NO WONDER SHE WANTED TO SHIMMY AT SHEBAR
A couple of weeks ago, we reported that Marlee Matlin was rumored to be joining the cast of Dancing With the Stars. This week, ABC announced that the L Word knockout will indeed be strapping on her dancin’ shoes for the upcoming sixth season.

To the people who cluelessly consider this an odd move for the deaf actress, Matlin says her hearing won't be a factor in taking the top prize. As she wrote on her official MySpace page, groove is in the heart:

Really, for me and the other 26 million deaf and hard-of-hearing people out there, the only thing we CAN'T do is hear. The rest is all possible.

And considering the other contestants include used-to-be-famous buffoons Steve Guttenberg, Penn Jillette and Adam Carrolla, she'll probably do very well indeed.

Unfortunately, her partner in paso doble won’t be Dean Porter. How hot would that be? Jennifer Beals in a tux! This photo from the Go magazine L Word premiere party proves that a Beals-Matlin duo would love the night life:

And they could also be adorable when embarrassed:

Instead, Matlin will be quickstepping with professional ballroom dancer Fabian Sanchez, who, despite not participating in previous DWTS seasons, was the 2006 U.S. Mambo Champion. And Matlin's female competition is fierce: It includes Olympic skater Kristi Yamaguchi and tennis champ Monica Seles (how great was she in the '90s?). Emmitt Smith, Apolo Anton Ohno and Laila Ali are all evidence of athletes’ ability to bring it to the dance floor on this show, but I predict Matlin's toughest opponent will be Tony Award–winning actress Marissa Jaret Winokur, from the original cast of Hairspray on Broadway. Girlfriend can work the “Peyton Place After Midnight” moves!

The joint will start jumping March 17.