The latest Entertainment Weekly raises the question of what makes a movie sexy. Well, they really just present their list of “The 50 Sexiest Movies Ever,” but their designation of the sexiest moment in each movie selected suggests that the factors that contribute to movie sexiness are varied. (You can find EW’s 1-25 here and 26-50 here.)

For example, it can be an explicitly sexual act such as frenzied coitus in an alley in the rain (9 ½ Weeks, #24) or a same-sex kiss with lingering drool (Cruel Intentions¸ #32). It can be suggestive dancing tinged with violence (Mr. & Mrs. Smith, #3), or just an erotically delivered song (The Fabulous Baker Boys, #12). It can even be two strangers (Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood) making dinner (The Bridges of Madison County, #45).

And I get this. While Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood don’t do it for me as a couple, just the idea of Meryl Streep and Allison Janney as a couple — regardless of the lack of sexual contact between them — made The Hours an incredibly sexy movie to me.

Although I certainly disagree with some of EW’s list — anything with Kevin Costner (ew!) — I would include a number of their choices were I to make my own list of sexy movies. And what makes a movie sexy is clearly not an objective measure. Reasonable people can are likely to disagree. For me, there has to be palpable attraction between the characters. It’s even better, of course, when both (all?) characters sharing attraction are women.

There’s a fair amount of lesbian/bi-curious content to be found on the EW list — oddly, there’s considerable more lesbian representation in a “That’s hot” list than there usually is on their talent/power/intelligence lists. (Imagine that.) So I took a look at these options to assess whether I consider them among the sexiest movies of all time.

Mullholland Drive (#17) — No

The sexiest moment identified is the sex scene between Naomi Watts and Laura Elena Harring. I just didn’t get the connection between the women, much less feel the heat, but perhaps that’s because I don’t really get David Lynch. However, the friends with whom I saw it (one lesbian, one bisexual woman) both loved it, so reasonable people can certainly disagree. … continue reading

This week, the Retro Reviewers took it way back to the 1980s with Desert Hearts, one of the very first lesbian films to enjoy mainstream success. With strong acting, a realistic lesbian relationship, and a fun Western setting, all of the ladies were impressed.

Despite what the ending titles of this episode list, the Retro Reviewers decided that a special Halloween episode would be more seasonal for next time, and they plan to attack The Hunger. Watch if you dare!

Check back in two weeks for a new episode!

In David Lodge's campus comedy, Changing Places, the characters play a game called Humiliation, in which they take turns admitting their secret literary shame. Each player names the most embarrassing book they've never read, and when one character wins by admitting that he's never read Hamlet, he loses his job. The AfterEllen.com bloggers recently played our own game of Lesbian Pop Culture Humiliation, and when Sarah Warn, Malinda Lo and Trish Bendix read our confessions, we're probably all going to get fired.

To make our impending unemployment worth it, you've got to play along!

My secret lesbian shame is that I've never read or watched any Sarah Waters — not even the naughty bits, which I hear you can swiftly find online. (Gina Vivinetto admits this same lesbian sin.)

Reese DoWitt says the top three most embarrassing lesbian movies she's never seen are Bound, The Incredible Adventures Of Two Girls In Love and Chutney Popcorn.

Dorothy Snarker admits to never having watched a single episode of Bad Girls. (She played it down, though, by saying that she has watched plenty of Helen and Nikki fan videos.) … continue reading

Lately I've been thinking about lover Cindi on The L Word. Well, not Cindi herself, but the "lover" thing. It's hilarious every time Dawn Denbo says it, mostly because the word lover has gone out of favor. It used to be a common term in the gay community — or anywhere, really. Especially in the '70s.

But now lover has the connotation of "f--- buddy," while partner or girlfriend is generally the preferred term for the people you want to keep around for more than just sex. Or at least that's how it seems to me.

So what makes a partner, and what makes a lover? Armed with my trusty (and dusty) DVD collection, I have conducted a sort of survey. I don't suppose it's educational in any way, but it was fun.

1. Cay and Vivian (Patricia Charbonneau and Helen Shaver), Desert Hearts

I just had to begin with a tricky one, didn't I? Cay and Vivian definitely start out as lovers, but if Vivian had stayed, they might have become partners. Still, when I think of them, I don't think of fun times or tender touches or home improvement. I think of steamy sex and mind-bogglingly deep kisses.

Verdict: Lovers (they have to remind themselves to stop long enough to get some food!)

2. Claude and Lucy (Alison Folland and Leisha Hailey), All Over Me

These two are so cute, I don't care what you call them. But when they walk along with their ice cream and Leisha grins like that, it seems like a love that's built to last.

