With all the lesbian and bisexual medical personnel popping up on television around the world — including Melissa George joining Grey's Anatomy as a bisexual intern next month — we thought we'd count down some of the hottest lesbian or bi medical doctors on TV.

This isn't an exhaustive list, and it doesn't include lesbian psychiatrists, nurses, or paramedics, it's just our take. Feel free to offer your opinion in the comments (and we know you will!).

1. Dr. Remy Hadley, aka "Thirteen" (Olivia Wilde) — House M.D. (Fox)

She might be drugged out, on death's door, and doing her best to live up to the "bisexuality = promiscuity" stereotype, but Thirteen is still sex on a stethoscope.

If you don't know why, you clearly haven't seen this.

2. Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez) — Grey's Anatomy (ABC)

Although the writers are dangerously close to ruining the story line about her burgeoning romantic relationship with Dr. Hahn, surgical resident Callie is still one of the hottest probably-queer doctors around.

Why? Duh, it's Sara Ramirez! 'Nuff said.

3. Dr. Macarena "Maca" Wilson Fernández (Patricia Vico) — Hospital Central (Spain)

This pediatrician married her wife, Esther, in the first lesbian wedding on Spanish TV; had a child with her, and then a sperm donor; divorced her and had a relationship with psychiatrist Vero; and now she's the head of the ER on this popular primetime Spanish TV series.

Keeping up with her love life is exhausting — and we love every minute of it. … continue reading

Um, hi House. Yeah, thing is, I want my 20 seconds back. Yes, those 20 seconds. Yes, I timed them. Those 20 seconds of good stuff. Those 20 seconds you cut from the smoking hot promos compared to what actually aired on American television.

The 20 seconds that include the removal of tops, unbuttoning of pants, kissing of stomachs and breathless, carnal uttering of something like “come here.”

Don't be coy with me. You know you cut them. They looked like this:

Last night's episode of House, both ironically and un-ironically titled “Lucky Thirteen,” featured the first real physical evidence of Thirteen's (Olivia Wilde) bisexuality as she slept with and then had to treat a female one-night stand. The woman was played by Angela Gots, who many will remember from The L Word as Cammie the “gay for pay” actress whom portrayed Shane/Shaun in the meta headache known as Lez Girls. … continue reading

Fox has very, very wisely put up this promo for next week's episode of House M.D. ("Lucky Thirteen"), the one in which Olivia Wilde's character Thirteen finally explores her bisexuality on camera.

It's a hot make-out scene between Wilde and another woman, the kind you virtually never see on broadcast television, with The Kills' "Cheap and Cheerful" playing in the background:

You can tell one of the writers of this episode is a lesbian (former Xena writer Liz Friedman), and that it stars a woman (Wilde) who has actually kissed another woman before (Mischa Barton, on The O.C.).

Is this promo a cheap marketing ploy designed to lure new (straight male) viewers to House next week? Absolutely. Will it work? Absolutely. Does that bother me? Eh, not so much at this particular moment.

There's also an extended version of this scene on Fox.com, but fair warning: the rest of the scene is a lot more serious, and not nearly as fun to watch.

This week, Cat is on the prowl with out writer/producer Liz Friedman (House, Xena). They take on the batting cages for a little friendly competition, and discuss being out in Hollywood, as well as Xena's sexuality.

Also, set your TiVo to record Liz's upcoming episode of House (airing Oct. 21), which will feature some steamy scenes that you won't want to miss (and may never delete). Spoiler alert: Olivia Wilde is hot.

Look for a new episode of Cat on the Prowl every Wednesday afternoon. For more information on Cat, visit www.myspace.com/catdaviscomedy.

The cranky is back! House returns tonight with its fifth season premiere to bring professional misanthropy back to the masses. Dr. Gregory House and his past and present diagnostic team are all returning, including bisexual doc Thirteen (Olivia Wilde), who actually gets a first and last name: Remy Hadley.

When last we left our good and not-so-good doctors, things were looking down — really, really down. Wilson's girlfriend Amber died in a crash on a bus she would have never been on if it hadn't been for House. And Thirteen learned that she has Huntington's disease, and therefore a 10-year life expectancy, after finally taking the test. Good times all around.

… continue reading

Since we're on a negative note, I've got a bone to pick with the folks at Entertainment Weekly: I came home Friday to find the magazine in my mailbox and a nattily-dressed Hugh Laurie on the cover. Thrilled at the prospect of reading about my favorite stable of fake doctors, I opened to the cover story only to be instantly incensed. Why? Well look at the photo that accompanied the article.

"If only," you said. "If only I could have a complete list of returning fall television shows so I will know when to set my DVR to record my favorite women."

Well, we've heard your pleas! Your wish is our command! (All times are EST.)

SEPTEMBER

Monday, Sept. 1
Gossip Girl (CW), 8 p.m.
One Tree Hill (CW), 9 p.m.
Prison Break (Fox), 8 p.m.

Tuesday, Sept. 2
The Shield (FX), 10 p.m.

Wednesday, Sept. 3
America's Next Top Model (CW), 8 p.m.
Bones (Fox), 8 p.m.

Sunday, Sept. 7
Entourage (HBO), 10 p.m.

Monday, Sept. 8
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Fox), 8 p.m.

Wednesday, Sept. 10
'Til Death (Fox), 9 p.m. … continue reading

Ah, summer: time for swimming, frolicking, eating ice cream, sitting in a dark room and crying because all the good television shows are on hiatus until fall.

