If last night's "10 Most Fascinating People of 2008" is an accurate indicator, it doesn't take much to charm Barbara Walters.

Only three women made the list: AfterEllen.com sweetheart Tina Fey; her doppelgänger, Sarah Palin; and the omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient Miley Cyrus.

Most fascinating about Miley Cyrus is the fact that she just signed a seven-figure book deal. No, I'm not joking. The star of the crazy-successful Hannah Montana earned Disney $1 billion this year in ratings, merchandising and concerts. One billion dollars.

Walters mentioned Cyrus' scandalous Vanity Fair photo shoot, calling it R-rated. I didn't get the hoopla when the photo came out, and I don't get it now. Apparently Barbara and I are watching entirely different R-rated movies. I give this photo a G-minus at worst.

Here's where it gets weird: Tina Fey and Sarah Palin might look alike, but Fey actually has more in common with Miley Cyrus. She, too, just signed a book deal, though it was only for a reported six figures. And she also took a turn sitting for Annie Leibovitz in Vanity Fair. … continue reading

Remember when I prophesied that Miley Cyrus and her band of Merry Tweens were going to take over the world? Well, in less than 48 hours it has come to pass. Wait, maybe I made it happen. Maybe I blogged it into existence. Maybe I'm blognipotent. Um, Lauren Graham will call to ask me out for dinner. I said: Lauren Graham will call to ask me out for dinner!

OK, maybe not, which is just as well, because I would use that power for selfish ends anyway. Also it means I don't have to take responsibility for this: In addition to being nominated for four Teen Choice Awards (Choice TV Actress: Comedy, Choice TV Comedy, Choice Music: Single and Choice Music: Female Artist), Miley Cyrus is going to host the show — just another step in her plan for global domination. (I'll bet Pinky phones her every night. "What are we going to do tonight, Miley?" he asks. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!")

Ahem.

The CW's Gossip Girl racked up 14 nominations, leaving executives of the flailing network even more befuddled as to why no one is watching their shows.

Fox's Teen Choice Awards are similar to Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Awards in that they are voted on by teenage viewers; people wear whatever they want to the show; there are no morbid death montages like at the Oscars; the award itself is a surfboard instead of a trophy; and the categories are pretty awesome.

Here are some of my favorites:

Choice Movie: Villain

Cate Blanchett – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Jeff Bridges - Iron Man

Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd

Samuel L. Jackson - Jumper

Susan Sarandon - Enchanted

Choice TV: Villain

Ed Westwick - Gossip Girl

Michael Rosenbaum - Smallville

Spencer Pratt - The Hills

Vanessa Williams - Ugly Betty

Zachary Quinto - Heroes … continue reading

(Although, isn't it a little strong to call Chuck Bass a villain?)

OK, I'm not the sharpest pencil in the backpack, so maybe that's why I don't get what the fuss is over this news of deception perpetrated by Miley Cyrus, the 15-year-old star of Disney Channel's Hannah Montana. I mean, I wanted to be outraged and self-righteous when I heard and read the media buzz about another entitled child star doing something unsavory. But after learning what the crime was, I couldn't even muster a disapproving frown or a finger-wagging!

If you haven't heard by now, Cyrus, while performing on stage as her alter ego Hannah Montana, was captured on video by a fan. The video shows Cyrus being whisked offstage while a stand-in skips and dances and prances around onstage to give Cyrus additional time to change from the character into her real self. Of course, my first thought was, "Hold up! Isn't it illegal to videotape a concert? Arrest that fan!" Anyway, Cyrus' representatives quickly confirmed that yes, a "production element" is incorporated into the show to facilitate a quicker costume change. Here's the apparent offense: … continue reading

We're only a week into 2008 and there's already plenty of fodder for our weekly countdown of of dumb entertainment and celebrity news stories — from bad Cashmere Mafia headlines, to an idiotic Texas mom, to teenage slumber parties being turned into lesbian orgies.

And I'll give you $10 (not really) if you can correctly guess what product these women are hawking in this commercial (but no fair guessing if you already know!):

The #1 worst celebrity/entertainment news of the week? You'll just have to watch to find out... … continue reading

Last night’s Teen Choice Awards could have been called the More Evidence That High School Musical Is Taking Over the Universe Awards. But I guess that would be too long to fit on the trophies. While South of Nowhere lost the Choice Breakout TV show award to Heroes, fellow AfterEllen.com reader favorite Degrassi won the Choice Summer TV award. See the complete list of winners here. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll admit that I did not watch the show. I’m so far out of the teen demographic that to tune in would have been mildly creepy. However, I have no problem scanning the pictures afterward. Voyeurism, journalism — it’s a thin line. And with that, I give you my completely unprofessional, randomly snarky thoughts on the stars of the Teen Choice Awards.

Hilary Duff and Eve: Is this too much back and front for these ladies to be showing at a show for teenagers, or am I just a being a prude?

Ashley Jensen and America Ferrera: These two are causing me to have some decidedly R-rated thoughts during an entirely PG-rated show.

… continue reading

Since its debut in 2006, Disney's mega-hit show Hannah Montana has been a contender in the TV, music and movie industries, and its young star, 14-year-old Miley Cyrus, is being hyped as an Annette Funicello.

If you don't know the show, here's a primer. "Hannah Montana" is the stage name and secret identity of Miley Stewart, who is a normal girl by day, a pop singing sensation by night. Miley Stewart is played by Miley Cyrus (yep, daughter of Billy Ray). The episodes mix teenage life lesson with rock concert. … continue reading