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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media

Dorothy Snarker

by Dorothy Snarker

Lesbian hair makes a comeback (hey, stop snickering)

Ahhh, lesbian hair. That much-maligned subject of punch lines everywhere. Historically, gay women’s hairstyles haven’t always had the best reputation. And I’m not even going to mention the dreaded M-word. While I have no problem with business in the front, party in the back when it comes to your personal life, I refuse to accept it on your head. But I believe we’ve turned a corner here in the hair club for women. Why else would so many stars be rocking the lesbian hair of late?

I’m not just talking seventh-grade-gym-teacher hair either. I speak of all the chic, often cropped cuts the ladies of TV and film have been sporting everywhere. It’s gotten to the point that even seemingly straight stars have started suffering from lesbian twin syndrome. I’m dying for Women’s Murder Club and Bionic Woman to do a crossover episode so these two can scream: “Lesbian Twins activate! Form of — haircut!”

So with that, let’s examine, and of course rate, the trend of lesbian locks.

Mena Suvari: The American Beauty and Six Feet Under star’s short blonde crop almost begs you to rub it. Or, er, maybe that’s just me.

Lesbian Quotient: 9 (like a fuzzy Sinead O’Connor)

Mariska Hargitay: The Law & Order: Special Victims Unit star keeps it sensible and sleek.

Lesbian Quotient: 6 (bonus points for carrying her own groceries)

Laura Harris: The first time I saw her hair, I did a double take — it was that gay.

Lesbian Quotient: 10 (it’s a chic version of The Rosie)

Molly Price: Even Sarah Corvus took one look at that hair and asked if she was a lesbian.

Lesbian Quotient: 10 (that’s some bionically lesbian hair, people)

Alana De La Garza: The Law & Order A.D.A. lays down the law with her take-me-seriously hair.

Lesbian Quotient: 7 (case closed)

Kirsten Vangsness: The Criminal Minds sleuth is working Bettie Page bangs, pink streaks and hipster glasses.

Lesbian Quotient: 6 (for accessories alone)

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Since she is a Ghost Whisperer, you have to figure at least 10 percent of those ghosts are gay, right?

Lesbian Quotient: 2 (but just for the bandana)

Cote de Pablo: The NCIS star sports one of the all-time lesbian staples -- the ponytail.

Lesbian Quotient: 5 (we split this one 50-50 with sporty gals)

Selma Blair: The Hellboy and Cruel Intentions actress looked more the part earlier this year in those Gap ads.

Lesbian Quotient: 4 (sometimes a pixie cut is just a pixie cut)

Rumer Willis: The spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore gets extra credit for putting the moves on the spawn of Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet.

Lesbian Quotient: 8 (hands, hands!)

Kathryn Morris: I have no idea what’s going on with the Cold Case star’s hair this season and, to be honest, I don’t think we should claim it.

Lesbian Quotient: 1 (should it look like a mushroom?)

Victoria Beckham: Posh brunette or Posh blonde — these are the central questions of our time.

Lesbian Quotient: 3 (with a point for the cap)

Zac Efron: Oh, wait; he may not be in the right category.

Lesbian Quotient: 10 (Daniela Sea, your stunt double has arrived)

Jodie Foster: In The Brave One, the Oscar winner was working a haircut circa her Freaky Friday days.

Lesbian Quotient: No comment

Rockstar's picture

yeah

haha LOLLLL for the Zac Efron one!! i'm still laughing,,

don't forget the lovely PINK !!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

RedBeet's picture

ditto.

oh dear zach...even my younger sisters gave up their crushes on him bc he was even gay enough for them to notice.
blue's picture

o.0

hehe, Zac REALLY looks like Daniela Sea... only Daniela's a tad cuter ^^

I like Jodie's hair the best though... but then again, it's Jodie, how can you not like her, or her hair?
gypsywee's picture

Emma Thompson in Stranger Than Fiction

I know it's not really current, but has there ever been a dykier haricut? Love it (and her)!

Explorergal's picture

Wonder Twins....

OMG, you got me with that one!! HAHAHAHAHA

Where's the little monkey?

Sammie81p's picture

Haha

You know what is so hilarious?..I saw that pic of Zac E. on a different site earlier today, and I immediately thought of Daniela Sea. They seriously need to consider him as the post op Max.

