Dearest California,

This is your love, New York. We know we're 3,000 miles away and that long-distance relationships are trying, but we just want to let you know how much we love you.

Sure, we have our differences. Sometimes we really don't understand why your residents insist on driving to the grocery store even if they live only a few blocks away. Plus, we really don't get the whole L.A. culture, which we find a bit superficial. Don't get us wrong: In New York City we're just as superficial, but at least we're tactful about it, although you may counter that "tactful" is just a euphemism for "dishonest."

We know that you’re a bit unstable, but we love you for who you are. Sometimes you shake uncontrollably, which you blame on some guy named Andreas, and sometimes, someone named Santa Ana causes you to spontaneously combust. Our suggestion that you take a cue from us and go to therapy has gone unheeded, but we respect your decision.

Of course, we admit that we may wear a little too much black, and you may laugh when we insist that Long Island has nice beaches, but when it comes down to it, deep down inside, we're pretty much the same. We're two sides of the same coin — the coin called the United States of America.

On Nov. 4, 52 percent of your residents let you down by passing Proposition 8. Believe it when we say that we felt your pain all the way over here. … continue reading

I'll admit that I didn't pay close attention to the Oscars telecast this year. I just wasn't that excited about the nominees, and there wasn't even much star-gazing to do — where was Jodie Foster, anyway?

So I didn't even see the montage of the hosts of Oscars past. And that means I didn't notice that Whoopi Goldberg was completely left out of said montage.

Whoopi wasn't the only one who slipped Oscar's mind — Steve Martin was also left out of the host montage, and Brad Renfro and Roy Scheider were not included in the "In Memoriam" segment.

There was some footage (in a different montage) of Whoopi's 1990 win for Best Supporting Actress for Ghost. But there wasn't a second of praise for her four hosting gigs (yes, four! 1993, 1995, 1998, 2001). The slight did not please the ladies of The View. Whoopi even got a little teary-eyed — here's the clip: … continue reading

The lucky folks who made this week's countdown of dumb celebrity and entertainment news include Lifetime, The L Word, and The View's Sherri Shepherd (two words: "lesbian lifestyle").

We also take on the media coverage of Hillary Clinton, and a Fox employee run amuck. Because black SUV's aren't weapons, boys and girls!

The View is part of my morning routine. I work late and sleep late, so the show usually serves as background for sorting through my e-mail. Last season, Rosie O’Donnell made me pay closer attention than I had in the past, not just because of the funny or controversial things she said, but because she talked about her spouse and family in the same way the straight women did. Every day, Rosie let America know that lesbian couples were just like anyone else. Whatever else you think about Rosie, give her props for that. I was sorry to see her go.

But I was thrilled when Whoopi Goldberg was announced as Rosie’s replacement. I love and admire Whoopi and knew she would be liberal and gay-friendly in her opinions in, perhaps, a less edgy way than Rosie. Plus, The View desperately needed a woman of color in the mix.

After a few days — and a bit of controversy when she suggested that Michael Vick might have been brought up to think dogfighting was OK — Whoopi settled in and seemed comfortable in first chair. In fact, she is the perfect moderator. She is strong but gracious, able to keep the discussion moving and prevent verbal brawls, and adept at politely but firmly pausing the chatter for commercial breaks.

Yawn. … continue reading

On today's episode of The View, Barbara Walters announced that Whoopi Goldberg now has a permanent seat in the moderator's chair.

The news broke in unverified form last week, but ABC declined to comment. On today's show, Whoopi noted that people — including her own mother — have been hassling her for the final word. She called her new job "a big ol' thrill" but admitted she hasn't thought about her wardrobe "one iota":

"I know you wouldn't want me to pretend to be anything but me."

The other cohosts agreed that they want her just as she is. Walters even urged Whoopi to be "a little edgy," but Whoopi said, "I've always been nice," and promised to be careful not to use the words she uses "every day." … continue reading

After the Daytime Emmy Awards last Friday (read all about Ellen DeGeneres' big wins here), Bob Barker mentioned that CBS is planning to meet with Rosie O'Donnell to discuss The Price Is Right.

Barker's not opposed to the idea of Rosie hosting the show:

"She knows the show," he said. "There's no doubt in my mind she could do the show. Now, whether they want a lady host, I don't know. As far as I know, they've only auditioned men."

Yeah, yeah, it's hard to resist making a joke about Rosie being called a "lady," but I'll leave that to others. I'm more interested in Barker's flip-flopping, if earlier reports are to be believed: In May, TVGuide.com said he was "adamant" that Rosie not get the gig and the Daily News said the same. Hmm. Maybe Ro offered to make a big donation to one of his pet spay-and-neuter organizations? … continue reading

I know, I know, you're sick of hearing about Rosie O'Donnell. But on Sunday, she gave a talk at BookExpo America, the annual publishing convention. She discussed her forthcoming memoir, Celebrity Detox.

With her usual flair for hyperbole, Rosie told the convention attendees that fame is addictive:

“It is, in fact, a drug,” she said of fame, and spoke of seeing peers so radically, and scarily, transformed by celebrity that they looked like victims of “crystal meth.”

