by Trish Bendix

Cherry Bomb: "Cheating"

This week on Cherry Bomb, the ladies dive into cheating. Do you forgive and forget? How do you define cheating? Do you know it when you see it? Do you give a "pass" if you or your partner are tipsy? And how do you know if your partner is cheating on you?

In this week’s question: Can you be bi and a virgin?

Cherry Bomb: "Cheating"

Watch previous episodes of Cherry Bomb and check out the official Cherry Bomb MySpace page. Keep up to date with the women of Cherry Bomb by subscribing to their monthly newsletter.

Trish Bendix's blog

Submitted by

Trish Bendix

on March 13, 2009 - 1:00pm.

TAGS ::

Yay- I love fridays!

Submitted by

Daria89 (48 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 1:05pm.

Oh, Cherry Bomb, how I love thee :)

EDIT: First- woop woop!

ah fridays.

Submitted by

emily (355 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 1:36pm.

its good to know im not the only person in the world who isnt ok with cheating these days. it seems like all my friends are perfectly ok with it. actually i used to be fine with it until that was the main reason my parents split up. seeing how it effects the other person and their family is very rough. therefore i wouldnt allow myself to ever to that to anyone. oh and no way do i give passes for being drunk.

sisters?

Submitted by

Madelene (184 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 1:52pm.

Haha I think Gloria and Nikki are "sisters from another mother";)

And god, I got to find a british lady so I can hear that accent all the time.

Awesome ep!

Submitted by

Low-Ren-Zo. (1709 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 1:53pm.

Haven't watched in a while. Gloria..do you realize you're like, my favorite? I don't think you do. You're my favorite.

I wouldn't give passes away for being drunk if I was into all of that...I don't mind her screwing someone else; just be honest about it and tell me first, and be safe...and don't fall in love with th eother person cuz THAT woudl hurt my feelings.

___ __ _____ __ _____ _ ___ _ ____ _

I dangled my participle in her fragment and stretched it into a run-on.

http://ichasethedevil.blogspot.com

Hi Ladies !!

Submitted by

Leenaomi (302 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 2:51pm.

Tatum, Dalila, Gloria and Nikki, Hello Ladies !!!

Haven't taking the time since the beginning of the 2nd season to post a comment, But I haven't missed 1 episode.Ladies, You DELIVER every week. I'm a fan! I'm always entertain and learning something. I really <3 you girls. Re this ep. : I know that I'm not in love when I don't mine that the person I'm seeing is fooling around with someone else. I'm not saying that it is how I find out if I'm in love or not. But if we are in a relationship NO PASS is aloud! Thus if something (physical or not) did happen, we have to be truthful to each other. That way you show me (or I’ll be showing you) that this relationship is more important than your ego, you show me that you trust the feeling we have for each other and hope and are willing to work for the trust to come back and the relationship to grow stronger.Yet again ladies, great ep. Have a nice week-end.

Vegas

Submitted by

Anonymous

on March 13, 2009 - 2:55pm.

"STDs don't stay in Vegas" - Tatum (So true)

"What happens in Vegas comes back to Brookyln" - Gloria

I love Gloria, haha.

I feel like that would make a great T-shirt.

I'm a relaxed,laidback

Submitted by

SH (154 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 3:38pm.

I'm a relaxed,laidback person. But I was in a relationship with someone who,like Tatum said, a bully who is controlling, likes to make me jealous and feeds from me being jealous. Always making me sound crazy about her cheating but LOVES tt I presume she is cheating and making me all jealous and upset, and when she says smth nice, I don't even believe it. Made me feel tt I was the lesser one and I shld appreciate having the chance to even be with her.(She was cheating on me, which she denied until the end) Basically, I was in an emotionally abusive rs which totally screwed me up. I'm now still paranoid about cheating and having trust issues, paralyzed with jealousy which even makes me queasy but I can't help it. I;m slowly getting over these issues about myself, even now.

