 by StuntDouble |
Lesbian Scientistics: AfterEllen.com Hot 100 EditionSo you've worked your way through the AfterEllen.com Hot 100 and you're feeling a little lightheaded and woozy, eh? Wading through all that hotness is enough to make anyone dizzy, but medically speaking you're probably just suffering from a lack of analysis. Don't worry — that's why your Lesbian Scientistics team is here. Have a seat and a glass of water. Take a few deep breaths, and we'll break down this year's Hot 100 for you. First, let's look at the logical relationships between all the hotness.
Lots of fictional lesbian couples made the list this year. To determine which couple is the hottest, we charted the average rating of the actresses who portrayed the characters. (Note: We couldn't possibly calculate the hotness of every pairing in the history of The L Word; the data has to be finite to be plottable! We went with the last couple standing.) Lowest score is best, just like in golf.
Finally, we've constructed the Hot 100 Bad-Ass Matrix. The matrix formula isn't based on bad-assness of the actual women, but the bad-assness of the characters they play. Some of us hypothesized that know-it-alls would be more bad-ass than self-deprecators. Others of us argued that fighting crime unarmed is more bad-ass than wielding a sword. Based on the following data, you'll have to make your own conclusions about whose bad-assness is hottest. (Click for larger size.)
One final note: You'll notice we left the pairing Yvonne Strahovski/StuntDouble off the Hottest Couples Chart. While crunching this Hot 100 data, our team felt a surprising upsurge of affection and nostalgia for The L Word. This year: Tibette 4 Eva! Next year: Viva StuntHotski! Submitted by on May 11, 2009 - 10:00am. |
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Smart?
Where is Smart in the Venn? It's the Smart that's hot about Rachel Maddow. Ya think lesbians scientists would know this.
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Tweet: @GrrrlRomeo
yes, but smart has
low bar
I think you need to set the bar for smart a little higher. Perhaps nerdy instead of smart would clarify.
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Tweet: @GrrrlRomeo
Scientistics Calculation Method
Wit is sexy, humor is sexy, mental agility is sexy. But Teh Morp is correct: Anything larger than a three-set Venn would have been clunky. Plus it would have made my head explode.
We did add Maddow's vocabulary as a hot accessory, though. That's something, right?
Self-Indulgent Dork
You forgot Self-Indulgent Dork.
(Yes I get that the point was to work it so Portia is in the center so you went with Gay as quality as supposed to Smart.)
Star Trek isn't scientific either, but that doesn't stop me from analyzing it. Because I'm a dork...it's how I roll. Speaking of rolling, I'm gonna go make some D&D character sheets.
*I am aware this is fanwank.
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Tweet: @GrrrlRomeo
"Yes I get
I have to admit, I don't equate smart with nerdiness.
I have to admit, I don't equate smart with nerdiness (because nerdiness seems to be commonly defined in terms of interests rather than in terms of actual intelligence; for example, a smart person with no interest in math or other "nerdy" subjects would not be defined as nerdy; but even a person not necessarily perceived to be smart who had a high interest in math and other "nerdy" subjects and was always talking about them would (I argue) be classified as nerdy in the taunts directed at him or her). However, I admit that to prove this I would have to compile a corpus of taunts with a significant amount of meta-information about e.g. interests, grades, activities, etc.
But your definition of both seems to accord more closely with my definition of smart, since nerdy for me is a horizontal scale rather than a vertical (so there is no "high" or "low" bar, only a "most" to "least" gradation.
So I'm just curious where the bar would fall. Please arrange the examples (Ellen, Portia, Rachel, Leisha, Jennifer, Tina, and Sara) into the sets "smart" and "not smart", according to your own definition of the word "smart".
No Kiddin'?
That's why I suggested Nerdy for clarity...Maddow is definately nerdy.
A person who is smart but not in a nerdy subject is a geek. But a person can also be both.
Tina and Rachel's intelligence is often something people point to as why they like them. So, while the others may be smart in their own way, it does not appear to be their attracting or most notable quality.
I'm really just going to be a smartass about anyone's most notable quality being that they're gay. I mean Jane Velez-Mitchell isn't on here, nor do I think she should be. And her hair doesn't make sense.
