Cherry Bomb: "Long Distance Dating"

www.myspace.com/lunakiss7

Nice inputs and story sharing ladies. I've been in a LDR and it lasted a year. The relationship had its ups and downs. We did see each other and we talked to each other everyday including text msgs. My ex cheated on me. The relationship between me and her got crazy and weird. What broke us up? Her cheating. Not the distance itself. Yes,I would get into another LDR relationship if the opportunity exists. I like how you all pointed some comforts and idscomforts about it. It's nice to see other people's views. It's great to hear from a person who's had several LDR including transcontinental; Arlan is a great guest. 

so great to finally see her on AE

the episode was great as always

its my responsibilty to show emotion in my life
cuz otherwise it seems i'm going through the motions with my life

very informative vlog... Ladies you just made my Friday evening!

Been in a LDR myself, outcome: I relocated and am still in the UK. The relationship broke down after 4.5 years (of which 1 year was LD: her UK, me GER) but for other reasons.

Was that year of LDR easy? Hell no! Did it involve the web,cam, mobiles and sms, phones, letters, emails, parcels... Hell yes! Did it cost a bomb? Oh yes... but boy it was worth every penny!

Would I do it again? Yes... Would I actively seek one? Hell no... I'm a touchy feely person, and that aspect in a LDR is beyond sucking. When it happens it happens...you don't chose love, love choses you...

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Flick your bean..to stop the war machine..Masturbate for peace

Thanks for the episode.  I would not mind trying a long distance relationship, I just know there has to be communication, honesty, loyalty.  The way my personality is I enjoy my space and privacy so I think it would work well with a committed long distance relationship. Like Tatum stated "....being with an amazing person", I would only be in a long distance relationship with an amazing female as well. 

Thanks. 

I think Dalila might have pinpointed my approach to relationships... I'm definitely one of those who is very into the idea of having a relationship with lots of space in it for myself. So yeah, maybe I'm a bit of a commitmentphobe. That being said, I haven't had loads of long distance relationships, but the idea of one is quite appealing to me.

As chronically single as I am, I do have an OTA ("Out of Town Ass", a phrase I learned from one of Gloria's blogs over one ourchart) and we definitely get those romantic weekends every once in a while, so that's nice.

That happened to my brain. It stuttered to a stop and just exploded during the first scene. Had to defrag my memory and reboot to get functioning again. :)

Anyway..I'm with Gloria and Arlan. I like my space and time. LDR's are pretty nice with the right person.

Have a great weekend ladies!

Great ep as usual, girls!

I recently realised that all my major relationships have been long distance.

I didn't choose it, it just has ended up that way every time.

BUT I've also recently come to the realization that maybe having some distance between my partner and I actually works well for me given my personality.

I really like my own company and I'm big on "me" time. But I like knowing that I have someone that I get to see or talk to (and have sex with!) regularly.

I think being around someone all the time or being in a situation where the person could just show up at my place at any given time would probably cause me some stress.

I guess I feel more in control when there has to be planning and coordination around when we see each other. Plus it gives you something to look forward to!

Seeing that I'm about to graduate from law school, however, any relationship I'm in will probablly feel like that anyway cus I'm gonna be so damn busy working all the time!

...don't do LDR.

Nikki that skirt...DAMN!

Also, I've had long distance relationships and i don't think I'm cut for it, but then my near distance relationships haven't worked either hahahaha, so maybe I just haven't found the right person. Good show as usual ladies.

I've been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. It does get hard not being near my girlfriend and we have broken-up a few times but we always end up back together. I do plan on moving to be with her but I want to finish college first.

Me and my girlfriend have done things like watch the same movie/tv show, eat the same dinner, read the same book, play the same video game, etc. I love when we go to bed with our webcams on and when we wake up the next morning we can see each other. It's nice.