Because it's such a waste to be so paranoid, crazy and jealous of things the next gf won't ever do to you even if ur past gf did tt, which will damage a potentially good rs

No forgiveness for cheaters

Submitted by

Penny Winterr (821 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 4:25pm.

No forgiveness for cheaters. Ever.

If you cheat, you have no honor. If you have no honor, you get no respect.

Deal.

Thankyou for saying it!

Submitted by

Brutal_Romance (416 posts)

on March 15, 2009 - 11:44am.

I agree with you 100%.

If your partner cheats on you, then there is definetly a problem.

If they try to hide it, then its a dilemma that is beyond repair.

If they have done it more than once then whatever you have with them is dead and hopless.

words I live by.

I'd be inclined to agree with you...

Submitted by

Thane McAllister (158 posts)

on March 16, 2009 - 12:48pm.

…if I hadn't strayed once or twice myself; I mean, it's crazy to think that you can remain faithful to one person for more than (I don't know) three years. people get bored and move on...it's sad but true. Granted, only losers stay in relationships when they know they're ready to move on, but that's almost every person ever! most people can attest, it's a little difficult to keep the proverbial fires burning for an extended amount of time. That’s why it bums me out when women-lesbians especially-cling to the notion that "true love" exists when it doesn't. Reality check: people are selfish; if they see something they want, they're gonna take it and that includes hot chicks with kissable lips and [*expletive] hot bodies...the best we can do is hope the next one treats us right, or at the very least has the decency to keep it from us…

***No, you came out wrong...shut it DOWN!***

I want you to judge me, plz...

Submitted by

Wickedlitllegirl (36 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 5:57pm.

I am so bisexual and my boyfriend knows it.

I ve been dating him for 10 y. I have never cheated on him. He is str8 and he cheated on me 3 times:

Once with an ex blond model girlfriend of his - gorgeous women I hate her.

I ve known it, forgiven him, but never forgotten.

When I asked him, he said: I always go back home to you.

Now, if I read afterellen, look at a hot girl on the streets, go to my GYM, feel horny FOR the girls there, watch girls kiss and melt... Am I cheating?????? OMG there was a Playboy mag outdoor near my home I almost had an accident with my car.

I cant control feeling horny for woman, MAN!!!!! Specially when I am having sex at home, If I am having I am having once a week!!!!!!! ONCE A FREAKING WEEK!!!

I am freaking out... He wants to have sex once a week. I want to have sex everyday!!! Am I addicted?

PLZ JUDGE, THIS IS JUDGEMENT DAY HERE!!!

P.S: I AM SO BRAZILIAN AND YES I LOVE SEX! FUCK.

Its natural

Submitted by

Scarlett Honey (10 posts)

on August 23, 2009 - 10:47pm.

Honey, do not blame yourself for feeling unfillfilled in your relationship, you cant help it! Wanting sex everyday does NOT mean you are a sex addict - I couldnt be happy with having sex only once a week either!

1st. I think you are being way too forgiving/generous to him for cheating on you THREE times. Obviously, since uve taken him back so many times, he knows he can get away with it, so he will probably do it again and again in the future.

2nd. If you want to fuck women so much that its sending you crazy, and especially since he isn't satisfying you in bed, AND since he's strayed himself, I think you have every right to do what you need to do and fuck whoever you want whenver you want. If it's going to give you peace of mind/body and make you sexually satiated, then you should let yourself have some fun. live a little! Although I have to say, your relationship to this cheating bastard does not sound like very healthy or happy, so if i were you, id say good riddance and enjoy yourself without him holding you back.

And dont feel bad about this, because he can excuse himself for cheating on you "Oh but honey i always come home to you, so you should just forgive me..." then that means his own principles can aply to both of you. You can say to him "Honey, you cant keep up with my sex drive, so, like you, im gunna go and have some fun with other people, but dont worry, ill always come home to you. Deal." Unless he really thinks its okay to have such double standards and be such a hypocrite, he's going to have to admit that you have just as much right to play around and then expect the other person to forgive them, as he does with you.