Kidding, of course! Summer is a time of great optimism for television addicts. You can catch up on any shows you missed, because last fall's shows will be hitting DVD any day now. You can watch the Television Critics Association's summer press tour, hoping to catch a glimpse of any fall shows that will feature strong, confident, beautiful women in leading rolls. (And maybe if we're lucky, even some lesbian subtext!) You can even take a look at the Television Critics Association's Summer poll and set your TiVo (or order your Netflix queue) accordingly.

According to the Television Critics Association's summer poll, here are the best and worst of shows of 2008:

Best:

I definitely agree with the first seven. I haven't seen Breaking Bad or In Treatments. I can say, however, that even as a history nut, watching Laura Linney make out with Paul Giamatti in John Adams is downright yucky. … continue reading

God, that was depressing. I mean that in a good way – I think. For the last four seasons, House has had one pervading mantra amid all the misanthropic behavior and brilliant diagnosis: everybody lies. Well last night in the season finale, one of the letters changed. Now, it’s everybody dies. So buckle up and break out a fresh box of Kleenex. You’re going to need it.

Last week was the frenetic “House’s Head,” with its smutty twists and turns. This week is the wrenching “Wilson’s Heart,” with its slow decent into the great unknown. To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect, but I know I didn’t expect this.

The episode opens in Amber’s hospital room. Battered and bandaged, she is unconscious and her heart is racing. But the doctors at the inferior hospital don’t know why. House and Wilson, through a little telling subterfuge, get her moved to their state-of-the-art Princeton-Plainsboro.

In the ambulance over, she goes into V-fib. But instead of using shocking her heart back into rhythm, Wilson convinces House to ice her down. More medical jargon ensues but the gist is that it slows down her heart and keeps it from destroying her brain. It’s the medical equivalent of “pressing pause” and will buy House time to use his big old brain.

But poor House’s head has been through a lot in the last two days. It’s gotten drunk, been hit by a bus, been given a lap dance, been hypnotized, been sensory deprived, been dosed with Alzheimer’s medication, and, finally, been on the business end of a heart attack. Even given all of that, House is acting curiously unHouse-like. … continue reading

Stripper Cuddy! Stripper Cuddy!! Stripper Cuddy!!! There, now that we have that out of the way, we can begin this week's House mini-recap. Stripper Cuddy! Oops, sorry, guess there was one more left in there.

Part one of the two-part season finale, “House's Head,” gave us the aforementioned stripper Cuddy, a horrific bus crash, retrograde amnesia, Thirteen's real name and one whopper of a plot twist. All in all, it was a-freaking-mazing.

The penultimate episode opened in, naturally, a strip club. A disoriented House watched a dancer do her thing, but realizes something is amiss. He can't remember how he got to the club. He can't remember what he did before he got to the club. And he can't remember why he is bleeding. Wow, I hate that when that happens. … continue reading

Even when House is wrong, he's right. In last night's episode, "Living the Dream," Dr. Feelbad kidnaps, drugs and bribes — all in the day's diagnosis. You know, normal House stuff.

The episode opens on the set of House's favorite soap opera. As the fake Dr. Sterling Brock (Sex and the City's resident hunk Jason Lewis) leaves for the day, his chauffeur is, you guessed it, a cranky guy with a limp.

Photo credit: Isabella Vosmikova/FOX

You see, House is kidnapping Dr. Sterling, aka Evan Greer, because he is convinced from watching the show that the actor has a brain tumor. Wow, now that's what I call a dedicated fan. Actually, House claims he is saving Evan because he wants to know if the baby turns out to be his on the soap. Like I said, he's a dedicated fan.

Photo credit: Chris Haston/NBC Universal-Fox

The episode is part spoof on stalker fans, part existential examination of happiness. You see, Evan isn't very happy. Sure, he's a ridiculously handsome fellow and a beloved star of a hot soap. But he's not happy with his work. The episode also gives us the brief return of Cameron and an even briefer peek into Thirteen's personal life. … continue reading

Niceness as a sickness? Oh, yeah, House is definitely back. Last night's first-post strike episode, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," opened with a not-so-sly wink at the writers strike that kept the show off the air for months. Picketers holding familiar-looking red, black and white signs march up and down the sidewalk. But wait, those are nurses, not Hollywood scribes. And so enters Gregory House, M.D.

Photo credit: Art Streiber/Fox

With the nurses on strike, the good bad doctor hides out in the emergency room to avoid Cuddy. She is trying to get him to help in the E.R., so clearly it's the last place she'd look for him. But House finds something interesting instead. A man who doesn't mind waiting for hours in the E.R. Clearly, this is a sick, sick man. Well that or, as House asks, "Is he Canadian?" … continue reading

Dr. Feelbad is back. Television's most misanthropic M.D. and his much-maligned minions return tonight as House begins airing its first post-strike episodes. When last we saw the not-so-good doctor, he was teasing new hire Thirteen (The O.C.'s Olivia Wilde) about her newly revealed bisexuality. Now that the show is back for four new episodes, here's hoping Thirteen's sexuality is back as well.

Photo credit: Chris Haston/NBC Universal/Fox

Tonight's episode, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," involves a patient House thinks is — yes, you guessed it — simply too darn nice. This season has revolved largely around House and the search for his new team, which was finally whittled down to Thirteen, Taub (Peter Jacobson), Kutner (Kal Penn) and reluctant returnee Foreman (Omar Epps). Former candidate Amber Volakis (Anne Dudek) — unaffectionately known as Cutthroat Bitch — and current girlfriend to House's best friend, Wilson, is also back. … continue reading