so why did the bandana look go away after only like 20 seconds. Hot Damn, I'm just going to go ahead and start a petition to have Arian back on for future episodes. haha j/k..Now that my perveted needs are out the way, Like Dahlila and Nikki, I like for the person that I'm with to be there so we can get all of our physical needs met. I do have a 'friend' thats in that fuzzy zone and I still love her, but I don't think theres really anything there to really work on or even worth pursuing. Plus, the whole long-distance thing is eating up my savings it ain't even funny. Although, I wouldn't mind receiving Gloria's type care packages. Hot Damn, that has got to be the luckiest woman on earth to be on the receiving end of that. And also, from where I'm sitting theres just way too many options and potential to even want to get myself involved in a ldr. But, I have known a couple of people who where in ldr and are still together to this date, so theres potential there, just isn't something that appeals to me personally. On the sex question, I definitely agree with Dahlila if theres a connection and you can feel it 5 minutes into the conversation go for it. If she's great keep her, if not move on. lol..I feel that if you're with someone that you just can't seem to keep your hands off, that's a relationship worth fighting for vs A relationship with someone that just like to sit there and talk up a whole god damn solution for Global Warming and can't fully take care of buisness. Yup

Thanks for yet another entertaining Vlog ladies. And Dahlila, your looking more and more like Michelle Obama every episode. mm mm mmhh. Real Good look on yah;) Love it! Peace and Love

-<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>_<_>

"The first duty of a man is to think for himself"

Jose Marti

That was really interesting.. and so relevant to my life. Ive been doing the long distance thing with the same woman for 7 years. We were on different continent for 5 of those years, and we're now just an 1 1/2 hours away by plane... so now we see each other every month or every other month... but we talk on the phone every day. I'm going to visit her in 3 weeks time and then she's coming up for christmas.

It was really hard when we were living on different continents and we only saw each other once a year - but she loves me more than anyone ever could and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I'm hoping we'll be living together in about a year... that's the plan.But we've also got some religion/family obstacles, so we'll always be "just friends living together"....lol

Can't wait for next weeks episode:))) 

Gloria, I totally feel ya girl. Courtship, the appetizer, the tease and fun leading towards it all… totally me.

Same on LDR. Not having to shave, only dress up a few days a month. Practical. I seem to be agreeing with you lots the last few weeks  :P

I recently managed to get myself into a long distance relationship, and I absolutely hate it. I knew from the start that if it got serious it would be long distance, and I knew I wouldn't like it. We haven't been apart for that long, yet - just three weeks, the longest we've gone without seeing eachother. So it hasn't been too bad - the worst part is that I know I won't see her again for another seven months - that's longer than we've actually known eachother. If she lived closer I would hop on a plane and visit before that, but she literally lives on the other side of the world and I can't justify spending money I don't have and days of traveling for just a short visit.

Thanks to skype we get to talk and "see eachother" almost every day, and a lot of the time we just hang out together - read, watch tv, listen to music. I love that I can be quiet with her without having to worry about how much it's costing me! The time difference sucks, though - one of us always has to get up early or stay up late.

It's hard. I imagine it's going to get harder. I don't know what will happen in the future. But I know I care enough about her to try my very best to make it work.

Very informative..well writtenand some interesting points of view.. I recommend you go and read it  :D (and no: I'm not the author!!!!!)

Talking to strangers: the joys and dangers of dating online Part 1 and Part 2

Taken from eurOut: a European Lesbian/Bisexual Website with News from Entertainment/Politics and Human Interest Stories

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frosch411 online   

So a few things :)

One, CB has helped produce a No on 8 PSA for the Jordan/Rustin Coalition with Purple Dolphin Productions.  Dalila Ali Rajah directed them, and is a part of the English version.  Both the Spanish and English versions feature comic Sandra Valls.

You can watch it is a few places.  We're copying and pasting the info below so that you can take a look, and pass the info around.  it is getting down to the wire.  We are doing our best to get the message out to as many people as possible.  Even if you don't live in California, please pass it on to everyone you can think of out this way.  The more people who see it the better :)

Here are allthe places you can see the PSA:

CherryBomb’s Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1320103257&ref=name

CherryBomb’s Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/cherrybombtv     

Directmyspace links to watch video:

English:http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45630880

Spanish:http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45631110

You tube

English: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP6bGVD1R88

Spanish:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCVaH_S5E-0

Here are allthe embed codes. Which means if you copy them into myspace bulletins, myspacepages, or webpages it will add the video to them.  You Tube’s quality is not the best.  You may want to use the Myspace links.  You can also click on them through myfacebook pages, and then click on share and send it as a note on facebook, orpost it on your own page. 

