The inaugural NewNowNext Awards show was a relatively informal and somewhat irreverent affair, much like what the MTV Music Video Awards show was to the Grammy Awards before the MTV Awards show itself morphed into an industry circle jerk a pop culture institution. Until the fledgling NewNowNext Awards show inevitably evolves into an impenetrable dynasty where Cirque du Soleil performs above a tuxedoed audience of thousands, Julie Goldman gives shout-outs to Cristal instead of Bud Light, and the hoi polloi must bribe a bouncer named Rolf just to get a peek past the velvet rope, you can catch its humble beginnings in its entirety here.

Now, what would an awards show – especially a gay awards show — be without some commentary on fashion?

The pre-show included a brief run-down of what people were wearing by host Gloria Bigelow. First, let’s take a gander at gay it-boy Christian Siriano, purveyor of the post-mullet. After going through a short list of gay fashion “don’ts,” which included boys in leggings (especially horrid if your thighs have more meat than a No. 2 pencil, apparently), Mr. Siriano announced that the new trend for this season is satin, pointing gleefully at his own blindingly reflective satin shirt, of course.

Since there is an unspoken rule that one is never to wear an outfit worn to an awards show more than once, what is poor Christian supposed to do with that shirt after the show? No worries. I think I may have a utilitarian purpose for the shirt. If you place that shirt in a satellite dish, it can serve as a solar reflector. You can use it to roast hot dogs or just to burn shit for fun. Now, that’s hot — really hot.

The Dazzle Dancers, whose purpose was to make everyone else look fashionable, appears to have worn the scraps that remained of Beyonce’s 2007 Golden Globes dress after said dress was fed to a pack of pit bulls. … continue reading

OK, "Come on, Get Happy" — otherwise known as the Partridge Family Theme Song — is from the '70s, not the '80s. But if you were listening to music in the 80s, you have to admit that a lot of it was up-tempo, pretty happy stuff. With that in mind, several months ago, the Stuck in the '80s blog asked readers to submit the happiest songs of the '80s. The readers submitted their suggestions and the site winnowed them down to the 80 happiest songs of the 1980s.

I was an adolescent in the '80s, so I'm reasonably familiar with the music of the decade. Consequently, some of the songs that made the list perplex me. For example, I certainly like No. 32 "Jenny 867-5309" (Tommy Tutone) but I don't know that I'd call this song about obsession with a stranger happy. And I probably wouldn't include Cheap Trick's similarly themed "She's Tight" (No. 25). I might be OK with the inclusion of Irene Cara's "What a Feeling" (No. 21) if I didn't associate it with my grandfather's death. But I definitely cannot see the Violent Femmes' "Blister in the Sun" in the top 10. I mean, it's a great song, but not the 10th happiest song of the 1980s.

Had I been compiling their list, I would have dictated some basic criteria for inclusion:

1. The lyrics need to be positive and upbeat.
2. The music needs to be light and up-tempo. It should probably make you want to dance.
3. The video (this was the decade of the music video) should reinforce the happiness inherent in the song.

Of course, after being critical, I had to compile my own mini-list of the happiest songs of the '80s. So here they are — in no particular order — starting with the ones the Stuck in the '80s blog got right:

"New Song" – Howard Jones

This was No. 1 on the Stuck in the '80s list, which is higher than I would have rated it. But there's no denying that it is a happy, upbeat, quintessentially '80s song. The video not only features classic '80s hair and clothes, but also includes a chained mime who seems awfully happy to be there.

"Girls Just Want to Have Fun" – Cyndi Lauper

Stuck in the '80s brings this one in at No. 5, and I definitely agree with it's inclusion in the top 10. This was Cyndi Lauper's first big hit, and its title spawned a happy movie with Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt.

