I have to admit I hug women who are squishy or have more cushion firmer than I hug women who don't.The simple reason being that bone on bone as with non-cushiony women hurts,can cause brusing and isn't as comfortable.It's the same reason why I hate when men slam their hard muscled chest against my boobied chest when they hug me.Ouch!

Make sense!

so I'm kinda tomboyish, and i don't hug women because, like Hanifah said, women get all shady and give you a half-assed hug..and i feel dirty and grimy after that so i just avoid it altogether. She mentioned that even more masculine women have a hard time hugging; wher ei'm from (deep souf) it's even worse with more masculine women because they feel 'gay' hugging another masculine woman (because again, the heteronormative thing you were talking abuot; two men hugging, blah. WAYYY too much to get into; save for another day, lol) But yeah. I don't mind my gayness but sometimes to keep from gettin shot down (which i hate more than anything in life) I do the 'let's not scare the straight folk!' thing and keep my hands to myself.

And yeah i could never ask to touch a hot set of tits. LOL so Kudos to you, Olive.

and Hanifah..my girlfriend will give you enough hugs for all the women wh oever gave you half-assed hugs. Lol

 

I got a dick like a mule...with a big dick.

I would try to avoid thoes situations by hanging back and joining in After the hugs are done.

 

+ I Like Chips! Chips Are Yummy!+

Before I settle in with new people I mostly like to shake thier hand rather than hug, its old fashion and doesn't always work and I have to hug anyway but the reason I like it the first couple of times I meet someone is....you can look the person in the eye/face while greeting them and not over thier shoulder. I like looking at peoples faces when I'm meeting them for the first couple of times.

I'm not sure it that is hetro whatever or not...its just me (and I'm deffinatly not hetro). Bet Olive would have none of my handshakingness! but still I'd rather look her in the face than give her a squish until we got to know about each other...to me it feels better inside, I like the light in peoples eyes. Sometimes I shake hands with my best friends just because I like the excuse to look right in thier eyes, then I hug.

One thing is when I'm ready to hug someone, its a hug good and strong usally with a little extra hand action to make it personal...no generic hugs from me. I hate generic hugs the most, hugs should be special, an unique personful hug that is as individual as the light in your eyes or your face.

Hanifah I think you should just step forward and hug, a nice squishy hug. I'm not so sure its hetero-normitive to take stock of how a person wants to be greeted ( I like it if people notice I don't always want to be generic hugin') and I always take a sec to see if a butcher looking women wants to be all touchy feelly or not...I just think that's respect of the person not hetro. Equally not all fem looking lesbians want to be hugged on all the time by people they don't know yet. I think you got to try to be sensitive. If a butch or fem women came right up and gave me a squishy hug then I'd know wouldn't I (even if I did want to be shaking hands the first couple of times).

But the most important part about greeting people no matter how it plays out is not to be half hearted because for a few minutes you are directly hooked up with thier feelings.

It's a shame that we can't be more physical without being sexual with one another or put off.

 

I'm not a hugger. I wish I was, though-- Actually I wish I was more like both Olive and Hanifah... I LOVE the way you two express yourselves, it turns me on.  The only thing I can think to say is that most people(in my life's experience) do not possess this positive and genuine energy that you do. Generally people are inhibited emotionally, aren't they? I am, anyway.

I don't participate in the queer social scene(aka I don't get out) so this is actually new to me: Hetero-normative behaviour. If only I had anything to add to this discussion.

But anyway, really great vlog! 

well i can be around alot people and some one will hug everyone but me ......i mean it

light half hearted hugs to everyone i meet unless we've been cool forever: cuz str8 womenfolk don't wanna go there anyway till they find i am teddy bearish and smell nice then its another story so there's that, femmes love to squish me and i like that but i don't wish to seem overzealous(yall must know thats a dead giveaway),then i just give the handshake/lean-in/hug combo to all dudes even if their arms are wide open, not because of any other reason then habit,and i've noticed that i just get a wassup from butch/futch chicks like me or the ever popular lean-in,pat the back real hard twice kinda thing.all that to say i DO like a hug there is nothing wrong wit dat but, then again i ain't exactly touchy feely either so there ya go. LADYJ.   

i'm not sure if that's my gaydar or my fire alarm ringing but,its hot as hades in here......."ladyj"

I can COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from. The difference is I'm a femme.. I am a very affectionate person by nature and feel that I can't always be myself around other straight OR les women b/c my touchy-feely side may offend someone. I get a lot of handshakes. What's up w that?!  I am a HUGGER! I WANT/NEED HUGS!! My gf (a very beautiful femme too) is also very touchy-feely and we have a hard time when around our friends b/c we are fearful that our 'nature' will be mistaken for something sexual. It truly annoys me b/c we, too, LOVE LOVE LOVE the relationships that we as women build. So, is this the same as hetero-Normativity?? I'll head to the website to discuss more..

I'm gone go ahead and admit that it is some hetero-normative ish.  I feel uncomfortable with any kind of unwanted "male" sexual energy or touching. It's the objectification angle and they way men tend to ignore when you're not open to it and are just out to get whatever the *&%$ stroke (sexual, emotional, ego, WHATEVER) they want at your expense. Some women carry that around with them or have a 'manish' creepy and/or aggressive vibe that men have and that's not fun.  I think even if I know you, and you're carrying that, I'm not going to go there. Maybe it's also cause I get ALL KINDS of intrusive ish cause of the way I look and then I get villified , accosted, assaulted, for owning my body, like the way I look makes me public property.

On a side note, anybody wanna talk another, possibly related, experience?  Anyone else have other people (who don't know you) try to tell you who you want??? I would give more  details, but it's complicated. I can give examples in a forum. If you want hints, it's always a 3rd party who doesn't know me, but projects I should be attracted to someone I don't even find attractive in the objective sense.

i wish americans would be more comfortable with physical affection in platonic relationships. another reason i loved "the strokes" was that they were never afraid to be affectionate with each other and people confused it as gay but they were just being buddies in the way europeans feel comfortable being buddies.