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Tweet: @GrrrlRomeo
Yes, but all kidding aside
Yes, but that fact that isn't the other's "attracting or most notable quality" doesn't actually put them in the "not smart" set does it?
Plus, this Venn diagram answers the question: "What do After Ellen readers [in general] find hot?" So basically, the characteristics should set the members of this list apart from other similar lists. There are many attractive and smart celebrities (with biology, psychology, chemistry, etc. degrees to prove their intelligence and nerdiness); however, I suspect that a much higher proportion of this list is gay than the other comparable lists. Thus, I agree that "gay" is a highly effective quality for differentiate between what After Ellen readers believe is hot vs. what others believe is hot. What say you to that line of reasoning?
HAHAHA!
Brilliant!
StuntDouble you break my heart
i heart Yvonne too and just because you're a famous AE blogger doesn't mean she loves you more . . .
well, maybe it does. sigh.
Just had to say...
Just had to say... StuntHotski is the best shipname I have ever heard, lol.
www.myspace.com/stopstartstall - acousticy music type stuff.
hehehehe...
Actually...
Bones is armed?
Yeah, she's got a BIG gun...
I totally love that Bette
I totally love that Bette and Tina are still number one :D
I'd have to say that Piper Perabo and Lena Headey are hotter than the Skins couple in my books though...
p.s. Heels? I agree. ;)
Go here for my view on all things lesbian: http://allthingslesbeau.blogspot.com
Rachel Maddow's catchphrase
I'm a little confused about
I'm a little confused about the fictional couples one...what is the "average rating" of the actresses? I was thinking that it was the average of the two ratings, but that doesn't seem to fit with the graph...so what is it?
TIA :)
(I should also probably note that I got about 2 hours of sleep last night and just took an AP test so I may be out of my mind right now)
I love these scientific
I love these scientific findings! I have to say though, Leisha strikes me as the funniest in that Venn diagram (with a script at least) I guess she's not a comedian like Ellen though. Also Rachel Maddow has way more going for her to get her on the list than just 'gay', shes so smart and geeky and quite funny too. but i do like your charts regardless, it does explain the Portia (surprise?) win better. Good to see Naomily do so well too, and Emily Deschanel making it on here too (she jumped 16 places!!, not no.69 any more :p Alyson Hannigan is instead)
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My AfterEllen/Bridget Video Game
"there's always time for a burrow..."
"We're getting fired, fired, fired, fi..
The scientistics are a quite funny
Awesomeitude, it's a word
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Why I Don't Sleep Much: Dorothy Surrenders. Also, I'm an utter twit.
There's a mistake
There's a mistake in Renee O'Connor's last name in chart 2... It's not O'Conner. It's O'Connor ;P.
Apart from that this is great. The "Hot" definition totally opened my eyes.
LOL, love the charts!
Awesome
I love this article more than any of the Hot lists! LOOVE the bad-ass matrix. Oh Blair :)
Heels as the #1 accessory - hell yeah!
And Stunthotski is definitely the most awesome shipname I've heard!
Couples
What about Maca and Esther from Spanish show Hospital Central? They're already on season 17!!! :-)
...but I'm happy that Luce and Rachel got #3! :-)
Dushku not badass?
I lurve your charts! Seriously. So freaking brilliant.
Just one question...
How is Eliza Dushku not on the badass chart? Is it because she's Echo now and not badass in her child state? (Even though she totally knocked Helo...I mean, PAUL down the stairs twice?)
Who am I kidding? You probably don't even watch Dollhouse. I'm just being an uberdork. Ignore me. Your charts are perfect.
lol i thought that too
so if ur a dork so am I. I also rather dorkishly thought that Lucy Liu's character in Charlie's Angels didn't use guns so I would have put her in the unarmed section. But regardless I liked this lesbian scientistics.
The vendiagram was especially amusing and totally made sense. Also I too thougt that a lot of L word actresses made it into the hot 100 this yr (I myself voted for Mia *sniff* poor Jenny)
"My life's like a romantic comedy that's never romantic! Or comedic! My life is nothing like a romantic comedy!" - Caitlin (Cashmere Mafia)
Brennan and weapons.
The couples chart was