Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (July 20, 2007)

ADVANCED WEAPONS OF MASS SEDUCTION?
The USA channel announced that they've just picked up a new action comedy, To Love and Die, starring Shiri Appleby (Roswell) as Hildy, a young woman who tracks down the father she never knew, James White (played by Tim Matheson), only to discover that he's a contract killer. One of White's associates, Eddie (Christine Adams), is a "bisexual technical genius whose skill in creating advanced weapons and high-tech gadgets often comes in handy when planning and executing her boss's latest hit."

Adams' past credits include the films Batman Begins (2005) and Eye of the Dolphin (2005), and the BBC series Home Again. Here's a look at her:

AfterEllen.com spoke to executive producer Andrew Singer, who told us that while the character of Eddie does not have a love interest in the pilot episode, this doesn't mean that she won't have one in subsequent episodes. In fact, Singer said, it's definitely possible that she'll eventually have a relationship with a woman. He added that the character of Eddie doesn't necessarily identify as bisexual so much as she doesn't want to "limit her possibilities."

In other words, she could tell us that she's bisexual, but the she'd have to kill us.

USA begins shooting the series in September, and it is scheduled to air in 2008 with 12 episodes.

CAN SHE GET THAT BOTTLE OF RUM TO GO?
Last night, out lesbian contestant Elicia "Jupiter" Mendoza was the eighth buccaneer-in-training to be voted off the CBS reality show Pirate Master. Mendoza, a bartender from Los Angeles, had been functioning as the chef for her crew, but in her final episode, what she cooked was her own goose.

When her perpetually disgruntled crew harped about their leaders and mentioned mutiny as an option, Jupiter tried to warn the captain (Azmyth) about the dangers of alienating his fellow pirates. But her warning was taken as a threat, and Jupiter soon received one of the dreaded "black spots" that indicated she was being considered for elimination.

When given the chance to defend herself, she told the crew:

Blessings captain, I didn't realize that there were so many issues between you and I, Azmyth ... I'm shocked. Which is great, it's really, really good to know. When I said I wanted change, it's because I do. I'm ready for change. Change is wonderful. Switch it up a little. Add a little bit of spice. But I stand by your side. I will never mutiny against you. I'm just ready for some change. I love you — all of you.  I feel as though I've put myself out there for you guys to see who I am. But I'm ready to better myself so that I remain on the ship because I love being here.

Her mateys then switched it up by unanimously voting her out of the competition. Jupiter took the news with typical Zen-like acceptance, but said: "I am surprised that I got cut adrift. Azmyth has changed because of his position and his power. I'm shocked. I have from day one had Azmyth's back, but you can't always expect people to treat you the way that you treat them."

While she wasn't made to walk the plank, Jupiter was banished by being set adrift on a small wooden raft. She boarded it and assumed a yoga pose as she sailed into the darkness.

How do you say "namasté" in pirate-ese?