by the linster

This Halloween, dress for excess

When it comes to Halloween, lesbians are at a disadvantage. Gay men thrive on dressing up, whether in drag or other meticulously designed costumes. In Dallas, we have a street party attended by more incarnations of Cher, Bette Midler, Star Jones and Judy Garland than you’ll see in Vegas. But most lesbians seem to be dressed in UPS uniforms, tuxedos and leather. In other words, they’re wearing what they wear every day — sort of.

So, what’s a dyke to do? Surely, we can be a little creative this year. As a public service, AfterEllen.com has been trolling the interweb to find suggestions for even the laziest lesbo.

Hot couples: Anyone who’s anyone can be mocked for Halloween.

Sam and Lindsay: a fedora and headphones for Sam and a skimpy outfit for Lindsay. You’ll need lots of eye makeup for both, depending on how much sleep you’ve been getting.

Callie and Erica: Scrubs and a stethoscope or two are all you need for clothing. The key to pulling this off will be in the goofy, over-the-moon expressions.

Ellen and Portia: This seems to be a popular choice, but I am skeptical that anyone could actually do this couple convincingly. Post a picture if you can prove me wrong.

L Word couples: One of my favorite lesbian costumes was the couple that came as Bette, Tina and Angelica. They had attached a baby doll’s arms with some kind of industrial elastic and each hung on to an arm while they stretched her around the room. It’s funnier with beer.

Not-so-hot couples: Anyone else can be mocked, too.

Mike and Mom: if you’re going partying with your pumped GBF (gay boyfriend), you can be Michael Phelps and his mom. He’ll be the life of the party with his abs and his gold medals and you’ll get points for being a good sport. Yeah, it’s a little creepy, but hey, it’s Halloween.

Disney couples: for those of you who will wait until the day of the party to think about a costume, then rush to the costume shop where the only outfits left are storybook characters, never fear. Snow White and Alice in Wonderland may be boring alone, but as a lesbian couple? They rock.

Puns: Some lesbians really hate costumes that rely on word play. Personally, I’m a sucker for a punny outfit. It’s cheap and easy — but enough about me.

Indigo Girl: All you need is blue face paint and a denim shirt and pants. Admit it — you laughed.

Behind the Times: Get a New York Times, take the front-page spread, cut two eyeholes and attach it to your clothes. Hey, don’t throw things at your computer screen.

Names in the news: Somewhat predictable, sometimes hilarious.

Sarah Palin: Predicted to be the No. 1 costume this year. Halloween shops are selling out of wigs, glasses and Miss Alaska sashes; but my guess is that the best Sarah’s will be drag queens. Why not get a group and go as the rest of the Palin family? Bristol and Levi are the stuff snarky lesbian dreams are made of. Or fool everyone and go as Tina Fey. Just be sure to glue your ears back.

Joe the Plumber: You already have the tool belt and plunger. (Wash it first. Thanks.) I advise going with a jumpsuit instead of the butt-crack look, but that’s just me. A friend of mine who looks like Nancy McKeon is going as Jo the Plumber. That could be my favorite Halloween costume ever.

As for me, I’m going to ride the wave of True Blood and Twilight and dust off my blonde punk wig and cape. My eyes are blue enough that with a generous glob of black eyeliner, they look really spooky. You won’t recognize me, seriously.

What about you? What are you going to be for Halloween? Any ideas for the rest of us?

the linster's blog

Submitted by

the linster

on October 24, 2008 - 2:00pm.

TAGS ::

Halloween

mine's gonna be amazing :D

Submitted by

Captain Jax Havok (187 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 2:36pm.

i'm going as one of those track runners from Juno :]hehe i bought the Dancing Elk t-shirt at hot topic and i'm gonna wear a yellow skirt. it's gonna rule XD haha <3

DUDE!!!

Submitted by

Anonymous

on October 31, 2008 - 3:08pm.

DUUUDE that is friggin amaaaaze, i want pictures of that hehe:D

I'm so excited

Submitted by

Jess (127 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 2:40pm.

