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Gwyneth Paltrow's "W" cover: Apparently the W stands for 'Why?'What is up with all these stars choosing truly tragic looks for their big comebacks? First Lauryn Hill, now Gwyneth Paltrow. Her cover photo for the new issue of W made me truly thankful for headline writers. Seriously, if it hadn't said “Gwyneth,” I would have had no idea. None.
Do the editors of W have some sort of secret (well, now, not-so-secret) grudge against Gwynnie? Perhaps the publisher had money on Saving Private Ryan to win best picture in 1998 and lost a bundle when Shakespeare in Love snuck in to steal the Oscar. Really, it’s the only explanation I can think of for making Blythe Danner’s daughter look like an unholy mash-up of bushy-eyebrowed Sienna Miller, passed-out Lindsay Lohan and a Communist-era East German transsexual.
And if you thought that was weird, wait until you see the inside photos (after the jump).
A rat, a sippy cup and a wan blonde. It’s like a bad nightmare Bette Porter had after watching too many Ingmar Bergman films. Next, at first I thought this Cat on a Hot Tin Roof–inspired scene was kinda hot (especially since she seems to be portraying Brick instead of Maggie), but then I spotted the metallic mouse ears. Or are they spoons? Seriously, what the hell?
This next shot looks like it was taken for some twisted girls-with-canes-and thigh-highs fetish site. However, I refuse to Google to verify whether such sites exist. I’ll do anything for blog, but I won’t do that.
And finally, for a big splashy cover spread meant to herald her return, why on earth would Gwyneth pose like a dead person? Unless it’s meant as a refreshingly honest visual metaphor for the state of her career. In which case, very clever. Carry on.
Submitted by on August 10, 2007 - 9:35am. |
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As much as I think she's a
"and a communist-era East
Shaking My Head
ahm...strange
ok, these are really strange, weird pictures. Dislike the rat and I prefer the looks of dead Gwyneth. And was it any particular GDR/Eastgerman transsexual you were alluding to? I thought they looked more, um, gray...
Anyway: What I would find much more interesting is the article about Jodie Foster's Unstoppable Career that might even include pictures as well?
Creepy
Is that a Cher homage on the cover?
These pictures look like a mash-up between D&G and Marc Jacobs ads, and the ideas behind them are actually really interesting. The problem, though, is that Gwyneth Paltrow is such a bland and dull individual and thus doesn't fit into kooky, slightly disturbing photography like this.
"Out of the box is where I live." -Starbuck
Owww, that was even better then what I said.
You’re right, I’ll take interesting over ‘look pretty and stare at the camera’ any day. On its own, those pictures look like they have some pretty interesting concept behind them, problem is, Gwyneth is just so…blah.
And is it me or is she giving of some strange ‘should be behind an acoustic gaiter at Woodstock’ type vibe with that…look.
oddly sexy..
I never was a big Gwynneth-th fan (always feel like I’m lisping when I say that name), too meek and whimpery for my tastes. So I am rather pleased she did something totally different. Swerving off that rain swept boring road to drive through a little puddle. Just to make a tiny, muddy splash. I like that.;) And I have to say, I like her look in a couple of the shots. No comparison to poor clown lady. That was just saaaadd.
WTF???
Um…weird. Maybe their road testing some new artsy photographer or something? But really, what’s with the cane and the crutches and the dead poses and the white drawstring cloths, some sort of strange asylum/hospital/crack den theme?
Never liked her much, her mother on the other hand, it’s a good bet that she’s probably at least 30 years older then me, but seriously, she’s not bad for an old chook...so to speak (and comes across as totally lovely to boot). ^_^
WTH
What the hell were these people from W mag thinking?! And why there seem to be some sort of sexual aura (a bad, wrong, pathological, weird kinky aura, that is) in the last two pictures? Ew. Just... ew.
Always loving your comments, though, Ms.Dorothy Snarker. :)
Eyebrows... and not even
HAHAHA!
you know what?
you gotta give her some points for looking different now.
I mean, she's got an Oscar and all, but she's always the same girl with those big long yellow hair with no cut at all in every movie she make.
SPOON!!!
About the crutch pic- I don't think that is what the person who suggested "spooning with Gwyneth" meant.
I’ll do anything for blog, but I won’t do that.
Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head."Bad jokes are us, ur me."
W pics usually freak me out
Anyone remember the Pitt-Jolie photo spread where the two of them were like a 50s family with perfect blond children?
Dairyqueen - I'm w/ you about the "Woman on Top" Jodie article. I hope it's online and I don't actually have to buy this crap.
As a side note - I always thought of Jodie as a "top", haha
So, what, we don't like a Gwyneth with eyebrows?
Yes!
I, for one, find big eyebrows on women very sexy. I would not even say that Gwyneth has big eyebrows here. They are merely more natural. I never understood why women were 'supposed to' pluck their eyebrows when natural eyebrows usually better fit the face. Just like I do not believe that women need to have diminuative noses or diminuative muscles to be attractive, I also do not believe that women need to have small, so-called feminine, lines for eyebrows to be sexy.
I have not noticed that 'bushy' eyebrows are back, but I look forward to seeing more natural eyebrows in the future.
The new look
"an unholy mash-up of bushy-eyebrowed Sienna Miller, passed-out Lindsay Lohan and a Communist-era East German transsexual"
Or Wendy James from Transvision Vamp. (http://static.flickr.com/20/70452459_1cb8528c6e_o.jpg) Either way...
The only time I've ever liked dear Gywnnie is when she stepped in at the very last second to replace Madonna for a British programme called Light Lunch (one of the presenters is a lesbian). She was highly personable and bloody good fun despite having a stinking cold.
Did you say Transvision Vamp?
Wow, you mentioning Transvision Vamp just totally made my day. Although I'm not sure I like what you've equated Wendy James with. ;)
As for the W pictures... I may be part of a minority, but I like the cover shot in a way, bushy eyebrows, pose and all. I like that she looks so unlike herself there. As for the other photos, philistine that I am, I think they're "weird".
I wonder if anyone else has seen the episode where Gwyneth was at the Ellen Degeneres Show when she was promoting her movie "Proof". I thought it was hilarious when Ellen was talking through a megaphone telling people they should watch the movie and Gwyneth was completely embarrassed.
Hmmm
Creepy
It doesn't even look like her.I admit Gwyneth can come off as blah at times. I think it's because we have people like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan all over the media and it makes her seem way too tame.
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."-Helen Keller
Gwyneth where art thou?
I think the pics are
The pics
The pics felt just wrong, the rat and sippy cups just don't mixed, don't they know the rat is grown enough to lick from the bowl.
Mmm...I have a hunch that she might think she's a Minnie Mouse incarnation.
I find that she looks like