Another report says that the crystal meth comment was directed toward some of the female guests on The View:

"Some had lost half their body weight with their hair falling out," she said. "Some had been totally reconstructed and looked as though Barbie had been stamped on their (rear end). … continue reading

In case you had one too many Coronas at your Memorial Day party or were entirely offline all weekend (gasp!), here's the big news: Rosie O'Donnell has permanently vacated her (shortened) chair at The View. She was supposed to stay for a few more weeks, to the end of the season, but the split-screen fight last week was just too much for her.

Judging by the comments on the blog (here and here and here), many of you think Rosie should have stuck it out to the bitter end. It seems like everyone's talking about the kerfuffle — on Sunday, three of People.com's top five stories were about Rosie and Elisabeth.

Here's a rundown of the weekend chit-chat: … continue reading

UPDATE: ABC has announced that Rosie O'Donnell will not be returning to The View to finish out the season.

If you thought things were crazy on The View on Wednesday, wait till you see this, courtesy of the New York Post:

Yesterday, Rosie's chief writer, Janette Barber, was allegedly escorted from the building after she was caught drawing moustaches on photographs of Hasselbeck that hang in the "View" studios.

The Post's Adam Buckman reports ABC confirmed in a statement only that "photographs at 'The View's' offices were defaced. Rosie O'Donnell was not in the building. ABC Legal and Human Resources are investigating the matter." Barber is an old friend of O'Donnell who worked with her years ago on "The Rosie O'Donnell Show."

There were also rumors O'Donnell was so angry after her argument with Hasselbeck that she trashed her dressing room, although ABC denied the tantrum.

Yeesh. I don't believe the second thing (about Rosie trashing Elisabeth's dressing room), and I'm not sure about the moustache thing either. To me, Janette has always seemed a little saner than that. She's usually so good at keeping her sense of humor, and she's been one of the best things about Rosie's blog lately. (In this picture, she's the one in the middle.)

… continue reading

But you never know; if it turns out to be true, maybe this was Janette's way of coming to Rosie's defense at a time when Rosie feels she has no defenders left.

On today's episode of The View, things got a little crazy. The show began with the most uncomfortable Hot Topics segment ever. Joy started it off innocently enough — well, she did insist that the nation should be outraged and Bush should be kicked out of office, but it wasn't personal. It soon got very, very personal, between (surprise) Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. (TMZ has the video.)

Rosie said that Elisabeth failed to defend her earlier this week, when Rosie was accused of saying that American troops are terrorists. Rosie didn't say that, exactly (she was really implying that the Bush administration is sometimes no better than a terrorist regime), but her statement could have been interpreted that way. Elisabeth did try to give Rosie a chance to clarify her comment on Monday, but to Rosie, that wasn't enough. When they revisited the whole thing today, it started out personal and stayed there, with Rosie focusing on how hurt she was and even calling Elisabeth "cowardly." … continue reading

I'll admit it: I sometimes have a difficult time distinguishing actors from their roles. I know that if I were to see Erin Daniels on the street, I'd say, "Oh, my God! You're alive!" And if Elizabeth Mitchell were to cross my path, I'd wonder why the jungle had turned to concrete — or, more likely, where Dr. Weaver is. But I don't think my occasional inability to separate fantasy from reality is the reason I can't get my head around the idea of Jennifer Garner creating a daytime talk show. I mean, daytime on which continent in which hemisphere?

… continue reading

To me, she just doesn't seem like the daytime type. But Garner and Lauren Sanchez-Whitesell (the former host of So You Think You Can Dance) are hoping to produce something they call "The View for mothers."

Rosie O'Donnell's in the news again, this time for comments she made in a new video posted on her blog suggesting (okay, outright stating) that the reason Ellen DeGeneres never talks about gay stuff on her show is that she is contractually forbidden from doing so.

Here's what happened: Rosie read a question from a reader asking, "why do you talk about being gay all the time? Gay, gay gay. Ellen never mentions it." Rosie responded:

Ellen's not allowed to -- she signed a contract saying she wouldn't. It was on the heels of my show, so that's why she doesn't. But you know what, she also paved the way for a lot of gay people, especially on TV, there were no gay shows on TV. She was pre-Will and Grace, remember that. So you know, I talk about gay because I like to, and she doesn't talk about gay because she doesn't want to, or she's can't, but who cares? It's fine. Gay, gay, gay, gay.

TMZ contacted a rep for Telepictures, producers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, who responded by joking, "She's gay? Who knew?" then added that this is completely untrue, and that they have no such contracts with any of their hosts, saying,"Ellen is free to talk about whatever she wants and we encourage her to do so."

Hmmm. I guess if it's a question of who to believe -- Hollywood publicists or Rosie -- I'm erring on the side of Rosie, because whatever else you might say about her, you can't really call her a liar (in fact, it's Rosie's willingness to speak uncomfortable truths that makes her such a media favorite). That said, she may have her facts wrong and not know it. … continue reading

Oh, Rosie O’Donnell. What did bloggers blog about on their bloggy blogs before you rode in on your lez-tastic motorcycle from the outskirts of town and motherhood this year?

The latest word on Rosie’s post-View plans comes courtesy of those paragons of decorum and sincerity Rush and Molloy, of New York’s Daily News. In their gossip column this week, they reported that the erstwhile Queen of Nice might be wresting away the skinny mike from Bob Barker as the new host of The Price Is Right when the old dude retires in June. Barker apparently doesn’t want Rosie for the job (the other possibilities listed don’t really seem like prizes to me either, there, Bob), but I’m more than a little skeptical that Ms. O’D is even considering it in the first place. … continue reading