My gf and I were actually going to try to go as Xena and Gabrielle. The costumes were a little daunting though, and she recently started obsessing over cowgirls. So she's going as the sheriff, and I'll be the cowboi bandit. It's going to be great!

I'm going to be Ellen.

Submitted by

Aeriana Eve (29 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 2:47pm.

Asian style of course! Unfortunately I'm riding solo so no Portia here... I go to gay school, (seriously) so I opted out of the fairies and princess' this year, I think we'll have enough wings floating around the room. ;)

I'm going as a keg. I taped

Submitted by

Kelc!e (15 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 3:17pm.

I'm going as a keg. I taped some cardboard togeather, cut out some holes, spray painted it silver, and stuck one of thoes Heineken mini kegs in it so I really work. Lol. Either I'll be the life of the party or I'll be hearing "I would never tap that." a lot. Lol.

Peace!

-Kelc!e

ok so...

Submitted by

Anonymous

on October 24, 2008 - 3:53pm.

not very scary or imaginative for that matter but i'm going as a scary raver lol i'm so excited coz i'm having a party and wanted to look the best! i have bright pink ankle warmers,blue leggings,a yellow tutu with a netting stuff underneath with cobwebs and stuff on and a blue top with a bright pink vest top over it which i flicked paint at so it's covered in flicky paint like 3 year old kids do ha ha a skull tie yellow braces a high vis jacket yellow braces yellow fingerless gloves and my fave part of the outfit... troll earings!!!! they're sooo cool!

oh and I bought oneof those space hoppers to hop around my house with!... yeah I went a little overboard maybe :P

the beer keg thing sounds so cool coz it works and everything! i should have thought of that! lol

mccain supporter

Submitted by

ebe312 (12 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:09pm.

i am going as the most terrifying horrible thing i could think of: a mccain supporter.

http://www.zazzle.com/peace_love_mccain_palin_shirt-235134646255933312

this is my costume, along with a mccain sign, that was stolen so no worries about where my money is going.i mean that the sign was stolen from someones yard and the shirt is from an independent seller.

im going to preachthe key republican points. hopefully i wont break out in laughter mid speech.

i have also perfected my evil cackle. this halloween is going to be amazing. :D

Hilarious

Submitted by

Amanda (26 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:45pm.

Hilarious

that is absolutely amazing.

Submitted by

dame_elphaba (95 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 10:20am.

that is absolutely amazing.

Pimp.

Submitted by

JasmeenKru (283 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:04pm.

Pimp.

I'm dressing up as a pimp from the 1970's. I purchased all this tacky 1970's gear from a couple of vintage shops in Toronto. :D.

80s thx

Submitted by

Emma (297 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:08pm.

I'm going 80s for Halloween. Metallic silver leggings, black shorts, bright white shirt with colorful writing, my black Chucks, and a wicked side ponytail. I've gotta learn some 80s dance moves though, need something to prove my worth at those parties.

___//♫♪ let your girlfriend do what your boyfriend can't

I'm always kind of

Submitted by

Spaced (79 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:18pm.

I'm always kind of impressed by how "into" Halloween Americans seem to get, it certainly seems a much bigger deal there than it is over here in the UK. Then again my family are like the scrooges of Halloween, we spend the night hiding in the back of the house with all the house lights all switched off, no tv or music etc playing so everyone will think we're out & won't bother knocking for trick or treating...

I've never actually gone to a Halloween party or got dressed up as anything.

Gelphie!

Submitted by

battlingbard (27 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:40pm.

My gf and I are going as Elphaba (The Wicked Witch) and Glinda respectively. We are also dressing up our dog, one of our cats, and one of our guinea pigs as flying monkies so we can enter them in a costume contest being held by a local petstore.

The best part about my costume? The entire thing cost less that $5 since I already had the main outfit (white blouse and pink skirt).

Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth.

Fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words; they are perspectives.

The "Doctor" is in :)

Submitted by

Theresa Willson (26 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:51pm.

