Hilary Swank: three-time Golden Globe nominee, two-time Academy Award winner, one-time Ellen DeGeneres impersonator.

Yes, you read that last bit right. Lesbian twinsies syndrome can strike in the most unexpected places.

The acclaimed Boys Don't Cry and Million Dollar Baby star dropped by Ellen's show Monday and darn it if I wasn't seeing double. … continue reading

French women and Hilary Swank don't get fat. How is that possible? Well, I'm not quite sure as I haven't read the book, but I assume it has something to do with personal trainers and metabolisms. Over two million copies of French Women Don't Get Fat have been sold worldwide, and Swank is obviously a fan, as she's purchased the rights to adapt it for the big screen.

Swank and producing partner Molly Smith (pictured below at the premiere of Swank's film P.S. I Love You) own 2S Films, and together they will develop and co-produce the feature film. The actress is rumored to star in the movie as well, but nothing has been confirmed.

Screenwriter Heather Hach will be adapting the book, and based on her track record (the Freaky Friday remake starring Lindsay Lohan and the Legally Blonde musical) it seems as if the film will be loosely based on its original text. Hach is also working on a Freaky Friday sequel, which I think should bring back Lohan and Jodie Foster, who both played the daughters in their respective FF versions. Really, I'm casting a different film in my head that stars the both of them. (I'll leave it at that.) … continue reading

I have an Academy Awards fantasy. This Sunday, when the presenter opens the envelope for Best Achievement in Directing, I envision audible gasps, then stunned silence and, finally, thunderous applause when un-nominated Kasi Lemmons benefits from a secret write-in campaign and wins for Talk to Me.

And then, for the hell of it, Sarah Polley wins an Honorable Mention for Away From Her.

I suspect, however, that one of the actual nominees will win. (I'm pulling for Jason Reitman — Juno.) But this does not change the sad truth that sometimes the best movies and performers do not get nominated, and sometimes the absolutely wrong performers and movies win.

It can be pretty tough to figure out the logic. For example, my brother noted that the longest — read poorly edited — movies often win Best Editing. (As he elaborated, “All 28 hours of The English Patient beat Fargo in 1997.) And the acting nominees sometimes reflect the most offensive scenery-chewing.

Of course, my brother and I are not the only ones to spew righteous indignation about the state of Academy Awards affairs. I recently read a pretty good list of the Worst Oscars Ever, some of which I agreed with and some of which I disagreed with. And this led me to compile my own list of Academy Awards Travesties — the performers and movies that stole the awards that should have rightfully gone to more deserving others. … continue reading

Two-time Academy Award winner Hilary Swank has a new film opening this Friday: P.S. I Love You.

That sounds so cute, but P.P.S. that's what worries me. Why, oh why, do so many Oscar-winning actors immediately turn their professional attentions to the supernatural, or superhero, or save-the-world teacher, or in this case pseudo-paranormal tripe, after receiving that famous golden statue? Are they so blinded by its shiny little bald head that their vision is impaired to the point that they can't see how poorly scripted many of these followup projects are? Or how sappy the concepts are? Or how vapid and cliché the stories can be? Whatever it is, it sure does happen often. Charlize Theron — Aeon Flux? Halle Berry — Catwoman? Nicole Kidman — Birth? The Stepford Wives? Bewitched? Kevin Spacey — K-PAX? Yikes! … continue reading

Boo! Did I scare you? No, well, fine. But I do know a scary secret. Lean close, I'll tell you. Closer. A bit closer. Boo! OK, come on, that time I had to scare you, just a little. Actually, this news is probably only truly terrifying to the actresses whose dirty little secrets I’m about to spill. You see, before they were screen queens, these ladies were all scream queens. Sure, they’re all big Oscar winners, A-listers and TV stars now. But at the start of their careers, they were just glorified bait. Here's a look at 10 actresses' horrific early careers.

Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, 1978): Like mother, like daughter. Jamie Lee followed in her mom Janet Leigh’s bloody footprints by squaring off with a Psycho killer. But at least Jamie got to live to fight another day, albeit two decades later in Halloween H20. … continue reading

The New York Post's Page Six — and thus every other Hollywood gossip blog, so you might have already seen this — is reporting that Hilary Swank has accepted a role in an upcoming biopic of Amelia Earhart. Apparently, Swank made the announcement at a party for her Guerlain fragrance, My Insolence, when her people ducked out of the festivities to take the call.

I'm excited about the prospect of an Earhart movie — a story can't get much more cinematic in scope — even if I'm a little ambivalent about the casting. Swank does look a little like Earhart:

And having Swank attached to the project is like announcing Oscar ambitions before the filming ever starts. But I don't know; the movies she's in are good (except for that one) but I can't say I've loved any of them. And I really want to love this one. … continue reading

In this week's video blog, Lori and I discuss the cinematic women who've saved the world from impending doom — because nothing's hotter than a woman who chases tornadoes, electrocutes evil sharks, or creates a lot of complicated mathematical charts and graphs!

Since not everyone's as big of a disaster movie nut as Lori is, we're giving you a video cheat-sheat on the disaster movies with the best female leads: Saffron Burrows creates the perfect killing machine and then tries to undo it in Deep Blue Sea, Hilary Swank goes on a mission to jump-start the earth's motor in The Core, Vivica Fox rescues the First Lady from an alien attack in Independence Day, Shelley Winters does some deep-sea diving in Poseidon Adventure, Kim Delaney saves California from falling into the ocean in 10.5 and 10.5 Apocalypse, Kate Winslet floats in Titanic, and Anne Heche and Linda Hamilton duck lava bombs in Volcano and Dante's Peak.

All while slinging witty one-liners and sporting just the right kind of sexy mussy hairdo! (Um, them, not us - although we do make sarcastic comments in our vlog, and Lori does occasionally have a whisp of hair out of place.)

Because we've upgraded our software, we now have nifty new theme music! You'll also be happy to know the snarky captions are back; unfortunately, the new video editing software doesn't come with a spell-checker, so you'll notice a few typos. But life's too short to do it all over just because Hilary Swank insists on spelling her name with only one "l". (Although I don't have an excuse for leaving the "i" out of "premiere", except I had that old saying "there's no 'I' in "team" stuck in my head. You can blame my basketball coach for that.)

Besides commentary on the movies, you'll also learn about how I narrowly escaped a tornado in Fargo, North Dakota; why Lori believes mentoring is important even in the face of world annihilation; and why we're both hoping we're in New York when Mt. Rainier finally blows.

Watch the vlog here now! … continue reading

It's not just 13-year-old kids who get themselves into trouble on MySpace. When director Jon Favreau thanked Caesars in Las Vegas for "for their hospitality, generosity, and Swank accomodations" after an Iron Man shoot, that capital S in "Swank" fueled speculations that Hilary Swank would appear in the film. This week, producer Avi Arad was shocked into admitting Swank will make an Iron Man "cameo" (along with Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, if you're a comic fan who cares).

The bigger news: a drop-in role in Iron Man has everybody speculating that Swank (and Jackson) may be earning superhero creds now for a bigger starring role in some future Marvel franchise. She certainly can beef up enough to be convincing: … continue reading

Hey, Helen Mirren, can I bend your ear for a moment? I have one of those bone thingies to pick with you. Seriously, sit down. We need to talk.

… continue reading

Listen, I know you just won the Oscar and are probably still basking in its post-coital embrace. But at times like these, it is important not to lose one's head.