And the video, featuring her real-life mother and wrestler, Captain Lou Albano, was a huge hit and a veritable happy-fest. The irreverence, the dancing, the big party … all of this screams HAPPY. … continue reading

So, if you watched last night’s telecast of the 50th Grammy Awards, you probably have some questions. Questions like, who is that guy, and why did he steal Amy Winehouse’s Grammy for Best Album of the Year? Or how is it that the Beatles won only four Grammys when they were together, while Fergie already has three? Or did Amy really thank her husband as “my Blake incarcerated” in her acceptance speech? Yes, yes she did. So without further ado, here are some of your most burning (though hopefully not itching) Grammy questions revealed.

Q: How it is it that the most electrifying performer in the room wasn’t even in the room?

A: Visa problems kept The Winehouse 5,500 miles away in London, but she still electrified via satellite with a performance that was equal parts raw, campy, sassy and defiant. Plus, she brought the one thing the somewhat stodgy awards affair sorely lacked — the air of unpredictability. God bless you, Amy Winehouse. Now get back to rehab and get better. … continue reading

When it comes to videos, I'm old. I remember the premiere of Friday Night Videos, and even before that (and even before MTV), I watched something called FM-TV (later Teletunes) on a local public access channel. It was such a thrill to stay up late and enter that strange new world. My sister even figured out how to hook up our clunky TV to the stereo so we could enjoy bizarre bands like Les Rita Mitsouko in high fidelity.

And just as the age of music video was dawning, so was my baby dykedom. Here are some '80s videos that helped me explore my newfound appreciation for the fairer sex. (Note to the PMRC types: I'm not really saying these videos made me gay; just that these women are totally worth going gay for, if that were possible.)

1. The Eurythmics, "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" (1983) … continue reading

As you are all aware, my satellite dish is dead. Many of you have been kind enough to offer suggestions on how to pass the time and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. For that I am grateful.

One such suggestion led me to my closet and the collection of old junior high and high school memorabilia kept in old Adidas boxes. I thought it might be fun to reminisce about a time when I was still convinced boys were worth dating but couldn't figure out why I got butterflies in my belly when I talked to some of my female friends. It was a time of parachute pants and big hair. Yes, ladies, I'm talking about the 1980s.

Going through my pile of '80s junk could only be complete with some tunes to help me through the process. Naturally, I picked some of my favorite ladies. Some of these women are still selling records and concert tickets; some can't escape their one-hit-wonder status. But they all brought a smile to my face while I sifted through memories in my basement. So I couldn't help but send a little '80s nostalgia your way. Here are the rockin' women who have helped me stave off my TV withdrawal for yet another day.

Cyndi Lauper — I'm a girl. I just wanna have fun! No matter how many hair color transformations she goes through, to me she will always be that girl dancing through her house, happily rebelling against all things parental. You've gotta love the fact that Cyndi's definition of fun includes cool shades and conga lines through town. … continue reading

Right off the bat, let me disclose that my taste in love songs is not always conventional; the song that consistently moves me to tears is "Commitment" from the musical 1776. (Picture John and Abigail Adams expressing their love by sending each other saltpeter and pins. It's very moving. Really.) But my idiosyncratic tastes aside, when I think of love songs, I think emotional, a little girly, occasionally bombastic. (Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" immediately comes to mind.) So when I saw that Entertainment Weekly had compiled a list of the 25 Best Love Songs Ever, I expected a little girl power. However, it seems that songs become more "swoon-worthy" when they pass a bobbing Adam's apple on the way out. A full 78% of the songs on the list were recorded by men.

Women do occupy a few prominent spots. Most notably, Aretha Franklin comes in at spot number four with her version of "(You Make Feel Like) A Natural Woman."

Certainly no reasonable person could object to this placement. Also in the top 10 is Whitney Houston's version of "I Will Always Love You." … continue reading

If you remember Members Only jackets, big hair and the musical stylings of the Cars, A Flock of Seagulls, and Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, you'll appreciate this. Drew Barrymore threw friend and production partner Nancy Juvonen an '80s-themed birthday party at her house last week.

Sounds like it was more fun than a can of Diet Coke and a mouthful of Pop Rocks.

Guests were treated to prom-style photos upon their arrival. Here, Courtney Love shows off her prom finery, complete with the most important accessory: a date in a powder-blue tux and white bucks. … continue reading