I just thought I would post I've got the doctor at my house. Yes, doctor Hannibal Lector, strait jacket and all. I didn't know where to post this, so I thought cool, someone started a Halloween thread. Awesome! I love, love Halloween. I can't wait! Hehe. I'll be a serial killer ahhh...... but the question is which one? So Bridge, if you see this, what about you? What are you doing for Halloween? Dressing up as? I know the costumes and LA parties will be off the hook. They always are. Wish I could be there. Maybe someday. Hopefully. Kate Moennig was dressed up as a pirate one year, saw a picture on the net somewhere. She of course looked really cool. When does that woman not look cool. Kate always does. :) Bridge Mcmanus rocks!!!!!!!! Cha!

I love Halloween!

Submitted by

GustavChristoff (107 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 4:54pm.

It's up there in my favorite holidays. My brother got me a pith helmet this year for my birthday so I'll be going as a Dr. Livingston-like explorer type person, basically lots of khaki, and maybe a fake elephant gun.

I was going to go as Palin,

Submitted by

Arianne Jean (53 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 5:14pm.

I was going to go as Palin, but then I found out it was going to be a popular costume and changed my mind. I think I'll go as Zelda, or just an elf.

-Oh look, I'm in your community, joinin' in on stuff!-

Costume Help Wanted

Submitted by

Margaret (38 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 5:30pm.

I have to wear a hard hat and steel toes to work and will probably get really dirty. What can I do to dress up for Halloween? I already look like Bob the Builder, but so does everyone else!

all i have to say is...

Submitted by

McPatty (4 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 6:38pm.

DAWN DENBO AND HER LOVER CINDY.

DD and her lover Cindy

Submitted by

Jessy (61 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 6:10am.

That's awesome!! DD and her lover Cindy is a brilliant idea!

Unfortunately we don't 'do' Halloween in the Netherlands so I won't be dressing up. BUT if I could I'd probably try and go as Donna from Mamma Mia (dungarees, a long white wig and lots of rings) or as Princess Leia (not the golden bikini though, just the white robe thingy and a big gun). And if those two couldn't have worked I would have gone as Stevie Nicks (moon necklace, tambourine, long black robe-ish dress, maybe corset and a long blonde wig. And of course yell out STAND BACK every 2 minutes.) Too bad Halloween is celebrated here :(

I can't wait either!!!!!!

Submitted by

brackishtea (1366 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 7:28pm.

I want to go as a "sexually active" ~~lesbian~~ nun.

There.

This will be a fun halloween.

o_O

Submitted by

miniplenty (93 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 7:05am.

Wow... I wish I was there... ;)

I'm not going to dress up on Halloween night, but I'm going to a Rocky Horror screening locally the night before, and I may wear a costume then.

Indiana Solo

Submitted by

venus sans furs (90 posts)

on October 24, 2008 - 10:30pm.

I'm dressing as Harrison Ford. A little Han Solo (blue pants with red stripe, boots, blaster), a little Indiana Jones (safari hat/fedora, bull whip, maybe some plastic snakes) and possibly a little Fugitive/Air Force One action as well (because at this point I'm topless and it's really cold here in October. Also I'd prob get arrested).

I'm pretty sure no one is going to get it, but screw it: Indiana Solo ftw.

For Halloween this Year...

Submitted by

BlueIV (15 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 1:20am.

I was having a tough time trying to come up with an idea for a costume. Then, like a flouresent light bulb, it came to me!

I'm gonna be 'Daisy Duke'.

*Home is Where the Heart is, But What a Shame 'Cuz Everyone's Heart Doesn't Beat the Same*

Dykes of Hazard

Submitted by

cowgal (284 posts)

on October 28, 2008 - 7:46pm.

add a little lesbian flair and you've got:

DAISY DYKE

... possibly more appropriate, because you've got the plaid shirt, cutoff denim and cowgirl boots. very gay :D

I'm going as Ellen. My hair

Submitted by

dame_elphaba (95 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 10:23am.

I'm going as Ellen. My hair isn't blonde and it's a bit longer than hers, but oh well.

I'm going to dance to all of my classes.

