psyche, that these women wage as they try to play a sport without compromising their values.

Happy New Music Tuesday — or should I say, “Happy Sainthood Day." Sure, a few of you care about what else is happening in the world of new releases (myself included), but I’d be willing to bet that most of you just can’t wait to get your paws on a copy of the latest Tegan and Sara jams.

It’s not just you, it’s the Twitterverse too — #Sainthood has become one of the top ten trending topics on Twitter today. The Quin sisters should be very proud.

Amanda Jenssen — Amanda Jenssen (Sony BMG)

Thanks to AfterEllen.com reader AmarulaTree, I can treat my ears to the second release from the Swedish Idol runner-up. Not only is she eye candy, she’s also got a great sound. Check out the title track “Happyland."

Since my very first post on AfterEllen.com, I revealed my love for Karen O and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Normally I wouldn’t be pushing an “iTunes Originals” album, but today I will make an exception for the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack, simply because I would listen to Karen O read the list of ingredients on the back of an OxyClean bottle.

(While you’re on iTunes, make sure you also download the free Ellen Page/Drew Barrymore Celebrity Playlist podcast.)

Here's what else is new today:

Florence & the Machine — Lungs (Universal Island Records)

A woman after my own heart, Florence comes up with her best work while she’s either drinking or hungover (more so the former for me). This album, filled with love, pain and fantasy won the 2009 British Critic’s Choice Award. For those who enjoy being taken on a musical journey filled with harps, choirs, darkness and percussion, this might be the album of the year.

The other day, I was perusing the iTunes homepage when I spotted a celebrity playlist unlike the rest. Usually, there is only one MC narrating their ultimate mixtape but this time there were two. Not just any two — it was Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page who had put one together, together.

Listening to their banter back and forth gave me the giggles and darn it if I didn’t turn red and make my mind wander to some amazing far off places.

The point of the celebrity playlist is to basically show the world what terrible or incredible music taste a certain celeb has. At one point, Drew says, “Ellen’s got great taste and we share a lot in common and yet I feel like I’m always being turned on to new things by her." Oh I bet! I bet you get turned on by new things coming from Ellen (says the devil on my shoulder picturing the two of them back at Drew’s place dressed in their Whip It costumes, throwing kitchen supplies off the counter and getting into a passionate make-out session where the cutting board normally lays).

Wow, that came out of nowhere.

When I first heard that Nicole Eggert would be joining the latest contestants on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club I was shocked. She was one of the hottest actresses from my junior high days. Back then, I often fantasized about being a guest on Charles in Charge for the very special “Jamie questions her sexuality” episode.

I didn’t follow Eggert over to Baywatch, but I do remember seeing commercials with her running down the beach in her little red bathing suit in slo mo. Those were good times.

Apparently, Nicole’s figure isn’t exactly what it used to be. Homegirl is still hot, but she’s just got more surface area of hotness. In a new FunnyorDie.com video, she truly won me over by being able to poke fun at herself. I’d still take a bite outta crime.

I think I'm going to have to start keeping a case of sugar free Red Bull next to my couch to keep myself awake for this cycle of America's Next Top Model. I think even Tyra is bored with these girls, she can't even muster up enough energy to keep up the crazy.

The latest episode started with NIcole finally facing the fact that she talks like a stoner. Harsh-faced Kara isn't a fan of Nicole because she's "awkward and slow and makes a fool of herself with every five words she says." Even her criticism is boring! The newly confident ptosis girl, Jennifer, said Nicole might be good but "she's not making it to the end." Little models are just like regular models — they're catty bitches!

Tyra Mail comes and says, "Now that you've learned to smize, let's see what you can do without your eyes."

The girls are psyched about going to work with the master of body movement, Benny Ninja. Since Ashley is a dancer, she felt really confident in her ability to do well with whatever challenge was going to be placed in front of them.

I know I’m not alone in developing crushes on musicians simply because their album has blown my mind, so I won’t get too embarrassed as I gush about the most recent object of my affection. Thao With The Get Down Stay Down will be releasing the follow-up to their critically acclaimed We Brave Bee Stings and All on Oct. 20.