Oh, and that hairstyle looks sooo much better on girls.

 

-SMP-

Hyperbole Cupid's picture

Your so right

When I first looked at the pics, I just went pass it as Daniela Sea.no need to look at that name right.That really is creepy
BrownEyedGirl's picture

hehe

Zak Efron and Daniella Sea. Now that its right in front of me i cant believe i never saw it before!!! Like one of those magic eye puzzles!!!

And thank god someone finally cut Mariska's hair. =D 

~I've been watching your world from afar, I've been trying to be where you are, I've been secretly falling apart...~

4sakenshadowxsoldierlette's picture

loved it!

i absolutely <3 jodi and other than that...i have no comment lol

~*~Alice: Thank god you're here we're totally outnumbered. Bette: What do you mean? Alice: Straight people. Bette: Oh, Jesus.~*~

BeecaBee's picture

Literally LOLing

Zac and Daniela could also be lesbian twins. Oh wait, right, right, Zac isnt a lesbian... The stunt double made me literally lol.

Just thinking about this blog has me cracking up and I will definitely make everyone I know read it. The points part was hysterical...

Pirategrrrl's picture

Right?!

 “Lesbian Twins activate! Form of — haircut!” - Hi-larious! and bless you!

Mariska Hargitay looks so much better with short hair, btw.

Emma Thompson has always kind of had a lesbian haircut ... even when it was long ... still kinda gay. That's probably why I like her so much.

You know who else has historically lesbian hair? Our former first lady/possible future president - Hillary Clinton

 

And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges....

BeecaBee's picture

Sooo Right

Hilary totally has what looks like a lesbian wig, lol. She should be much more supportive of the gay community, she rocks our styles all the time!

Pardon me Senator, you arent completely supporting gay marriage, but you fully support gay hair?

Pirategrrrl's picture

Totally ...

And it doesn't end with her hair, either. Her "power suits" are very lesbionic ... come to think of it .... so are Condoleezza Rice's!!! 

 

And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges....

Julia G.'s picture

Daniela Sea = Zac Effron

Jodie --> Lesbian Quotient: No comment.

That's exactly what I was thinking, so it made me laugh for about ten minutes :P

And it actually scares me how much Zac Effron looks like Daniela Sea. The first time I saw him on TV I immediately thought that. When he was just a little younger they looked even more bizarrely alike. Someone should ask her what she thinks about that :P

========

"The opposite of church is sperm!" - Sarah P. - The Lo-Down

notshane's picture

Posh!@#$%^, Jodie..Hmmmm..., Emma...sigh

You cannot be serious! 'Posh' should never be anywhere near the vicinity of 'lesbian' EVER! She's one fake robot, and I would never want to claim her for anything remotely lesbian!

Now Jodie...that's a whole different kettle of fish :) That pic from Brave One?

Lesbian Quotient: off the charts!

Gypsywee: that's a lovely shot of Emma. Another film she was in, where I loved her hair: The Winter Guest. She did the tousled just-out-of-bed look to perfection! An absolutely beautiful gem of a film. Scripted by the mum of Kiera Knightley, co-starring Emma's real Mum, who is actress, Phyllida Law. Set in the bracing landscape of Scotland.

Pirategrrrl's picture

The Winter Guest ...

Is indeed brilliant.  I love it when the Thompson family gets together for a movie. Where's Sophie when you need her? ... :)

btw - I apologize for being so picture happy today ... 

And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges....

gypsywee's picture

There's no such thing as too many pictures!

I think I could go on all day with lesbianish-Emma. I'll try to stop after these two.

From her Wit days (she kind of looks like an angry/concerned Buddhist nun):

emma

And just hanging out (not sure what that t-shirt is all about?):

emma

Pirategrrrl's picture

Ahhhh ... yeah.

We *really* need to start our visual sanctuary. Really.  

 

And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges....

gypsywee's picture

Go for it!

I'd just squander the "new forum topic" points on unnecessary edits. LOL

I'm already collecting pics...

gypsywee's picture

Done :-)

Our sanctuary has been created!
gypsywee's picture

Re: "tousled just-out-of-bed-look"

Hey notshane,

You mean like this (OK, now I'm really done posting pics of Emma):

emma in bed

Pirategrrrl's picture

*wipes away drool*

HOT. 