Life is too short to be restricted by another person or feel disatisfied and unfulffilled, in any capacity. Enjoy yourself, and stop letting this guy walk all over you and dictate your life!!!

Good luck hun, xo :)

I HATE BEING BI

Submitted by

Wickedlitllegirl (36 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 6:04pm.

I HATE BEING BI IT SUCKS, WHEN I DO NOT SUCK. SOBBING

really good episode!

Submitted by

katk (16 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 6:23pm.

really good episode!

Good Topic To Discuss

Submitted by

Anonymous

on March 13, 2009 - 7:33pm.

www.myspace.com/lunakiss7.com

I want to say how I love these adult conversations here on this vblog. Good topic and it's nice to see how each one of you feel about cheating. Cheating was the sole reason I called it quits with my ex. Oh, I can't stand liars. Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I rather for my gf to be upfront about her cheating so I can be upfront about me leaving. Plus Karma is a Queen B.

I love how

Submitted by

eve_jig_it (684 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 9:09pm.

I love how even when the topic is serious (because cheating is a serious issue to me) that the episode and convo in it can still be very humourous. I loved it!

cheers!

.."The joy of success is in the struggle"..

My ex-girlfriend had an

Submitted by

Maria (37 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 10:12pm.

My ex-girlfriend had an extensive history of cheating. In fact, she cheated on just about everyone she had dated before me. During our relationship sometimes she insisted on spending time with her ex, whom she had cheated on her previous girlfriend with. Then I would tell her that it worried me and she would just berate me for being judgmental and paranoid. And really, was I? Is it that wrong to suspect foul play from someone who has been unfaithful in nearly every single one of their relationships?

Not its not wrong which is

Submitted by

Tmboy (62 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 11:14pm.

Not its not wrong which is why you probably shouldn't date these people. There will never be trust and with out trust... what is the point. Esp. that chick that doesnt seem to understand why you would have a problem. People that go on the defensive about things like that usually have something to hide.

THIS

Submitted by

Yunique (32 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 10:27pm.

is the best show on AE. hands down.

1) Wow Dalila "hi" LOL 2)

Submitted by

Tmboy (62 posts)

on March 13, 2009 - 11:12pm.

1) Wow Dalila "hi" LOL

2) Never forgive cheaters under any circumstances. If you can't control yourself when intoxicated DON'T get intoxicated. I am a very trusting person BUT once you have lost my trust there are no second chances.

3) It's not the sex part that hurts its all the little lies that were told everyday in attempts for it to happen or for you to hide it.

Don't

Submitted by

Viva (2396 posts)

on March 14, 2009 - 3:30am.

stray away from those extracurricular activities now ladies, cause they give more appeal to your Resume(s). It's like J'Lo's booty, is it neccessary for your lover to have one like that? no, but it'll be nice, right? lol j/k on a serious note, trust is definitely the most important part of any relationship or agreement, so like Gloria said, understanding your part of the agreement should really keep you in check. So, if extracurriculars aren't your thing, tell her and maybe she'll add a new clause in the agreement, and you go on and live happily ever after lol. And I second that Best Vlog comment. Rock on! and for you Tatum, Cheerio! lol

cheating hmmm

Submitted by

paradisesofar (113 posts)

on March 14, 2009 - 12:44pm.

I have been the other women... I have been cheated on... I have open relationshiped..

To me its about being confident in yourself I am currently dating a bi-sexual fresh out of the closet n I understand her confusion and need to act of how she feels.. its a completly open relationship n i am confident enough to know that I am worth it.. N if she needs to get her confusion out then do so... But be honest tell me about it n its all good..

