Recently, I have been contemplating getting another tattoo. After all, it has been scientifically proven that they are hot. Before I get inked, however, there are two things I have to decide on first: the design and the placement.

Now you see why I am holding out. There is nothing worse than a bad tattoo.

Let's be real, though: The design options are endless; the placement options are not. And what better way to decide where to permanently mark my body than by looking to celebrities for guidance? It seems to be the trend.

First, there's the old-school armband that Pamela Anderson made popular.

Her thoughts on body art?

"Tattoos are like stories — they're symbolic of the important moments in your life. Sitting down, talking about where you got each tattoo and what it symbolizes, is really beautiful."

But what exactly does barbed wire symbolize? Oh, right: There was that 1996 movie written by someone named Ilene Chaiken. But I digress.

Moving on, I present to you arms and wrists.

Clockwise from top left: Winona Ryder, Jessica Alba, Alanis Morissette and Tegan and Sara.

(See more of Tegan and Sara's tattoos here.)

Of course, I could follow the examples of Megan Fox, Alyssa Milano and Christina Ricci and choose the back of my shoulder. … continue reading

I don't frequent Victoria's Secret stores. I don't watch those lame Victoria's Secret TV specials. I don't peruse the Victoria's Secret catalog and never have, not even when one of my college friends insisted it was the perfect study break.

So, fine; I didn't really expect to like the 2008 What Is Sexy? list, which was released by Victoria's Secret earlier today. But nor did I expect to be thoroughly confused by it. You've probably seen headlines about the most ridiculous one: Ryan Seacrest made the list for "sexiest smile." Ryan Seacrest? I think they must have accidentally copied and pasted from their What Is Icky? list.

But let's talk about the women on the list, starting with the one that really made me say "Whaaaaat?" in a Jill Bennett–esque way:

Sexiest Mom: Victoria Beckham

Uh. Did they mean Sexiest Person You Always Forget Is a Mom, Because, Really, Since When Can Mannequins Reproduce? I can think of many better candidates. Salma Hayek, for one.

Sexiest Actress: Eva Mendes … continue reading

The results are in. Thanks to E-Poll Market Research, we now know which celebrities the American public finds the most “appealing, confident, glamorous, interesting and over-exposed, among other qualities.” (This was voted on by approximately 1,100 people ages 13 and up, so rest assured it's based on a completely accurate demographical slice of the American pie.)

Here's who topped the list of Most Popular Celebrities:

I have to admit, I was a little surprised by this. I know Reese Witherspoon won an Oscar for Walk the Line and all, but she knocked out a couple of tabloid heavyweights at numbers two and three:

I guess Witherspoon has been giving Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie a run in the competition for Most Likely to Show Up on a Tabloid Cover, what with the divorce from Ryan Phillippe and the reported fling with Jake Gyllenhaal. Looking at who rounds out the top of the list, I suspect tabloid presence was the primary qualification. … continue reading

Ahhh, lesbian hair. That much-maligned subject of punch lines everywhere. Historically, gay women’s hairstyles haven’t always had the best reputation. And I’m not even going to mention the dreaded M-word. While I have no problem with business in the front, party in the back when it comes to your personal life, I refuse to accept it on your head. But I believe we’ve turned a corner here in the hair club for women. Why else would so many stars be rocking the lesbian hair of late?

I’m not just talking seventh-grade-gym-teacher hair either. I speak of all the chic, often cropped cuts the ladies of TV and film have been sporting everywhere. It’s gotten to the point that even seemingly straight stars have started suffering from lesbian twin syndrome. I’m dying for Women’s Murder Club and Bionic Woman to do a crossover episode so these two can scream: “Lesbian Twins activate! Form of — haircut!”

So with that, let’s examine, and of course rate, the trend of lesbian locks. … continue reading

Writers strike or not, November heralds in sweeps. And sweeps heralds in guest stars. And guest stars herald in ... OK, I'm officially out of stuff to herald. But I do know that when it comes to sweeps month, the very special guest star is trumped only by the lesbian kiss as the most popular sweeps stunt. So, let's rate the ratings stunts, starting with the big guns.

Note: A few of these guest stars are showing up tonight, so set your DVRs!

Al Gore on 30 Rock (tonight!): Former vice president. Oscar winner. Nobel Peace Prize winner. Rightful Almost next president of the United States.
Stunt Wattage: 10, but we should dial it down to 8.5 to conserve energy.

… continue reading

It’s T-minus seven days to Halloween weekend, and you know what that means, right? It means that it’s time to find a costume. But before you grab that bed sheet and just pass yourself off as Casper again, why not take a cue from the stars instead? Look, wasn’t it nice of Bones stars Emily Deschanel/Wonder Woman and Michaela Conlin/Cher (with Catwoman Tamara Taylor hiding in the background) to model their outfits in advance for us?

It’s easier to look like a famous star than you might think. Here is a quick do-it-yourself guide to dressing up like your favorite celebrity this Halloween, complete with a handy checklist of supplies you’ll need for each look. … continue reading

Alyssa Milano blogs about baseball.

Margaret Cho vlogs her Sensuous Woman tour and photo blogs getting tattoos.

Pamela Anderson uses her blog to assure us that she's a good mom.

Those are just three of the big-name bloggers on Celebrity Cowboy's list, "66 Celebrities that Blog." Why would people who hire publicists to manage their messages take up blogging? Well, let's see. … continue reading

Sometimes my job is too easy. Really, it is. The jokes, they just write themselves. On days like this, it’s like I don’t even need to bother showing up. In fact, I’m going to grab a sandwich during this post. And while I’m out, I’ll have to pick up a thank-you card for Victoria Beckham for facilitating my mini-vacation.

OK, I’ve finished my sandwich. Has Posh finished screaming “Take me to your leader!” through the streets of Paris? No? Well, then I’ll pop out for dessert while she tells you about the brutal, bloody fight she had with Big Bird over who was wearing what to the Chanel show. As you can see, she hasn’t had a chance to clean up and is still clutching her war wounds. On the plus side, I think she won. … continue reading