I daresay that, out of all the Peanuts television specials, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving may be the lesbian favorite. It does, after all, focus on one of our favorite speculative lesbians, Peppermint Patty.

The story is classic Peanuts: Charlie Brown is planning to go to his grandmother’s house for Thanksgiving until Peppermint Patty calls and tells him she has no place to spend the holiday. Linus eases Chuck’s guilt by suggesting that they have two dinners, one of which is with the gang.

Peppermint Patty is at first critical of the feast, which consists of popcorn, buttered toast, ice cream, pretzels and jelly beans, in keeping with Chuck’s cooking skills. … continue reading

Being a — forgive me — rather gifted Lesbian Scientician, I expected to fare much better with the gambling on my recent trip to Las Vegas. When I told my very straight best friend about my shocking disappointment, she scoffed and told me she didn't even understand what Lesbian Scientistics was. I explained that it is the meeting of Science and Statistics as viewed through the lens of Queerology, obviously.

When she seemed skeptical, I said, "Well at least my gaydar still works."

This, too, is something my best friend is skeptical about. She feels like she can discern someone's sexuality as quickly and effectively as her gay friends can do it. So, we put it to the test with a random control group: cartoon characters. I chose the top five lesbian cartoon characters based on my skills as a lesbian, and she chose the top five lesbian cartoon characters based on her skills as a straight person.

Here are our results:

Now, it's up to you to make the final decision: Which cartoon characters are the biggest lesbians? It doesn't have to be the ones listed here. I'm sure we've forgotten some. Please help restore some of my dignity after my terrible show at Vegas Blackjack.

The two most prominent memories I have of reading as a child involve Walnut Grove and a beagle with an overactive imagination. I recall vividly how my mother would read me the tales of Laura Ingalls Wilder before bed. I recall equally vividly learning how to read via the Sunday morning comics, which meant Peanuts, Peanuts and more Peanuts. That might have something to do with being from the same vicinity as the guy who created Charlie Brown and his lovable companions. Charles Schultz is so revered around these parts that we put up bronze statues of his creations in our city parks.

After reading all about a new book detailing Schultz's life and some of the stories behind his creations, I began to reminisce about my formative years, years spent watching good ol' Chuck fall for Lucy's tricks, Schroeder bang out Beethoven on his toy piano, and best friends Marcie and Peppermint Patty sell Cheerios. … continue reading