 

And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges....

Mara's picture

Great post!

Love the comments.

I'm actually thinking of growing out my hair just a leetle bit. I somehow always get  haircuts that make me look like a boy - and mostly it's my mom who cuts my hair!

Oh, I agree on Emma Thompson! (She also shaved off her hair for "Wit" (for real!) in which she plays someone dying of cancer.)

_ _ _ _ _

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (Dr. Seuss)

Pyewacket's picture

Nip/Tuck.

I soon expect to read in the trades that the creator of N/T has signed Zach Efron and Daniela Sea to a story arc in which these 2 look-a-likes play lesbian twin sisters or gay twin brothers who Christian takes to bed!  lol

I love this column...lol...had me laughing harder and harder as I scrolled down.  Priceless.

 

 

notshane's picture

Posh!@#$%^, Jodie..Hmmmm..., Emma...sigh

You cannot be serious! 'Posh' should never be anywhere near the vicinity of 'lesbian' EVER! She's one fake robot, and I would never want to claim her for anything remotely lesbian!

Now Jodie...that's a whole different kettle of fish :) That pic from Brave One?

Lesbian Quotient: off the charts!

Gypsywee: that's a lovely shot of Emma. Another film she was in, where I loved her hair: The Winter Guest. She did the tousled just-out-of-bed look to perfection! An absolutely beautiful gem of a film. Scripted by the mum of Kiera Knightley, co-starring Emma's real Mum, who is actress, Phyllida Law. Set in the bracing landscape of Scotland.

tarrabbit's picture

oh, ms. snarker

when mainstream adopts the alternative
then stereotypes can crumble
freeing society of their judgments.

praise the gay/gay friendly hairstylists taking over hollywood.

BetweenThaLines's picture

I really like all of the

I really like all of the haircuts, especially Zac Efron's haha! That ones just funny:p But I don't like Mena's haircut. I like short hair, but not really short. And I don't think it really suits her face.. but that's just my opinion. I really would like to have cool lesbian hair, but I'm so chicken to cut it short:p But I just discovered that a ponytail is lesbian too, so I guess I do have lesbian hair LOL.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=kisshester

NinaSunshineGirl's picture

That's exactly what I was

That's exactly what I was thinking, Hes: it was great to discover that my ponytail counts as 'lesbian hair', I'd always just thought it was 'too chicken to cut it shorter' hair!

Mara's picture

Hairy matters

It's great to see how different women have different tastes :)

Mena never did it for me, but this totally caught my eye:

Oh well... :) 

A ponytail is lesbian? Then most of the female soccerplayers... *lol*

_ _ _ _ _

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (Dr. Seuss)

cappuccinogirlie's picture

psychic

I was so thinking that about the Jodie haircut, and then there you went with the 'no comment'. Heee. 

Sadly missing from the list are French hotties Audrey Tautou and Emmanuelle Beart's recent short 'dos'.


DKHO's picture

And here's your proto-lezbo hair ...

I give you Gertrude!

 

gypsywee's picture

She was "gay every day"

You've got to love Gertrude!

They were regular in being gay, they learned little things that are things in being gay, they learned many little things that are things in being gay, they were gay every day, they were regular, they were gay, they were gay the same length of time every day, they were gay, they were quite regularly gay.

-G.S. from “Miss Furr and Miss Skeene"

Starshone's picture

I am in a library! I should

I am in a library! I should not be laughing out loud at the inclusion of Zac Efron on this post. That said, I shouldn't be on AfterEllen.com in a library at all, but go figure.
notshane's picture

Gypsyweeeee.......:)

Oh thanks so much for that beautiful pic from The Winter Guest! I googled, but couldn't find it.

Another memory I have from that film is of her in the bath...uh hmmm...

OK, I confess I got somewhat stuck on that image....so I promptly went out to my local video store and found a tape of it :) And they kindly sold it to me for $2!

Tonight I'm curling up on my couch, hot water bottle on my lap, and salivating over her!

Alright, for a bonus, a tidbit from an article about Emma & her mother when this film came out, in the New York Times:

Both Ms. Law and Ms. Thompson swore up and down that the bickering that characterized the relationship between Elspeth and Frances had not come from their own experience. Ms. Law laughed, for instance, when recalling her decidedly un-Elspethian reaction when Emma, on a whim, shaved her head while a student at Oxford.

