If the name had not already been taken, the show Heroes should have been renamed Lost, because that’s how I feel after watching any given episode this season: Why are there more alternate futures than there are members of the Wu Tang Clan?
Why do characters on that show rotate in and out more frequently than bleached-blond bunnies rotate in and out of Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion? Why is uber-villain Sylar suddenly a good guy? Why is the fresh-faced cheerleader Claire suddenly evil? Why does Angela Petrelli have such a nice figure, even though everyone in the show seems to have sprung from her womb?
David Lynch must have been hired as a creative director, because nothing on that show makes sense anymore.
This is why I’m going to keep things simple. The one thing we can agree on is that having superpowers makes a woman just a tad bit sexier. (Wonder Woman, anyone?) However, superpowers come at a great cost, especially if you are an ordinary woman trying to date a woman with superpowers.
Here are some of the female characters on Heroes, and the pros and cons of dating each one based on a combination of their superpowers and temperament.
Claire Bennet (Hayden Panettiere)
Pros:
— Everyone has fantasized about the cheerleader. Yes, you too.
— If you save her, you save the world.
Cons:
— May get angry at you and purposely drive her car into a brick wall. She will walk away unharmed. You won’t.
— A father so overbearing that he makes Joe Jackson of the Jackson family seem like a lamb.
— Feels no sensation in her body, so you’ll know she’s faking it (she's of age in real life).
Evil-meter:
— Either Lucy Diamond before she met Amy Bradshaw in D.E.B.S. (evil-ish), or Lucy Diamond after she met Amy Bradshaw in D.E.B.S. (not so evil) — the answer depends on which alternate future you happen to find yourself. Hence, evil-meter inconclusive. (But either way Lucy Diamond is sexy, and who knows — you could be her Amy Bradshaw, and she will turn out nice.)
Dateability index:
— Decent, but watch out for random people who may break into her house during your alone time and attempt to cut her head open. That always puts a damper on things.
Angela Petrelli (Cristine Rose)
Pros:
— None.
Cons:
— Pillow talk may include her telling you that she is actually your mother.
— She will then tell you that she performed experiments on you as a child.
— But then she will stoke your face and tell you she loves you.
— However, she is secretly plotting to kill you.
Evil-meter:
— Somewhere between Dick Cheney and Voldemort.
Dateability index:
— Somewhere between Dick Cheney and Voldemort.
Maya Herrera (Dania Ramirez)
Pros:
— Generally good-hearted and kind.
— Hello? Do you see her picture?
— She has learned how to control her power, and if you are skilled in soothing her with soft words, you will most likely live.
Cons:
— I said “most likely.” On occasion, she gets especially distressed and bleeds black pus from her eyes, which causes anyone within a 100-foot radius of her to bleed black pus from their eyes and drop dead.
— If you do catch her during one of these rare but deadly episodes, the eyes of your corpse will end up looking uncannily similar those of that funny-looking guy in Limp Bizkit — the one who wore those freaky contact lenses. That’s going to be one awkward open-casket funeral.
Evil-meter:
— Lacks a criminal mind but can nevertheless cause an incredible amount of harm.
Dateability index:
— If she were a horse and you were a horse whisperer, it would be a match made in heaven. But she isn’t a horse. She is a gentle woman with a very un-gentle power. Enjoy it while it lasts. When people avert their eyes at your open-casket funeral, you’ll be dead, so you won’t care.
Tracy Strauss (Ali Larter)
Pros:
— Even though Niki/Jessica Sanders (the sister with the split personality) was killed off, Tracy Strauss has yet another identical triplet who is still alive. So even if Tracy Strauss meets her untimely demise, there is another sister, Barbara, who looks just like her, and you won’t be able to tell the difference if you move on to Barbara next. Nathan Petrelli doesn’t seem to mind, so why should you?
Cons:
— Has only recently discovered her power, which is freezing people to death when she gets upset.
— Looks just like her late sister Niki/Jessica, who was an internet stripper. — Someone may see you walking down the street with Tracy Strauss, point at you and say, “Hey, that chick is dating an internet stripper!”
Evil-meter:
— At this point in the season, she is more Nikki Sanders (nice) than Jessica Sanders (not nice). Are you confused yet?
Dateability index:
— Wear thermal underwear and Gore-Tex at all times and hope for the best.
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Tracy's the girl for me.