My spaceembed codes:

English:

<a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45630880">NoOn Prop 8</a><br/><object width="425px"height="360px" ><param name="allowFullScreen"value="true"/><param name="wmode"value="transparent"/><param name="movie"value="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=45630880,t=1,mt=video,searchID=,primarycolor=,secondarycolor="/><embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=45630880,t=1,mt=video,searchID=,primarycolor=,secondarycolor="width="425" height="360" allowFullScreen="true"type="application/x-shockwave-flash"wmode="transparent"/></object>

Spanish:

<a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=45631110">Noon Prop 8 - Spanish</a><br/><object width="425px"height="360px" ><param name="allowFullScreen"value="true"/><param name="wmode"value="transparent"/><param name="movie"value="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=45631110,t=1,mt=video,searchID=,primarycolor=,secondarycolor="/><embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=45631110,t=1,mt=video,searchID=,primarycolor=,secondarycolor="width="425" height="360" allowFullScreen="true"type="application/x-shockwave-flash"wmode="transparent"/></object>

You Tubeembed Codes:

English:

<objectwidth="425" height="344"><paramname="movie"value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dP6bGVD1R88&hl=en&fs=1"></param><paramname="allowFullScreen"value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess"value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dP6bGVD1R88&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"width="425" height="344"></embed></object> 

Spanish:

<objectwidth="425" height="344"><paramname="movie"value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GCVaH_S5E-0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><paramname="allowFullScreen"value="true"></param><paramname="allowscriptaccess"value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GCVaH_S5E-0&hl=en&fs=1"type="application/x-shockwave-flash"allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425"height="344"></embed></object>

Second thing, CB has started a newsletter.  For those of you who haven't seen it yet you can go to www.emailbrain.com/cbreportoctober.  It includes juicy tidbits. Info about where you can see the ladies in person. We answer a viewer question every month, and give you opportunities to win stuff!  Check it out and subscribe :)

Cheers!

Cherry Bomb Staff 

Sorry!

I Also love the physically intimate aspect of a close distance relationship.

I always tend to be very physical and always touchy-feely with my girls when we're together whether we're in public or not. It's something that I absolutely adore, especially the small touches and brushes while in public because it sends my imagination running and makes me even more excited to be around that person.

I’m an independent introvert. I need to have my happy balance of people time and me time. I also seem to be the type of person that can make a long distance relationship work. In fact, my one and only relationship with a woman was long distance. We lasted for two of the best years of my life. That relationship and her helped me realize so many things about myself. She was the first girl to give me a chance. She taught me so much about opening up and how to be myself. But most importantly, she was my first female kiss. My relationship with her helped me solidify my sexuality.

Part of what made my ex and I so compatible was we had an understanding. We would always set aside time for one another. Get on the same cell phone plan or get a plan that will allow you the freedom of limitless communication. Use e-mails, webcams, hell even send each other stuff in the mail. That’s what we did! But more importantly, never ever let a day go by without speaking to one another.

Also, don’t limit yourselves. You have to understand that your partner’s world is not going to stop just because you aren’t there. So if you are insecure then this type of relationship will not work for you. Believe you me, I always made sure I knew where and when my girlfriend was going to be out. Just like I always let her know if I was going to be doing something late. You have to trust your partner and you need to have respect and understanding. Just like any other relationship.

I think relationships can last no matter what barrier you put in front of them. But you have to be able to recognize when a relationship is hindering you rather then helping you. My ex and I broke up over location. After two years, I decided I didn’t want to just be in a phone relationship. We had met, we knew we could do this, but we couldn’t agree on where to make it happen. I’d probably be married to her by now with a child if we had been able to compromise on our living arrangements. She was the best first girlfriend anyone could ask for and I’m so pleased that she chose me to share herself with. My only regret is that we were not able to maintain a friendship after we broke up. 

Great topic ladies! Thanks for the video!

When it comes to LDR's, I have to disagree with Dalila (sp?)... I think it's more of a commitment and a higher level of trust... You have to really WANT it to work... Be COMPLETELY open, honest, and loyal, you HAVE to communicate... Not only does it take more effort but it also gives you more of an opportunity to be more thoughtful... It forces you to think outside the box and be more creative in your 'love making'...

About not having to deal with the everyday - I look at it as a good thing. Like, after a while, those everyday things can start to annoy the sh*t of you, but in an LDR, those cute things, that normally wear off after a while, stay cute a little longer.... lol....