All I have to say is, the first kiss the album gave to my ears put butterflies in my tummy and made me wonder if it was too early to call about our next date.

What I’ve found so utterly fantastic about the new disc, Know Better Learn Faster, is that it’s impossible to nail down an exact genre of music for this to fit into. Sure you can put baby in a corner with the other indie kids but it’s so much more than that.

The opening track, “The Clap” is, thankfully, not about an STD. It’s more of a Southern ho-down led by Coco Rosie warning you, “If this is how you want it, OK, OK." Hell yeah this is how I want it; bring it.

Well hello fans of America’s Next Top Model! Sorry for the late mini-cap, but I’ve been ill for the last week and the last thing I needed was a dose of Tyra mixed with my Robitussin. Could you imagine the dreams I would’ve had? Hells to the naw. Now that I’m feeling a bit better, I was finally able to catch up on the model drama.

We start with the models taken on a trip to the very glamorous aisles of Walmart to take part in the Cover Girl makeup challenge, judged by Nigel Barker and his Cover Girl model wife, Cristen Barker. The girls had to beat each other in a running race from makeup station to wardrobe station in order to make it to the next pick up.

It ended up being a knock-down drag-out fight between Erin and some of the other girls. She stopped at nothing to win, including hiding Ashley's photo, pulling Sundai's arm back and using the age-old defense of “I’m not here to make friends." In the end though, there could only be one winner, and it was Sundai!

In my version of a toned-down hell, the theme from Lambchop is playing non-stop over loud speakers, Ann Coulter is on the radio, Rush Limbaugh is on the TV and I’m sharing a house with my ex simply because we don’t have the funds to move out. Well, leave it up to the Fox Reality channel to make at least part of this hellacious scenario come true all for the sake of making a buck.

In what is sure to be one of the most uncomfortable television programs to watch in the history of TV, Fox is now casting a new program, Living with Your Ex. The clever people in the casting department are using the following statement to woo possible participants:

Has the divorce left you stranded together, yet living separate lives? If so, opportunity is knocking!

Max and Jenny stuck around the same place on "The L Word" post-break-up

Yes, the opportunity is knocking! Show everyone how bad of a communicator you are! See how quickly and easily all of your faults are brought out for everyone to judge you! Just wait until the pimply-faced high school dropout checking you out at the grocery store tells you he’s sorry about how quickly your ex was able to move on while you held your bottle of Jack Daniels and cried yourself to sleep at night. Do you hear that? That’s opportunity knocking.

With her sultry looks and pouty lips, it’s no wonder actress Rachel Weisz has been put on many lists of leading ladies we love. (Alliteration is fun!) In a recent interview with Vanity Fair Español she tells them that not only does she love being a lesbian icon — she would also love to take on a lesbian role.

From the cover of the glossy magazine, a half-dressed Weisz stares back at us with a come hither look so sexy I might just put a few Euros in the mail and subscribe. Beneath her beautiful photo, the captions read, “Rachel Weisz is sexy! Is excited! Is fun! Is the new Amenábar girl!” and then quotes her as saying, “I want to be a lesbian icon.”

While potty humor isn’t normally my “thang” I must admit to celebrating the entire collection of Family Guy episodes. Between gay baby Stewie’s plot to take over the world, Brian the dog’s drinking problem and Quagmire’s “Giggidy giggidy goochey goo” perviness, I can’t help but turn my brain off and laugh.

For reasons I can’t quite comprehend beyond a few dollar signs, the show’s creator, Seth McFarlane, has decided to create a spin-off show revolving around the Griffin family’s neighbor, Cleveland called The Cleveland Show.

In the clip from the pilot below, we find that saying goodbye is hard, but it’s so much easier for the husbands when there’s a woman on woman kiss shared by two of the animated wives.

Was it just me (or the alcohol I was drinking) or was Tyra’s crazy switch not flipped this week on America’s Next Top Model? I suppose there were enough highs and lows from all the other girls to make up for it.

