Queer contestant Elina narrowly missed elimination (again) on America's Next Top Model in episode 11.10 "Planes, Trains, and Slow Automobiles," as Sheena got the boot and Top Model was winnowed down to five.

In between photo shoots in former brothels and on pirate ships, the models had flew to Amsterdam, had arguments over the legalization of prostitution, and shared a "lesbian bath moment" (it's not as exciting as it sounds).

I know Sheena can play up the porn look too easily, but really, I'm not seeing "hooch" in those boat photos. And Jay's comment about her not being "ladylike" was just annoying.

Sheena will definitely be missed, at least by me. You can see her portfolio of photos here — this one's my favorite:

Next week: it's time for the go-sees! Ten bucks says Marjorie has a nervous breakdown.

Unfortunately, schedule conflicts are preventing Stacie Ponder from recapping the rest of America's Next Top Model this season.

So I'm going to recap tonight's episode for you — using only three lines of (fake) dialogue.

First, here's the official episode description:

Tyra surprises the remaining girls with a one-on-one photo shoot to teach each girl how to find their most flattering pose. Back in the house, some girls question whether or not they have the look and drive to continue in the competition. This week’s photo challenge takes the girls to Los Angeles’ famous Orpheum Theatre, where they show off their best backstage award show snafu pose. The ladies do their best to replicate being caught in the restroom as well as revealing raw emotions during a phony acceptance speech. After the judges deliberate, one girl is sent home.

Now here's my recap:

MARJORIE: Awkward moments are my specialty!
ELINA: Must. Show. My. Emotions.
SHEENA: In the bottom two with Lauren Brie? Oh for hizzle! I better show my personality next time, yo.

Now it's your turn — give us your take on the episode, in three lines or less (it's harder than it looks!).

And with only a handful of models left, let us know who you think will be [cue the fierce music] America's. Next. Top. Model!

We're getting down to it now; we're in the home stretch of this season of America's Next Top Model. And if it weren't for the boredom factor of the last few episodes, the suspense would be killing us!

This week, we were missing our girl Jill Bennett (who is shooting a movie), so we invited another gorgeous, funny lesbian, comedian Bridget McManus, to fill in for her. Bridget is like that substitute teacher you had planned to harass and whose life you were going to make a living hell (just because you can), until you walked into the classroom, looked her up and down, said, "Vavoom!" and decided instead to give her the eye and a big, shiny apple. Or a big, shiny apple martini. Whatever works for you.

And did I mention that Bridget can totally rock a monocle?

Anyway, Bridget shared the sofa with me and Dara this week, bearing witness to (the cringe-fest of) the traditional ANTM go-sees, Bianca finally shutting up and just winning a challenge, and Jenah pissing off Tyra.

In addition, Bridget arrived with a slew of wigs (is she perfect for us or what?!) and an open mind, which you all know is a dangerous combination in the We're Getting Nowhere world. Behold her brilliance in not one but two reenactments! … continue reading