The battle wages on: Fake lesbians - liberated or lame?

I think it would be liberated if the motivation was different.  If you, a heterosexual woman, were home alone with your best girl friend, also straight, and you eyes locked over a nice bottle of white and you kissed, just to see how it would feel and because you had always wanted to, aware that this did not radically alter the make up of your DNA and if you didn't actually want to sleep with them, that was okay too, and neither of you thought any the more of it than if you kissed a good guy friend and it did or didn't work and how awkward that would be, that would be liberated.

But there are two problems here: the fact that doing it gets attention and drinks from boys, which proves that it is not accepted, and we clearly haven't got this equality and Veronica's claim is rubbish, and that, if it is legitimate experementation, it has to take place within the safety cage of male titilation, that is a girl can kiss her friends because she wants to, but not have to deal with the sick, twisted notion that she is doing it because she wants to, not for drinks or adulation.

And do hetrosexual men really, really need to be confused over wether women kissing are there for their entertainment?  It's hard to remember that the porn industry is actually all lies, that lonely housewives can't just jump poor defensless staff whos migrations status may be questionable and have no legal recourse or protection, that schoolgirls are off limits to teachers and your secretary isn't a company provided sex doll if all around you, lonely housewives were pouncing on pool boys, french maids were loudly stating how much they enjoy being harasses and secretaries were explaining how really, they want nothing more than to gratify your every fantasy.  It's hard to say "please go away, we are two girls kissing and we really, really don't want your attention" when all around you there are girls kissing who really, really do want your attention.

NB: fact check, everyone knows Drew Barrymore is bisexual and Jenny Shimizu is widely believed in her claims of having had a relationship with Madonna.

If it stopped getting press and OMG SHE KISSED A GIRL crap, they'd stop doing it.

That said, I do think we can be strangely exclusive, as seen in the difficulty many had/have in accepting certain women as queer, like Lindsay Lohan or Tila Tequila. There's a clear difference between shouting "I kissed a girl for publicity, but no way am I gay" like the Madonna/Britney kiss and "I'm questioning or exploring my sexuality or inching out of the closet in the same way that lots of women do but unfortunately the paparazzi follow me everywhere" like Lindsay. Tila...is probably a combination. It's clear that she loves the spotlight, but I do believe her that she likes women.

I was rather surprised by the outpouring of love for the Drew/Ellen kisses. If that had been anyone else, we'd mostly be complaining here that they were just doing it to drum up publicity. I was actually kind of offended - fake lesbianism to drum up support for their movie is fine, but they couldn't actually put any lesbian storylines in it?

I don't even know what to say. Which makes this comment pretty pointless but hey ho. Urrm hmm...I LOVE YOU KATY PERRY!

Pashing!

 While this was stylish, and a bit amusing, and quick, I don't think it really presented much of an argument. The two ladies brought up points that only sorta thematically related to each other, but didn't really debate one another. I liked the "Drew and that girl from 'Juno'", that made me laugh.

What acceptance? If there is already acceptance, why isn't there marriage equality? Why are we still mocked for being gay? Why do gays still get hurt just cos they're gay? There's nothing sexually liberating about fauxmosexuals. We never hear about faux gays, do we? Straight guys don't do this. If this were sexual liberation, we'd have Keith Urban or David Archuleta singing he kissed a boy and he liked it!

Fauxmosexuals! Stop using our identities for your attention and/or money!

-MJ

Spread the RAINBOW!

http://mgayness.livejournal.com

Just b/c there has been a cultural shift in acknowledgment due to few out celesbians and LGBTQI issues on State and Federal lawmakers table doesn't mean equality has been given.  Kissing a girl for experimentation isn't the same as emotional and physical and spiritual attraction towards one. Veronica needs to get her facts straight.  It hasn't been 50 years.  It's been way longer than that say centuries.   An example, the playwright Oscar Wild went to prison for being  gay. By non-queer person's lack of  acknowledgement about LGBTQI history shows ego perception of  "I don't give a s&^t about LGBTQI b/c I'm not part of the community. Therefore I will ignore any true history and stories about LGBTQI people.  Hey It's so cool to kiss your hot female best friends b/c I'm not gay."  How disrespectful. 

Cool link,SD. 

twitter me @ www.twitter.com/brownskinfaery

I like two beautiful women kissing. It's a beautiful sight. Then my mind lights up: does it mean anything? (remember Madonna when she said word for word: 'It meant nothing'). Then I rebel: It's fake and lame!

