Ever year, I hear the same Christmas songs blaring in my ears while doing my shopping. At least at home I can choose my own brand of holiday music, and I don't care if they're redone or completely new contemporary wintertime tunes — I just like them different from the same songs I hear every single year. ("Jingle Bell Rock," get out of my life.)

A lot of artists record songs for this time of year, so I'm going to focus on those of the Sapphic variety. No, they aren't lesbian Christmas songs per se, but they are sung by out artists. (Is lesbian Christmas different from regular Christmas? Maybe it is and I just never knew about it. Must only be visible to the straight eye.)

Here are some of my favorites (for listening or for laughing at; your choice).

Various Artists — A Very Special Christmas, Vol. 2 (1992)

This charity holiday album featured several well-known singers doing renditions of traditional tracks as well as more newly penned songs, including Sinead O'Connor's cover of Bob Dylan's "I Believe in You." Not too Christmasy, but fitting enough. … continue reading

Quick, think of a lesbian. No, not the one who dances all the time. No, not the one who is really smart about politics. No, not the one who plays the guitar. No, not the one who plays tennis. Or the other one who plays tennis. No, the one who used to have her own successful talk show and used to fight with her co-host on another talk show and likes to write on her blog in incomplete sentences.

Yes, that one. Like we could forget. Though apparently Rosie O'Donnell herself is a little nervous that folks may have forgotten her since the days hosting her Emmy-winning chatfest and sparring with The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck. A promo for her new NBC variety special Rosie Live reintroduces the out funny lady.

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NBC has unofficially announced the new Late Night host to succeed Conan O'Brien in 2009, and (surprise) it's not a woman. Jimmy Fallon has signed on to be O'Brien's replacement, while Conan will move up to 11:35 p.m. to replace Jay Leno, whose contract is expiring. Looks like this means NBC will be continuing the grand tradition of male hosts in their late-night lineup. Now if you would all grab your calculators, let's see what this brings our tally of females currently in late-night TV to: One.

That honor goes to Chelsea Handler, who has a 30-minute talk show on E!.

Handler is the only woman in television to host a night-time talk show at this time. A rare honor, Handler joins a very short list alongside Joan Rivers as being the only female comics to host a late-night show. If we take out our trusty calculators again and add these figures together, that brings our grand total to two female late-night talk show hosts. Ever. In the history of television. Two.

For whatever reason, networks seem to think that women are more funny to more people when the sun is out. Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres have both won multiple Emmy awards for their daytime talk shows and have an enormous audience base stretching across all demographics, yet their shows never air before dinner time. … continue reading

Kathie Lee Gifford is known for a lot of things. She was the Carnival Cruise Lines spokesperson. She was a vocalist on Name That Tune. She's the wife of Frank Gifford and the mother of Cody and Cassidy. She was an unwitting sweatshop labor beneficiary. And of course, she was the perkier half of Live With Regis and Kathie Lee.

Now, however, she's getting ready to be known for a new gig: Beginning next Monday, she'll joining the crew of the Today Show.

Sort of. She won't actually be on the air with this crew most of the time. She'll be on the relatively new fourth hour of the show with co-host Hoda Kotb. … continue reading

It's St. Patrick's Day! I'm never quite sure what to make of this particular holiday, since it immediately brings to mind losers wearing green hats and guzzling green beer — or worse, parades that won't let the gays in. But in an attempt to accentuate the positive, here are seven (that's lucky!) delightful Irish people and things:

1. Carly Smithson

I'm still not entirely sure she can live up to all the hype, but American Idol contestant Smithson was great last week. I hope she'll continue to rock out, though I really don't think the Ann Wilson comparisons are right. There can be only one Ann Wilson. But kudos to Smithson for bringing Heart to the masses.

2. Roisin Connor (Siobhan McCarthy)

If you stopped watching Bad Girls after Helen and Nikki left the show, tune back in to see Roisin and Cassie, another star-crossed couple. Sometimes they wear very nice soooots.

3. Emma Donoghue … continue reading

Have you been watching Nip/Tuck, even though Portia de Rossi has been AWOL for so long? I have, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about the recent psycho stalker story line, with special guest star Sharon Gless. [Warning: Spoilers]

When Gless first showed up on the show, I was thrilled. Her character, Colleen Rose, was sassy, smart and funny — just like I like Gless, and like I'm used to seeing her. But things soon took a turn for the criminally insane. We learned that Colleen wasn't really a talent agent; she was just trying to get close to Dr. Sean. And when an actual agent interfered, teddy-bear-collecting Colleen decided to stuff him. It was one of the most gruesome murder scenes — not to mention one of the trippiest — I've ever seen on TV.

Last week, it looked like Colleen met an untimely death at her own hands. I'm not sure whether she'll be back for one last gasp tonight, or will even be mentioned again. But I do know one thing: I don't understand why Gless took the role. (I'm not the only one.) I guess maybe she thought it would be fun to play crazy. But the story line was just plain misogynist — Colleen the capable professional soon became Colleen the desperate, menopausal, lonely, diabolical crone. It seems very far beneath Gless.

I might be overreacting. But most of the women on Nip/Tuck are appallingly two-dimensional, and not just because they're vain moneyed types seeking plastic surgery. Creator Ryan Murphy (who is gay, not that that means anything at all in terms of his attitude toward women) seems to want to destroy his female characters and erase their humanity. Whether it's Kimber (or Eden) the slut — don't even get me started on their violent sex scene last week — or Colleen the psycho or Julia the meat-seeking rag doll or Liz the barely there prudish lesbian or Kate the fat actress, they're easy to sum up and difficult to care about. … continue reading