 by Dorothy Snarker |
People of the world: Alien Spice comes in peaceSometimes my job is too easy. Really, it is. The jokes, they just write themselves. On days like this, it’s like I don’t even need to bother showing up. In fact, I’m going to grab a sandwich during this post. And while I’m out, I’ll have to pick up a thank-you card for Victoria Beckham for facilitating my mini-vacation.
OK, I’ve finished my sandwich. Has Posh finished screaming “Take me to your leader!” through the streets of Paris? No? Well, then I’ll pop out for dessert while she tells you about the brutal, bloody fight she had with Big Bird over who was wearing what to the Chanel show. As you can see, she hasn’t had a chance to clean up and is still clutching her war wounds. On the plus side, I think she won.
Space Spice and Koosh Ball
Spice come courtesy of Victoria’s photo shoot for her upcoming cover spread in Elle magazine. I’ll admit to being strangely fascinated by Posh, mostly
because I could never — not in a kabillion jillion years — look like
her. I couldn’t even wear her shoes. Though, judging from her recent blog post, neither can she. But at least she
is
And then there is her cleavage, which kind of scares the bejesus out of me. Also, I’m pretty sure it could kick my butt in a bar fight. I mean it, those girls are fierce. Plus, they seem to have a high tolerance for pain.
I guess what I like about Posh, while I don’t approve of her human-coat-rack figure, is that she seems to be in on the joke when it comes to herself. I mean, you can’t wear these kinds of outfits on a regular basis and not relish the campy diva fabulousness you’re projecting.
And while there is nothing even remotely lesbianish about Posh, her hair sometimes displays tendencies, as do her occasional “You’re looking very Shane today” clothing choices. Plus, she is friends with Sporty, and she might slip you Melanie Chisholm’s number if you ask nicely.
Submitted by on October 9, 2007 - 5:30pm. |
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Help her!
Fierce.
Despite the stick-thin figure and the ginormous flotation-device boobies, I have to admit that I love Victoria Beckham. I had such a huge crush on her when she was known to the world as Posh Spice, and I fell in love all over again during her coming-to-America special when she screamed, "Can you see my knickers?!" and called an American socialite whose hobby was making dolphin noises "fabulous." And, last but not least, she is FIERCE in every sense of the word.
"Out of the box is where I live." -Starbuck
LMAO
Despite the stick-thin figure and the ginormous flotation-device boobies, I have to admit that I love Victoria Beckham.
At this very moment I am still laughing my ass off and my wife is looking at me like I'm a loon. Well I do agree that she is too thin she still scares the crap out of me, even in the Spice Girl days. I was always fond of Mel C, whodda thought?! I like Victoria but I like her hubby better. I think he plays a mean game of football even outside of his prime and he has better fashion sense than his wife. Although it's kind of scary that they show up at premiers looking like the Bobbsey Twins.
"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."
ROTFL
Yes, the "ginormous floatation-device boobies" got me too LOL.
*is still silently shaking with repressed laughter*
Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.
Brilliant blog, brilliant comments - does the world get any better at a time like this?
Snarktastic!
"In the event of the plane
"In the event of the plane having to make an emergency landing on water, please grab the nearest Victoria Beckham to you."
...thank you, I'll be here all night.
"Out of the box is where I live." -Starbuck
Now THAT's one for the aeroplane safety guide...
"In the event of extreme turbulence, please place your head between your knees, place your own oxygen mask on first before attending to those around you. Lastly, in the unlikely event of an emergency water landing, please grab the closest pair of boobs to where you are sitting..."
... Sounds like my kind of plane!
Haha, that's totally what I
Haha, that's totally what I think of when I see her! And I liked Mel C, too, but only really after she put out her first solo CD, which was fantastic.
"Out of the box is where I live." -Starbuck
Solo Career
I did like her as a Spice Girl, she had the best voice out of all of them, I think. I love her solo stuff. I can't believe how huge she is in Europe..well I can but she's definitely has had the best career outside of the Spice Girls. I'm happy for her. I love the duet she has with Bryan Adams, it's on a couple of our mix CD's we made.
"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."
oooh love the vest!gimme
oooh love the vest!
gimme gimme gimme.. gimme more!
ok lame britney joke.
lmao!
She's fabulous!
Poshy Posh Posh
Man I use to love the Spice Girls. Victoria was/is very beautiful, but I can already tell what her corpse will look like, and it's sad that it's her current state. I do admire her, because she's strong enough to tell people to "Bugger off" even when they make accusations against her on anything of her life. She's always maintained some dignity in that. Here's to you Victoria Beckham. Guys, I don't think she feeds herself anyways, looking at her breasticles, it's more like they are the well fed ones.
"No one in this world is a virgin, the world screws us all!"
Someone needs to give the order, now!
Before she destroys the world!!!
"Posh! Klaatu barada nikto!"
OK, this is just freaky. I
OK, this is just freaky. I just spent the entire weekend rekindling my Spice Girls obsession from 10 years ago and falling back in love with Posh (I even downloaded Spice World and may have been guilty of replaying some of her scenes just because of that delicious accent) and now there's a blog post about her. But yes, add me to the love train. I was so very much in love with her in her Posh Spice days, back when I didn't even know that all that wide-eyed staring I was doing was called "swooning". She looked gorgeous with the shoulder-length brown hair. I'm not really digging this blonde do, which makes me kinda sad.
Still, it's great to see her featured here. And this was a hilarious post! "Space Spice" and "Koosh Ball Spice" had me giggling for a good two minutes.
Also, "she might slip you Melanie Chisholm’s number if you ask nicely." Are you implying what I think you're implying? Because if so, glad I'm not the only one who sees that. Heh.
I was relatively obsessed
Shoes like that...
fashion rock star!
Bah
She's such a disgrace.
Becks would have been better off staying clear of her. She's turned his football skills into being famous for just being them. She has no talent, her solo career was a farce, she's only in the limelight for being his wife, not she's trying to make it again by falling back on the Spice Girls. Bah.
She's barely there! I mean, I don't like my women big but no one likes a stick either!! Yuck.
10 years ago, when I was 13
10 years ago, when I was 13 (geeze I'm getting old) I had the hugest crush on all the Spice Girls. Now, they mostly just scare me. Especially my girl Vicky here...
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http://lickfangurlblog.blogspot.com/
yeah i cant lie
i loves mah posh!
i love melanie c better tho. ahahaha!
on a final note, posh does look smokin' hot in that last piccle. ^_~
Hot Spice. Mad as a teapot.
Hot Spice. Mad as a teapot. Brilliant.
Also, I’m pretty sure it
Also, I’m pretty sure it could kick my butt in a bar fight.
Damn right. She'd only have to bob slightly and she'd leave you with a black eye. >_>
plus this just really reminds me...-