So yes it's lame but I'm still looking for women making out. Call me a voyeuse... But there's always a chance that bang... love shows its lesbian nose!

I'm not offended by it, but I think it's trashy.

And, you can't call it true sexual liberation because of the inequality of it all. I mean, if it were two guys kissing just for fun, people would be like "what?! so gay." And if I kissed a guy, people would either think I was secretly straight, or they would be extremely confused. Plus the fact that most of the time, like with Katy Perry and the Ellen/Drew picture, it's simply for attention. 

attention-seeking wh*res!!!! aghh not cool!

and I cheer for Lindsay Lohan, I would love to see her being free with whoever she wants! and that being said I hate Perez Hilton for bashing her all the time, and pushing her back to the closet whille he's loving fauxmosexual Katy Perry! what an hypocrite he is!

***Xeneize 4ver***

Ok, so I understand the point of the segment, and they weren't dismissing bisexuality but rather commenting on fake attraction to women for it's attention grabbing aspects, but still...

Why can't they call people bisexual when they are?  Drew has been very open about being bi.  

Also, we don't all fit into a totally gay or straight world.  Just as I'm sure there are lesbians that have at some point kissed or dated guys, the same happens for straight people.  

Maybe there should be more talk about the Kinsey scale to get the point across.  Bisexuality exists!!!  

(I am so frustrated.... I don't think this post even begins to scratch the surface.)

I think fake lesbian kissing is lame, and unwanted. It's degrading to straight women first of all, proving they would do whatever to get some dude's attention, and completely insulting to gay women everywhere, who are fighting for the rights to adopt, marry, and be freely accepted as part of God's plan by the judgmental minority made up of the conservative, myopic, hypocritical, power hungry, money loving haters of the world!!!

It's very common to see chicks making out now, and behind it you may already know its fake and not give a shit. And thats what we need to do, not care about it. Let them pose and do what they wanna. It's not a big deal anymore which also illustrates that lesbianism is not as foreign and horrible as it was many years ago. But still, I think straight girls can do better than that and quit faking it, they know they secretly wanna get down anyway!.... lol. 

SdQ Out!

I watched this on TV when it was on a few weeks ago. It's from a new show called hungry beast. They had another similar segment about the worth of pandas!

Hilarious stuff!

Liberating who from what? Heteros from their sexuality?

Lesbians from our hidden ways and habits:)?

Because I don't feel liberated, I feel mocked about. I feel that any two girls pecking or tonguing because they had one too many or are bored or for their boyfriend's gaze is a set back to any lesbian. How? I already had more than a few talks with the "decent folks" who use that fake smooching as an argument on how lesbians are just confused girls with too much time on their hands (hah!)...

Whatever we think, the straight girls are going to do what they want. I have no problem with people kissing because kissing is fun - just as different hugs and embraces can mean different things, so can kisses. Regardless of orientation, I'm sure a lot of us have kissed someone for fun without it meaning anything, or made out with someone while drunk just for the hell of it without being attracted to someone.

I do think women are generally more affectionate towards each other than men are, whether that's cultural, social or innate. For some girls, kissing their friends when they feel like kissing someone might feel a bit more comfortable than kissing a random guy they don't know, who might get the wrong idea. The straight girls aren't taking anything away from us.

For me, the problem is more how two girls kissing is regarded. It's for guys, it's not cheating, it doesn't mean anything, it's not like I'm gay... and on and on. I think it's creepier and more hypocritical that men some men can be turned on by two girls kissing and still feel justified in being homophobic in other situations, or that a lot of girl-on-girl stuff is marketed for the male gaze. THAT stuff trivializes lesbians - girl/girl porn shouldn't be in the straight section. 

The imbalance also bothers me - I don't think it counts as 'liberation' if straight men aren't making out on the dance floor for fun without feeling like their masculinity and sexuality is under strike. Then again, I'm pretty sure there's a few websites focused on pictures of emo boys kissing each other at their girlfriends' request. Straight girls kissing isn't 'liberating'; it's just more acceptable than straight guys kissing. 

For some reason, something that really bothers me is when straight girls refer to close female friends as their "girlfriends," which really de-emphasizes queer girls using that term to refer to someone they're in a relationship with. Anyone else have a similar issue with how that term is used? 