Once again, the episode started with Bianca lamenting her placement in the bottom two. Everyone else, including me, thought Bianca should have gone home instead of the hotness that is Courtney. She vowed to make this week a better one.

Nicole couldn’t help but notice that Ashley and Lulu were turning into a bunch of haters — always ready to criticize everyone but themselves, which never bodes well for contestants on this show. What has boggled my mind for the past couple of episodes was how much it seemed like she has been hanging with those two.

When I was too old cool for Ramona Quimby’s antics, I moved on to the twin hotties from Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Yes, I did just call two fictional literary characters hot, let’s not make a big deal of this alright? It’s obvious the girls were supposed to be the fairest in all the land because when the books were turned into a TV show, they got Brittany and Cynthia Daniel to play the twins.

Hubba and hubba.

Now, much like all good things from my childhood, Sweet Valley High is being made into a movie. What makes this special news fit for someone way too old cool to pay attention to the Wakefield sisters in this day and age? Diablo Cody will be the one to write and produce the flick.

It’s been way too long since I’ve seen my girl Rosie Perez. Sure, she was on Lipstick Jungle but I wasn’t going to watch that unless it was Lipstick Lesbian Jungle — jump on this Logo!

Thankfully, she’ll soon be returning to the small screen as a guest star on Law & Order: SVU, which I watch regularly thanks to Mariska Hargitay. I can show you where to put those handcuffs, Detective Benson!

Rosie will always be a tough-acting Brooklyn goddess to me. Whenever I think of her, I either picture her dancing during the opening sequence of Do The Right Thing or the scene in White Men Can’t Jump where she’s giving Woody Harrelson’s character, Billy, the smackdown when he says Jeopardy isn’t going to call her:

Just to warn you, I'm all torn up inside about this week's episode of America's Next Top Model. I'm going to try to keep my composure during the recap but I cannot be held responsible for the venom I have in my heart.

We pick up where we left off: The girls piled into a limo back home and a few of them discussed where they may have gone wrong. Bianca vows to keep her mouth shut and not allow her disappointment or irritability show to the judges.

The following morning, the ladies took a special trip to Wilhelmina Modeling Agency, one of the biggest and best and they don't care if you're short or ugly, you just have to have personality. Nigel gave the aspiring models the opportunity to meet with Shawn Patterson, the president of Wilhelmina. This bundle of sunshine warned the girls that being a petite model is even harder to break into than it is for the tall drinks of water.

Nigel and Shawn gave each of the girls some one-on-one interview time and it started off rather rough. Lulu made the mistake of telling them she doesn't pay attention to names of photographers and couldn't name one (even with Nigel right in front of her face).

America’s Next Top Model is back ya’all! I’m so pumped for Mr. Jay, Ms. J, Nigel and whoever else they’ve got coming to sit in as guest judge. For those of you wondering what happened to Paulina Porizkova, she got the ax on her birthday in true Tyra fashion. Ice cold. Mmhmm, Tyra girl is back for another season of self-aggrandizing, putting girls in their place and teaching the world to smile with their eyes.

This season, there’s a twist — oh how I love twists! The aspiring models in this cycle are all 5’7” and under. As Tyra’s voice-over tells us, “Fierce has many faces, and sizes.” Preach! As a woman who just barely hit the 5 feet mark, I appreciate what she’s doing for my people.

The petite ladies were ushered into a building and greeted by a man dressed in pink and gay as the day is long. Once inside, they were escorted into what appears to be a hotel room that will later be used for Mabel and Irv’s 50th Wedding Anniversary. The girls started to do what any normal reality show contestants would do — dance! That’s right, as soon as you get on camera, bump and grind my friends.

Love it or hate it, The Real L Word: Los Angeles is coming to a TV screen and lesbian bar near you. Even if you say you aren’t going to watch it, you probably will, “Look ma, there’s a lesbian on TV!”

So, we have to wonder — which real-life lesbians will Ilene Chaiken and her crew be choosing to portray our community out and proud on television?