I'm going as a tourist. =D

Submitted by

lolcaz (48 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 10:28am.

I'm going as a tourist. =D Basically, I'm gonna wear this I <3 London tshirt I have underneath this hideous New York shirt with taxi cabs and stuff all over it... And then I'm gonna roll up my jeans and wear thick socks and sandals. Also, I will have a touristy hat and some binoculars around my neck. And a lei. Yey.
I don't normally do anything for Halloween, but there's a Halloween party at my uni and I guess it'll be fun to run around uni doing drunken Halloween things. =D

Hall0ween

Submitted by

shamWow (95 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 10:52am.

I had set eyes on a full-body gorilla costum, but money is tight these days *sight*

And then I saw an H&M outfit that looked like Beetlejuices suit, but they didn't have it in my size -.-

So I keep my fingers crossed and hope something(cheap) comes in mind and eye-sight.

Mine may be too retro,

Submitted by

BijouxIce (50 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 11:23am.

I'm going as Stevie Nicks in her gypsy/witch days with a flowy black flounced skirt, a fringed velvet shawl, lots of diaphanous scarves, big hoop earrings, a tambourine and a long curly blonde wig from about 10 years ago when I went to work as a blonde bimbo in a mini skirt and got hit on by a creepy old attorney I worked with who didn't recognize me.

I'll probably more easily pass for Ann Wilson, though. That could totally be my hair on a humid day in Missouri!

Halloween is my favorite

Submitted by

Miss_Halfway (48 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 11:46am.

Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. I was going to be Ellen, but I figured she might be a little popular this year...

Instead, I'm jazzing up a costume from a few years back. I'm going to be Angel from Rent. Think the movie version, Christmas day. <3 I'm going to the Village for Halloween, so this'll probably be a hit too. :) I'm super excited.

Arr!

Submitted by

Chris (6268 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 7:48pm.

I'm going as a pirate....complete with a rainbow monkey. :D

:(

Submitted by

Cherry Vegas (9 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 8:29pm.

I have no ideas yet :(

so easy.

Submitted by

girlfriendinacoma (8 posts)

on October 25, 2008 - 10:32pm.

Peppermint Patty.

Paulie and Juno.

Submitted by

Anonymous

on October 25, 2008 - 11:05pm.

I have a Dancing Elk Condors tee and some of those awful, papery shorts and a yellow headband. My girlfriend bought one of the Slinky shirts, and a prosthetic pregnancy thing.I stole one of my guyfriend's flannel coats for her, too.

It's going to be great.

"if were with caitlin, does that mean i'd get to be a marshmallow, too?"

Velma~

Submitted by

Masuchan (24 posts)

on October 26, 2008 - 12:53pm.

Velma from Scooby-Doo. My hair is at about just the right length (longer than in the profile picture ^^;) so I was inspired :)

Flamingo!

Submitted by

Melanie (40 posts)

on October 26, 2008 - 9:36pm.

I decided to use my asian-ness for evil this halloween

Submitted by

Nodame (1202 posts)

on October 27, 2008 - 12:06am.

I will go as a Harajuku girl and my Chinese friend is getting a blonde wig and going as Gwen Stefani.

I am going as a Legends of

Submitted by

Jesticle (26 posts)

on October 27, 2008 - 7:21am.

I am going as a Legends of the Hidden Temple contestant.

Awesome!

Submitted by

Melanie (40 posts)

on October 27, 2008 - 8:59pm.

I think that is the best costume idea I have ever heard!

:D

Submitted by

Captain Jax Havok (187 posts)

on October 28, 2008 - 4:08pm.

XD lmao dude i totally concur :] <3

Littly fantasy

Submitted by

crazylilpsycho (14 posts)

on October 27, 2008 - 8:43am.

So me and my girlfriend are going as a teacher and school girl, respectively. I bought this nice button up and argyle vest from AE, so i can use it after this weekend. Plus i have the tie and nice fake horn rimmed glasses. And of course she has the skirt and white button up, with a sweater, sort of like a catholic school girl thing. I am so looking forward to that night.