I LOLed at Monique and the gay boy making out.

"We are so heterosexual."

"This is so liberating!"

 Fake Lesbians: you look just as ridiculous, if slightly hotter, when you do it. 

For attention or publicity, it is so not sexy.

Both my oldest nieces (still in their teens) have bragged to their lesbian aunty (me) about their experiments with 'friends'. Saying it is trendy and they both admit they use it to their advantage when out at nightclubs for the male attention.

Though both have only had ongoing boyfriends to take home to introduce to Mum and Dad, the younger I would label as try-sexual and, I feel, will one day soon settle down with her man of choice and have a dozen offspring with him.

My oldest niece, having brought up the subject in front of her bug-eyed Grandmother in a very open and blunt and direct conversation with me, is I think, genuinely bisexual. I let her know that I'm not supportive of her kissing her best friend Holly for male attention and that it is wrong, fashionable or not. I then told her to stop straightening her hair and dying it blonde so as not to look so Parish Hiltonish, because that fashion statement is so wrong too. She has such thick beautiful curls and is a natural strawberry blonde. Anyway ...

I actually found it refreshing that such a subject as one's sexuality can be discussed so openly today by our youth, even in front of a floored Grandmother, who listened intently, but would never engage in such a conversation herself.

Oh and StuntDouble ... I think you have something for us Aussies :) 

Sometimes it feels like no fake lesbian ever considers the repercussions her behaviour might have on girls who actually do identify as queer. My girlfriend and I don't read as gay to the casual observer, especially not when we're all dolled up for a night out together. When we're affectionate in public, we get harassed by straight men who think we're doing it for the attention. They won't accept that we're not interested in having sex with them and six of their friends. You might say that that's what you get for being a lesbian (in the words of my mother), but sometimes it feels like nowhere is safe. This has happened not only in straight clubs, but in gay bars. Once it even happened after the guys involved had seen me with my girlfriend in a goddamned Pride parade! The fake lesbians might be feeling liberated as all hell, but it's not liberating for me by any means, because it means I can't be affectionate with my beautiful girlfriend, who I am so proud and happy to be in love with, when we're on a sodding date.

Something my girlfriend said to me yesterday... "My boss heard me calling you baby and she thought you were my sister. I told her you were my partner and she got really confused...." (Then later) "I felt like I had to say partner, because I thought if I said girlfriend then she'd think I was just some teenage girl trying out a phase."

This made me sad. My girlfriend even told my boss we were dating for years longer than we actually have been because she felt she needed to legitimize the relationship to her heterosexual boss. I get where she's coming from, having just recently come out and beginning to fully understand the LGBT community and our struggles, but the fact that she felt like she had to add a few more years to our relationship just frustrates me. 

So, I guess I do have a problem with faux lesbianism. They do not liberate us. They do not help our progress. They're in it for the publicity. This is our lives. Our livelihood that they're messing with. Ehhhh. I'm getting mad. I'm done.

It's making things very unsafe and increasingly annoying for girls who actually want to be dating a girl. It also gears up a lot of anger from lesbians towards bisexuals because these faux-homos are the only ones getting public attention and recognition. No one actually wants to recognize a true bisexual but they plaster faux-lesbians everywhere you look. I say this as a lesbian frustrated with the inability to determine if the girl is near me because she likes me or she's hoping the boy next to me will notice her sexual openness. I think what is making it worse the apparent complete lack of respect showed toward the gay community. You want your sexual freedom and all that's great. How about remembering that there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of people who can't even think about acting on true feelings because they may get attacked or worse.

If someone shows you who they are, believe them ~ maya angelou

if they get turned on by it who cares i mean if it were between two straight girls. if it were a couple together and they were oogling it'd be rude.

i've always been a fan of saying let people do what they want. if they are stupid enough to judge a whole group by a few select encounters then they aren't very smart.

Lauren

i find the faux stuff SO annoying. sure, i didn't mind the ellen page and drew barrymore thing, because god knows we all want ellen to come out. and i saw drew barrymore thing where she briefly commented on the photo-spread to a reporter.. and, well, i forgive her. i think her intentions were there, but it came off as a marketing ploy for her new (pretty crappy) movie. 

it's not acceptance, and it's not liberation. monique wins- it's not progress, it's objectification. it's just gross. and i agree with an above commenter- if this is equality, where's marriage equality then?