Tracy's the girl for me. I mean sure Claire's pretty awesome but I'm kind of getting sick of her. Angela is of absolutely no interest to me and while Maya is pretty her power creeps me out too much. And Ali Larter is pretty foxy, Tracy's power is cool too. And she can really work a power suit.
But you know what, if my pretty Elle Belle was still a constant character I'd snatch her up in a heartbeat. Sure she's damaged, emotionally unstable and a little psychotic but she has the coolest power in the universe and KBell is simply one of the most gorgeous ladies I've ever seen.
___//♫♪ let your girlfriend do what your boyfriend can't
Agreed!
I miss KBell like woah!! And for fun I put together this mini picspam for you...ENJOY!
And when's the Heroes/GG crossover episode?? ;)
***I have a sirius case of love sickness called Liuki-mia!***
Thanks for posting all
Thanks for posting all those awesome pictures! Ever since Veronica Mars I have loved Kristen Bell! When I learned she was going to be on heroes I was sooo happy, its just a shame she isn't on as regularly. I can't wait to watch her and hayden together.
YAY!
Glad you like 'em! I love the tension between Elle and Claire on Heroes....I wish KBell would be a more permanent cast member! Her power is totes kickass and her character is so fierce! Maybe we should start a petition! =P
***I have a sirius case of love sickness called Liuki-mia!***
Damn!
lol
I'm glad! That was, after all, their purpose ;)
***I have a sirius case of love sickness called Liuki-mia!***
they do look so into each
they do look so into each other... or maybe we just look into things too much, lol!!
Wowee!
Dude... their gay is totally showing. They must be taking lessons from the USWGT. ;-)
And I have to agree, I'd take KBell. Her character's hot and just a little bit crazy. Good times! :-)
Thanks
electricity girl would be the gf
i would have to say Kristin Bell would be the girl. even though she is not on the show anymore? Or is she cause i stopped watching mid into thrid season it started getting really stupid and annoying.
mind your business
"Tracy's power is cool"
Bit of an understatement :-)
I totally agree about Kristen Bell. I love the darkness of her character and she's seriously foxy.
Does anyone remember Eden McCain (Nora Zehetner)?
She was killed by Sylar, correction, she killed herself so Sylar couldn't get her power and ended up in a lake. Sylar pulled her through the glass of his cell. Her skill was Vocal persuasion. She had short black hair and was really hot.
They should bring her back because anyone can come back in Heroes, but after rotting in a lake for several years she'd be totally insane and become the most powerful heroes charater to date by controlling a horde of other villains.
"Pillow talk may include
"Pillow talk may include her telling you that she is actually your mother." ~ Or Sharon Osbourne. I'm not sure which is worse.
As for the rest of the ladies, I'd have to pick Niki/Jessica/Tracy (wasn't she also a Gina at some point??)
I'm all about Tracy
I liked Simone
From season 1. She didn't have any powers or anything, but she was all arty and stuff. Then they killed her. Now I just can't watch the show. It makes me too sad. RIP, hottie.
Simone Deveaux
Thank you SO much for bringing up the Simone Deveaux character. I was totally enamored with her, she is so gorgeous.
If I have to pick someone whose alive, I pick Dania Ramirez. I think she's HOT.
Do not judge, unless you want to be judged...
I hope she will be back :)
I hope she will be back :)
lmao
"Evil-meter: Somewhere between Dick Cheney and Voldemort." Hahahaha...Nice one! I'd pick the "not-nice" Jessica Sanders ;) Hands down
_____________________________________
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Kristen Bell
Is Elle Bishop not the hottest hero ever?!
She trumps all of the above by some serious superhuman forces.
Deffenitly
Deffenitly Tracy Strauss! hot right.
Ali Larter could come out in a burlap sack
and I'd still have to go with the crowd on this one. nikki/jessica/tracy...whoever she is, she's just plain sexy.
It's definitely Ali/Tracy
it's toss up between Maya and Tracy...
Daphne!
Too much hotness to decide!
From those listed, Maya. Yes she's worthless on the show but had they given her decent storylines she would have been just fine. From others with powers it's a tie between Elle and Hana and without powers a tie with Katie (the Irish chick with Peter) and Simone. Also both FBI agents were hot so...
Or I could just hang out with Hiro and have a blast looking at my look-a-like and teleport myself to somewhere nice and geek out.
Elle :( I miss you
niki..
i love ali larter. she is the reason i watched heroes in the first place, and i usually only watch her scenes. so yeahh, im for tracy. but all the women in heroes are very attractive.
she talks in the third person. so she can forget that she's me. :x
I LOVE Angela
But I'd be far too scared to date her. If Maya weren't so likely to ded me whenever she was under stress, I would totally elope with her.