Verdict: Partners (in a happily ever after sense)

3. Corky and Violet (Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly), Bound

Hmm. These two are carnal and star-crossed, but they also seem destined to be together. And the sizzle is accompanied by a sense that they're on the same wavelength — they have a meeting of bodies and minds. I think I have my first tie.

Verdict: Partner-lovers (lesbian bed death will never strike!)

4. Agnes and Elin (Rebecka Liljeberg and Alexandra Dahlström), Show Me Love / F---ing Amal … continue reading

Is there such a thing as entertainment gaydar? Recently I came across an old friend on Facebook, whom I hadn’t seen in over a decade. Over the years, I’d wondered if perhaps she was gay — and once she had added me as a friend, I'll admit that I clicked over to her profile, curious to see if there would be anything about her sexual orientation there. While there wasn’t anything explicitly stated, I did see with interest that she listed The L Word as one of her favorite shows, and Brokeback Mountain and Chasing Amy as two of her favorite movies.

Now, entertainment gaydar, like any other gaydar, is based on stereotypes — and thus is bound to be somewhat unreliable. After all, there are plenty of straight people who like both The L Word and Brokeback Mountain. (And, actually, I think disliking Chasing Amy is probably a clearer sign of being a lesbian than liking it.) Nevertheless, this whole episode got me thinking about what a person’s tastes in entertainment may or may not say about her sexual orientation. And, using the popular AfterEllen.com forum thread "I’m so gay/I’m so not gay" as an inspiration, I decided to see how my tastes would stack up in the “stereotypically lesbianish” department.

To start off with the “I’m so not gay” category (hey, I may as well get the bit that will make me unpopular out of the way first):

1. I'll admit it — I don’t totally get the Tina Fey thing.

The fact that scribegrrrl, Dorothy Snarker, and Sarah Warn are all fans is enough to convince me that I must be missing something here — and who knows, maybe one day I will see the light. But I’ve seen 30 Rock, and the thing that amused me most about it was Alec Baldwin. (Who, whatever else he may or may not be, is definitively not lesbianish.)

2. I don’t watch The L Word.

The women on The L Word may be gay, but I’ve discovered that that, in and of itself, isn’t enough to make me identify with or deeply care about them. A little good writing goes an awfully long way.

3. I think Desert Hearts is a snooze-fest. … continue reading

Last Saturday night, while I was forgetting to record Tina Fey on SNL, a friend of mine excitedly told me that she's finally going to see the movie Personal Best when it airs on Logo (AfterEllen.com's parent company) Wednesday morning.

My friend has seen plenty of lesbian movies — we've seen about a zillion together — but this one is rarely on TV and was only recently released on DVD, so she's never managed to see it. And there are a number of reasons to see Personal Best. It's Mariel Hemingway's first lesbian role — and, for a straight woman, she's played a lot of lesbian roles.

It's also a great sports movie, and provides an interesting glimpse back at the Olympic Trials gearing up to the 1980 Summer Olympics. But most important, it was a watershed lesbian/bisexual movie. For many of us who were first struggling to come out in the '80s, it was the only mainstream lesbian or bisexual movie on our radar. … continue reading

We recently celebrated the 20th anniversary release of the classic lesbian film Desert Hearts on DVD with a "where are they now" piece on the actors who played Vivian (Helen Shaver) and Cay (Patricia Charbonneau), and an interview with director Donna Dietch.

The director, cast, and assorted friends got together for a party last night at the East West Lounge in L.A., and I snagged a couple photos for you:

Patricia Charbonneau, Donna Deitch and Helen Shaver

Erin Kelly (Loving Annabelle), event promoter Mariah Hanson, Patricia Charbonneau, Helen Shaver, comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer, Michelle Wolff (Dante's Cove)

I would like to this opportunity to reminisce about a few of Desert Heart's best lines — besides "she just reached in and put a string of lights around my heart," of course. Nothing can beat that one for its winning combination of corniness and vivid imagery, but here are a few really good lines from the film that were very memorable:

Vivian: [of her marriage] It drowned in still waters.

Cay: I don't act this way to change the world. I act this way so that the world won't goddamn change me!

Walter: [to Cay regarding her number of female visitors] How you get all that traffic with no equipment is beyond me!

and the game-changing exchange in the hotel room when Vivian finally stops fighting the love that dare not speak its name:

Vivian: I wouldn't know what to do.
Cay: You can start by putting the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door.

20 years later, that's still an excellent answer.

I don't know where I've been, but I just read that one of my favorite lesbian films, Desert Hearts, is coming out with a "Two-Disc Vintage Collection" on June 5, 2007.

… continue reading

The new release will contain never-before-seen footage of one of the best love scenes ever captured on film, new commentary by lesbian director Donna Deitch, and new interviews with Deitch and stars Helen Shaver and Patricia Charbonneau.