I love LDRs because the time away from each other builds the anticipation... Like Gloria said that you get to plan little romantic get aways and trips to see each other. It's always fresh that way, you know? IDK, that whole, I miss you like crazy, and I can't wait to see you thing.... I love that part!

I asked my Hunnie to watch this vlog with me... I was curious to see the convo that came from it... We didn't always agree on the same thing, but it opened up a dialog... And that's the most important thing with LDRs... You HAVE to talk to each other... SURPRISES ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND!!! lol...

And one more thing... We TOTALLY schedule times to watch things together and have date nights... Internet porn and phone sex are our best friends!!!... We talk on the phone and text each other EVERYDAY... It's so important to let the other person know that you are thinking of them... That you are not so completely wrapped up in your life, wherever you are, that you forget about them... And it only works if you BOTH REALLY WANT IT TO!!!...

Love hard ladies!... See you next week! 

I'm with Gloria in that I like the build up and the anticipation. I like waiting. I like knowing someone's intentions. I'm not into sex with people that I don't know and trust. But that's me and everyone is different. I know that my sexual history has made me much less casual about sex than the majority of my peers but I don't let that phase me. I'm comfortable with me and my choices and if someone I'm with isn't then they're not the right for me and I'm not right for them.

I enjoy courting women, getting to know them better and gaining their trust. As for the ldr, I did it once but it was an open relationship because at the time I wasn't ready to commit. Now, I am waiting for my better half to come along. Single ladies leave your applications here :)   

I made an attempt at having a long distance relationship with a girl who I dated while she was in California as an exhange student. When she moved back, it didn't take long before we realized it really wasn't going to work out and it would be best to remain friends. I don't think I could get into one right now.

Btw, Nikki looks really hot.

Another lovely show ladies, and another interesting topic.

hahah Gloria.

Cherry Bomb Question: "How long should I wait to have sex?"

Gloria: "Depends if you're a whore!"

Nikki is sooooooo hott!

That is all.

I don't think I could have a long distance relationship with someone because I love the intimacy of holding hands, kissing, touching, talking and close eye contact on a daily basis with that person right in front of me in the flesh, and not on some webcam somewhere in another city/town or even another country if I can help it. The odd week or two apart is tolerable I suppose, because the whole missing them and being able to appreciate them while they’re away scenario can be healthy in relationships every now and then, yes. And if it was even just for periodical work purposes that didn’t need to occur too many times in a year, then I could probably just about hack that possible situation as well. But months or years apart like some people do, I really could not do myself. Because if I really liked someone that much, then I want to be with them, not away from them. And yeah, the letter writing might be sweet at the start, but I couldn’t really see myself keeping the romance of that up for too long.

To say that this episode was Great would be an understatement. Ldr's r good if ur the person that can do something like that i agreed with  the little care pakages and communication they work but you both have to be willing to be in the relationship seeing as you two may have stumbled onto one another and well you just cant help it when that spark hits and ur attracted to that person when u lock eyes. It's always in the eyes i feel the way they sparkle or dance when they laugh. But unfortunatley they may live farther than what you two would but if you both agree on a ldr that key things should take place trust, honesty, loyalty, commitment because that is what ur in right. Which leads me to the topic of how long do you wait before having sex with someone for me i feel that it is called making love so to make it you should feel it. Love passionately. THe word Love i feel has been thrown around too much. In order to say it u should feel it, In order make it you should feel it. I feel that if i was going to go as far as giving my heart to someone I would want them to be careful and gentle with it cause its always so hard to put it back together and get the stain out of it. I guess thats why my friends say i wear my heart on my sleeve cause i like it on the delicate cycle.

A side note the grass is not always greener on the other side it just may be you might need to water yours

Nikki was also particularly smokin hot in this episode

Can I just say that I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at the end with Arlan's myspace page.... "myspace.com/idgogayforangelina".

Awesome.

i can and i will :)

its just long distance, and i think it makes the trust grow and the times your together you appreciate much more...obviously not reallllllly far away that it would cost tons to visit, but u know...same country and stuff...i just dont seem the harm.

yes its tough because everyday you gunna wanna be with that person, but...you can make it work together i think...well i would anyways :)...its not like you will be far away forever (well if the relationship works)..i guess its personal cope and it depends on the person and the willingness of the relationship :D