Candice was pretty... pretty. I miss her. She had an awesome power. Ditto Eden. My favourite Heroes always die. Unsurprising, really, since characters are always dropping like flies on that show.
Can't I Just Pick Both =]
Since season one i have always loved Claire, but right now somehow sometimes (not saying all the time) she is kinda getting on my nerves ...
Right now i am so into Elle =D I mean, who doesn't like a hot sociopath who can shoot lightening from her hands xD
Anyway, I just want to picck both of them ... Sounds fair enough I think.
Angela Fer sure...lolz.
Angela Fer sure...lolz.
On a more serious note I'd choose *Tracy*
Tracy=hands down hottie
Claire Elle Sandwich
Seconded
Hell yes, I'd like an order of that too.
"No power in the 'verse can stop me." ~River Tam, "Firefly"
Me Three
my 2 cents
i guess its pretty much a toss up between elle and tracy...sure,if you piss them off youre more likely to either get electrocuted or frozen,but their hotness is worth the trouble..lol
im suprised that claires biological mom didnt make the cut...she puts hot in a whole new level...
and angela petrelli is scary...i dont know if i could live with the knowing that she was my mom..mostly because at one point or another her kids end up either bad or dead..
i love Ali Later, so
i love Ali Later, so yeah i choose tracy/nikki/jessica.. but from all of them i prefer jessica, bad girls are always sexier lol :P
well, all these girls are the reason that i still watch heroes.. it's so nonsense lately.
and yeah, you totally forgot Kristen Bell's character!! she can be really sexy!
Daphne!
Meh
She kind of reminds me of Chloe Sullivan from Smallville, only I think Allison Mack/Chloe are cuter and snarkier than Brea Grant/Daphne.
"No power in the 'verse can stop me." ~River Tam, "Firefly"
Meh
She kind of reminds me of Chloe Sullivan from Smallville, only I think Allison Mack/Chloe are cuter and snarkier than Brea Grant/Daphne.
"No power in the 'verse can stop me." ~River Tam, "Firefly"
Hmm..
Kate Bell (Elle) or Brea Grant (Daphnea) would be my choice. How did you leave them out?? Cristine Rose????
Also, Heroes is not hard to follow at all. Lost is hard to follow. Very hard to follow- Heroes is simple.
Anyways- this was fun. Thanks.
Lord.. that pic of Kate and Hayden together.. o_o
Dania.... errrr Maya....
Dania.... errrr Maya.... hands down.... We'd just never argue... she's just so hott lol
"
Don'tthreaten me with love, Baby. Let'sjustgo walking in the rain."-Billie Holiday
Monica!
If she's permanently off, I will CRY. That family -- Monica, her Nana, Micah, D. L. and of course Niki/Jessica -- are my favoritest of favorites. So, yeah, I'd pick Monica, one of the Niki-clones as second choice....
Actually, Nana's on my list too. Nichelle Nichols at any age!--
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always boom tomorrow.
--Susan Ivanova tells it like it is
Elle Bishop
I'd date them all..
But if I had to choose, it'd be Elle all the way!!! She's my favorite Hero and by far one of the sexiest girls on there!!!
Maya annoys the heck out of me, and so I'd have to say no to her, but I love everyone else and I too hope they bring back Monica!
A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~Leopold Stokowski
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space betw
In all seriousness, Angela
In all seriousness, Angela Petrelli. She can manipulate my future anytime, you know what I'm saying.
Or she could hook up with Claire Meade, and they could rule the world together.
Hayden
I'd sure pick Hayden Panettiere, because....
She's blonde, young and pretty *
*and plays the cheerleader
Me pervert *.*
Well first things first...
Those pics of "Elle" and "Claire" are OMG freaking hot...and yes their lesbian is showing and i want to see more of this on the show...but I digress.
So yah I would choose
for Monday nights, 
for tuesday nights 
on Wedsnedays
on Thursdays 
for fridays and
(you all remember agent audrey from season 1 when she was hunting sylar) on saturdays. I gotta rest on sundays you know.
CHARLIE!!
"ocasionally, i am callous and strange" -Will R
WHat about Charlie? Cutest thing ever... she would be my pick
Hhmmmm....
I'd choose Simone and Tracy.... they' re both sooo damn HOT!!! Even though I think Maya is also cute, I'd rather enjoying the company of TRAMONE!!!!