I have been cheated on, I know it.. Though they have no idea I know it.. I was also the other women for 3 years before that.. So to me cheating is about honesty and boundires and confidence.. if ur confident to know you and what you deserve then you know what u can put up with.. N if ur honest with ur partner, you can really work through things.. either realize u just arent into the relationship anymore n leave! or realize it was a mistake..

so true

Submitted by

Painterly (379 posts)

on March 14, 2009 - 3:56pm.

if ur confident to know you and what you deserve then you know what u can put up with..

Yes, it's really a matter of the standards you set for yourself mainly, that matter. What you consider your worth as far as allowing other people to stomp on you or not. I think setting standards with your partner are VERY important. Honesty and communication with your partner is KEY.

I am at a point now, where I do set standards, but if a relationship falls through, I will be the bigger person for myself always, and gently let them go, I deserve happiness. I also think that each and every relationship we have, we get to learn something from them and I'm grateful for each and every one. I take the good from it, and leave the bad.

i dont get open relationships

Submitted by

poison_ivy (19 posts)

on March 20, 2009 - 1:26pm.

it just doesnt make sense.. why would you call it a relationship if its acceptable to be with other people.

loved this episode! Gloria is def my fav

open relationships

Submitted by

Brutal_Romance (416 posts)

on March 15, 2009 - 11:59am.

I honestly have great admiration for anyone who could pull it off. I tried it once, and it was for the last time too. It was such a big mess it tires me just thinking about it. I am a very jealous person and with great pride, and to live with someone who goes off into everyone's pants after being done with me and tells me about it by the end of the day was pure torture.

I rather have more secure relationships with clear boundaries, no cheating pass whatsoever. and if they disrespect me enough to attempt it, then I dont think i can have the heart to forgive them. It is just the greatest insult anyone can throw at you, and from the closest person too, your own lover!!

Love it!

Submitted by

crzyblues329 (25 posts)

on March 15, 2009 - 11:05pm.

thanks love the episode..tatum-made a really good point of how our society say it's ok to cheat with the whole vegas bit never thought of it like that...thanks for the show love it it's the only show i tune into everyweek

thanks ladies, yet another

Submitted by

Ray Ray (4 posts)

on March 17, 2009 - 1:30am.

thanks ladies, yet another informative vlog.

cheaters...or should I say liars...

Submitted by

digiblizzo (5 posts)

on March 23, 2009 - 2:33pm.

....plain and simple

u want me...I want u

now when the time comes that u no longer want me and/or vice versa...then itz time to communicate that vibe just like the original "I'm diggin' you" vibe

plain....simple

and that's TRUE love if you respect the your future ex by telling her that you aren't feeling her anymore....

cheating is an excuse for not willing to be honest...so for me cheaters are losers and liars who need to grow up!! lolol!!

To the surprise question girl

Submitted by

Judith (30 posts)

on March 29, 2009 - 9:03am.

I'm a little late, but I just want to agree with Tatum. I had a very similar experience to yours - I knew I was bi at 16 and my mother said I could only know once I'd been with a girl. Not sex, but dating at least. What's funny is that didn't apply to a guy! She just assumed that I liked guys because I'd said they were cute and liked boybands when I was younger. So I had a girlfriend at 17 and she said okay, you're bi, I'm sorry, you're right. I figured I could never be a lesbian because of my mom's reasoning - the boybands, the thinking boys were cute, all that. I know now that it was socially imposed, but I didn't then. So I had a boyfriend for a year and a half, and later had sex with another couple of guys, and realised that just wasn't ideal for me and I didn't want it anymore, so at 21 I started identifying as a lesbian. The point is, whatever you identify as is valid. It may change based on your dating/romance/sexual experiences at some point in the future, but you get to choose what you are now, and others shouldn't question that. If friends keep saying that, just take Tatum's advice and tell them that okay, then I guess you can't be straight until you have sex with a guy.

Welcome to AfterEllen.com!

by Trish Bendix

Cherry Bomb: "Cheating"