''I would be able to show you a photograph of it, but it's in Scotland,'' she said apologetically. ''She looked like Nefertiti. Some people have got funny-shaped heads, but hers is rather a good shape. She wore a little woolly hat and little pebble specs and dungarees. It was a wonderful sight. If we misbehaved, she'd say, 'If you're not good, I'll take my hat off.' ''

hahahaha

 

gypsywee's picture

Thank Ms. Snarker :-)

I must confess, the pic of Emma in bed is actually from the book, Women Before 10 AM. I first saw it on Dorothy Snarker's blog. It's important to give credit where credit is due!

And special thanks to my blog pal Pirategrrrl for the great Winter Guest movie pic!

maylith's picture

Zac

Zac and Daniela are just scary when compared side by side. The idea that Zac should be the post op Max is brilliant....the acting would be so much better!

 

 

trent bowie's picture

Hey, you forgot somebody...

Renee O'Connor had a cute short haircut in the last three seasons of Xena. It made her look so adorable.

v's picture

maybe not 100% by choice but..

i know this was for a role.. but any excuse to gratuitously post pics of natalie portman..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she rocks the shaved hair look..

.Krys.'s picture

Majorly!

She definatly rocks the shaved hair look.

*sigh* I love her. <3

 

Follow me down the streams of sweat on your body..

♀♀

Lindsay (Scout)'s picture

I saw in a trailer for

I saw in a trailer for Severance and I did a double take on Laura Harris also. LOL at the Zac Effron thing.
Girly's picture

Rihanna

I've seen a lot of people wearing several versions of her cut. It's the "in" thing here.

~

When we saw The Brave One poster, my friend said Jodie Foster would make a handsome man. I wanted to say 'no, she's a beautiful lesbian'. ;p

 

 

Yoo_Hoo13's picture

Wow....

I saw Mena Suvari with that haircut a few months ago...and thought...WOW!  She looks GOOD.  Like really good.  Brittney needs a few pointers on how to pull of a shaved head.

 

tee hee...Zac Efron:)

ice cream's picture

Zac Efron!

ur comment about him and Daniela Sea made me rofl but I still like him, he's a pretty boy.

and Lily Rush's (Kathryn Morris) hair is a little weird I must admit. My ex roomie told me she couldn't watch the show because the hair distracted her way too much, they should change her look.

I kinda like Victoria's hair, although I like that look better on Rhianna.

Nice post!

"i don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every minute of it"

locachica's picture

How can we forget Renee Zellweger?

She showed up at The Bee Movie premier with a brand new 'do. I'm trying to add a picture but failing miserably, so I'll have to settle for the link.

 

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20071029/i/r3495295861.jpg

jnsferris's picture

The ponytail?

Okay, then every cheerleader (athlete/women who didn't have time to wash her hair that day) is lesbian. An intriguing idea, but not the reality I'm sure!

Loved the part about the Daniela stunt double, though. Post-op Max! OT, but I am wondering what they're gong to do about his voice since it would lower if he was actually transitioning and Daniella Shea has the girliest voice ever!

bigbutch75451's picture

I happen to be a fan of Miss

I happen to be a fan of Miss Mena's cut, but that may be because I have the same one. :)
eugenie's picture

...and it's just as ugly now as it was then...

though the Bettie Page in pink is kind of cute... And, I have to admit, I've worn a pony tail, if I'm, say, too sick to wash my hair...

Isn't it time to get over this?

EllenM's picture

Hey, Garcia's Lesbian Quotient should be a "10".

I know that Kirsten Vangsness should count as an honorary lesbian just because she's so cool, but she doesn't need the honorary status---she's in on her own merit.

See her blog of October 17th

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/criminal_minds/blog2.php?id=12

TheLGirl26's picture

My hair looks like Mena's

My hair looks like Mena's hair except that it's a little bit longer and it's dark brown.

 

"Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"

the fallen 's picture

zac e's hair for les?!

rofl...but hey! when i first saw it..really..i think it does look better in women...no offense zac but your do really shouts...gay! its one of my hairstyles before...but he looks good on it still..but not much as having his hair shorter...nice blog!