Um, hi House. Yeah, thing is, I want my 20 seconds back. Yes, those 20 seconds. Yes, I timed them. Those 20 seconds of good stuff. Those 20 seconds you cut from the smoking hot promos compared to what actually aired on American television.

The 20 seconds that include the removal of tops, unbuttoning of pants, kissing of stomachs and breathless, carnal uttering of something like “come here.”

Don't be coy with me. You know you cut them. They looked like this:

Last night's episode of House, both ironically and un-ironically titled “Lucky Thirteen,” featured the first real physical evidence of Thirteen's (Olivia Wilde) bisexuality as she slept with and then had to treat a female one-night stand. The woman was played by Angela Gots, who many will remember from The L Word as Cammie the “gay for pay” actress whom portrayed Shane/Shaun in the meta headache known as Lez Girls. … continue reading

There are certain things that I know exist, but never want to see. The clubbing of baby seals. The exact ingredients in a hot dog. The sex life of 38-year-old shock rocker Marilyn Manson and his 19-year-old girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood.

Tragically, it's too late for me on the latter. Though, if it were possible, I would pull a Superman and fly around the world to turn back time and then, right at the moment when I was about to hit "play," poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick instead. Because, believe me, that kind of "My eye! My eye!" pain would be preferable to the real "My eyes! Sweet fancy Moses, my eyes!" pain I experienced when I foolishly watched Marilyn Manson's latest video, "Heart Shaped Glasses." … continue reading